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Nearly in a serious car accident - hand hold please

719 replies

Usedandhurt · 24/10/2023 16:09

Im literally shaking. Just had a driver nearly kill me and my dc on the motorway. He/she must have not checked before they pulled onto the motorway from a slip road, I literally had to slam on the breaks to avoid crashing into them and thankfully the driver behind me and the one behind them etc etc were able to stop also. My dc would have been very badly hurt - it was a huge bus and I can only imagine the driver got distracted.

Im a nervous driver at the best of times and Im literally sick with nerves.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
BlueEyedPeanut · 25/10/2023 11:05

bathrobeandpie · 25/10/2023 10:59

and slowing down BEFORE the slip road just in case is a stupid thing to do.

Being too slow on the motorway IS dangerous and creates accidents.

What do you think slowing down means? It doesn't mean dropping down to 30MPH. It means dropping by a couple of MPH for a few seconds. It doesn't involve breaking. It doesn't involve someone up your ass. Doesn't everyone adjust to the conditions around them? If the car in front of me is doing 68, I don't keep going 70. I don't need to break. I just don't keep my foot down.

FrankieStein403 · 25/10/2023 11:09

>I was taught not to speed up or slow down near slip roads unless I absolutely have to because it makes it harder for the drivers on the slip to judge how fast I am going.

Yes, absolutely, maintain traffic speed as lanes merge - not necessarily the same as a constant speed.

However if op wants to avoid getting frightened in similar situations she should be increasing the gap in front of her when she knows a slip road is coming up. Simple defensive driving.

Yes HGV on your tail is a pain - do something about it if it worries you but certainly increase the gap in front - that's your safety margin.

BlueEyedPeanut · 25/10/2023 11:10

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 25/10/2023 11:00

Why do that when HC doesn't tell you to and when there's a gap behind her that bus can use? I was taught not to speed up or slow down near slip roads unless I absolutely have to because it makes it harder for the drivers on the slip road to judge how fast I am going.

Edited

Because my kids being alive is more important than being right. Again, the speeding up or slowing down should happen BEFORE the slip road. Create a gap BEFORE the slip road so that when you reach the slip road the vehicles on it can adjust their speed to get into the gap.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 25/10/2023 11:15

BlueEyedPeanut · 25/10/2023 11:10

Because my kids being alive is more important than being right. Again, the speeding up or slowing down should happen BEFORE the slip road. Create a gap BEFORE the slip road so that when you reach the slip road the vehicles on it can adjust their speed to get into the gap.

There was a gap behind her that the bus could have used.

She can't read the bus driver's mind, bus driver might also slow down and then she's lost the gap behind her that allowed her to make an emergency stop without being rear-ended.

Rules exist to mitigate inability to mindread.

I'm repeating myself in ever simpler shorter words in the hope that people might understand. Thinking my time would be better spent lobbying for mandatory retesting every decade. This thread alone is proof that retesting is needed.

BlueEyedPeanut · 25/10/2023 11:21

Just because there are rules it doesn't mean you should assume everyone will obey them. How do you know there was a gap behind her that the bus that was ahead of her could have pulled into? If I saw a bus ahead of me I would assume there was a chance he would try to pull out in front of me. It's not about being right or wrong. It's about staying alive. As others have said, it's smart to practice defensive driving. Which means expect the unexpected and assume everyone around you are idiots.

TenderDandelions · 25/10/2023 11:34

I stayed in lane 1 this morning where a slip road joined because the slip road I needed to use was about 500 yards after this one joined.

There was about 5 cars coming along the slip road to join, so I decided to adapt my pace slightly so as to allow all of them to join in front of me. I slightly slowed down to a pace that would have allowed all of them to join and for me to continue on at my reduced speed (I must have dropped from 70mph to about 65) or speed up again until my junction a few hundred yards later.

Despite leaving a shit tonne of room to join safely, the end car in the chain clearly misjudged my speed and slowed down to the point that she ended up directly alongside me approaching the end of the slip road, and gave herself nowhere to go. At that point I had cars in lane 2 right beside me so I couldn't go anywhere and it wasn't my responsibility to get out of her way, so she had to brake even more to slot in behind me.

Bottom line is people need to learn how to join a dual carriageway better!

SirChenjins · 25/10/2023 12:34

TenderDandelions · 25/10/2023 11:34

I stayed in lane 1 this morning where a slip road joined because the slip road I needed to use was about 500 yards after this one joined.

There was about 5 cars coming along the slip road to join, so I decided to adapt my pace slightly so as to allow all of them to join in front of me. I slightly slowed down to a pace that would have allowed all of them to join and for me to continue on at my reduced speed (I must have dropped from 70mph to about 65) or speed up again until my junction a few hundred yards later.

Despite leaving a shit tonne of room to join safely, the end car in the chain clearly misjudged my speed and slowed down to the point that she ended up directly alongside me approaching the end of the slip road, and gave herself nowhere to go. At that point I had cars in lane 2 right beside me so I couldn't go anywhere and it wasn't my responsibility to get out of her way, so she had to brake even more to slot in behind me.

Bottom line is people need to learn how to join a dual carriageway better!

This sort of thing happens all the time, and from the many posts on here stating (incorrectly) that drivers on motorways and dual carriageways are expected to pull over to let cars merge it just shows how truly clueless many drivers are about how to merge safely and properly.

The OP has been on the receiving end of some really unnecessary crap here.

ReturnOfTheRainMac · 25/10/2023 12:53

BlueEyedPeanut · 25/10/2023 10:42

The people being "mean" to the OP are the people who don't end up in car vs bus situations on the motorway. The people "blaming" the OP are the people who have enough awareness about the reality of driving that they would not ignore the hazards around them just because "the highway code says I'm in the right". And actually, it isn't blaming someone to tell them there was a better way to handle the situation.

You are not going to win against a bus or a lorry. It doesn't matter how right you are, you will be the one to suffer. Do you really think going forward the OP will continue to ignore the presence of slips roads? Or is she now likely to consider her options before she reaches that point? Which is something we "bad drivers" already do.

This is perfect! A rarely seen logical post 👏👏👏

bathrobeandpie · 25/10/2023 12:58

Or is she now likely to consider her options before she reaches that point? Which is something we "bad drivers" already do.

if you genuinely slow down every time you see a slip road, you ARE a bad driver.
If you expect others to slow down and let you join in, you are an even worst driver.

It sound like some "drivers" would like nothing less than traffic lights, allowing them to join the motorway without having to think, adjust their speed and driving based on the incoming traffic.😂

UnevenBalance · 25/10/2023 13:41

Or is she now likely to consider her options before she reaches that point?

But she did??
She established that she couldn’t move onto the middle lane.

And there is no way to say that by slowing down, it wouldn’t have created more problems? I mean if I join the motorway and i can see there is a car there, I slow down to let them pass. The car slowing down too doesn’t help help me.

Passepartoute · 25/10/2023 14:50

bathrobeandpie · 25/10/2023 12:58

Or is she now likely to consider her options before she reaches that point? Which is something we "bad drivers" already do.

if you genuinely slow down every time you see a slip road, you ARE a bad driver.
If you expect others to slow down and let you join in, you are an even worst driver.

It sound like some "drivers" would like nothing less than traffic lights, allowing them to join the motorway without having to think, adjust their speed and driving based on the incoming traffic.😂

The post from which you are quoting doesn't suggest anyone should slow down every time they see a slip road, let alone that traffic on the motorway should stop to let people on the slip road in. It simply makes the very sensible suggestion that people approaching the slip road should keep their eyes open and be ready to adjust their driving if necessary to avoid a collision. If they see the vehicle on the slip road is slowing down, obviously they aren't going to. If they see a bus tanking along on an apparent collision course with them and with no apparent intention of slowing, then, no matter how much in the wrong the bus driver may be, it makes sense to slow down to avoid that collision - not to maintain speed and then do an emergency stop. I really struggle to see what is wrong with that proposition.

Passepartoute · 25/10/2023 14:52

UnevenBalance · 25/10/2023 13:41

Or is she now likely to consider her options before she reaches that point?

But she did??
She established that she couldn’t move onto the middle lane.

And there is no way to say that by slowing down, it wouldn’t have created more problems? I mean if I join the motorway and i can see there is a car there, I slow down to let them pass. The car slowing down too doesn’t help help me.

You slow down. In this instance, the bus driver didn't, so OP ended up having to do an emergency stop. How would slowing down have created more problems than that?

Passepartoute · 25/10/2023 14:56

Nowherenew · 24/10/2023 20:10

Of course you should do what’s right.

What a ridiculous comment.

OP did slow down if you read it again.
She had to slam on her brakes because he was speeding and pulled out in front of her.

Luckily she didn’t do what you are suggesting and pull out in front of another driver in the middle lane.

On the contrary, OP specifically admits that she didn't slow down. Doing an emergency stop hardly counts as slowing down, and OP admits she is lucky that others behind her were also able to stop.

SirChenjins · 25/10/2023 15:00

The bus driver is the lucky one.

Passepartoute · 25/10/2023 15:11

Out of the car and the bus, sadly we know which is most likely to have come off worst if a collision had happened.

UnevenBalance · 25/10/2023 15:16

Passepartoute · 25/10/2023 14:52

You slow down. In this instance, the bus driver didn't, so OP ended up having to do an emergency stop. How would slowing down have created more problems than that?

So what you mean is

When you see someone who is clearly not going to follow the Highway Code, let them pass because they are dangerous and will not care about you/your car because they are bigger.
Even better, just assume any truck/bus will behave that way so let them go first.

Tbf I suspect many of the truck drivers think like this.

Passepartoute · 25/10/2023 15:32

UnevenBalance · 25/10/2023 15:16

So what you mean is

When you see someone who is clearly not going to follow the Highway Code, let them pass because they are dangerous and will not care about you/your car because they are bigger.
Even better, just assume any truck/bus will behave that way so let them go first.

Tbf I suspect many of the truck drivers think like this.

Posters who try to reinterpret what others mean to fit their own agenda invariably get it wrong. To quote another poster, I mean that drivers should have enough awareness of the reality of driving not to ignore hazards around them just because they are in the right. The same would apply if the hazard was a pedestrian ignoring basic road safety rules by walking out into the road without checking.

UnevenBalance · 25/10/2023 15:39

No but they are only a hazard when they start to do stupid things (pedestrian or bus/trucks).

Which is why general assumption that ‘she should have slowed down regardless’ doesn’t work. Because That’s not adjusting to a hazard in the road. It’s changing the way you drive in a way that in itself can be dangerous (eg if the bus then decides to slow down because …. Well that’s what it was supposed to do)

limitedperiodonly · 25/10/2023 15:44

Apparently, there's a driving etiquette rule in Poland where if you want to overtake on a two lane road you just drive confidently down the middle of the road and people going either direction just move out of the way.

@BertieBotts A version of this exists in Britain, or used to when I drove in Harlow, Essex, in 1985. There were roads leading to and from the town centre that were three lanes. The outside lanes were one-way so whichever way you were going, you would drive on the left. The middle one was meant as an optional overtaking lane where you would take the opportunity to pass one or two slow-moving vehicles and then slot in to let the people coming the other way to have their turn. The system was well-intentioned and designed to make it easier in the post-War spirit of New Towns but like much of the Highway Code, depended on courtesy and people behaving themselves or just knowing what to do.

The reality was that turbo nutter Essex bastards in Ford XR3is would put the pedal to the metal and dare all comers in the middle lane.

I'd only just passed my test so never chanced it in my Mini 1000. When I became a more competent driver in a more powerful car I still didn't want to chance it. Life is quite literally too short.

Another white knuckle ride at the time was the Beckton Alps flyover on the A13 in London, E6, between Essex and East London. There was a tidal flow where in the morning both lanes were westbound because that was the way the weight of traffic was going, and about 4pm it was reversed and the two lanes went eastbound.

That was a good idea except people forgot. I worked on a local newspaper round there and there would be accidents every day and some of them were fatal. But it still carried on for a long time until someone in authority realised it was a really stupid idea to let people decide for themselves where to drive and interpret Highway Code rules.

It's the same thing as people on here bleating: "The Highway Code says it's your right of way/priority" and looking at a wrecking crew clearing away the remains of a car that's been hit by a lorry going the wrong way and toppled 30ft off a flyover.

I believe it is now westbound only but I haven't been that way in years and wouldn't be surprised if it had been pulled down or fallen down because it was a rickety thing that looked like it had been built by Alec Guinness in Bridge Over The River Kwai.

Because of my special local newspaper knowledge I never used it and queued at the lights below because it was safer though there was always the fear of falling debris at that junction. We take our chances.

I have to say that Harlow and many other New Towns like Milton Keynes built after the Second World War are brilliant for learning how to negotiate roundabouts. They had loads of roundabouts instead of lights in order to facilitate traffic flow but it only works if you know when to go and it is frustrating when drivers don't understand roundabouts.

But I do and later on I could handle the feared Hangar Lane Gyratory in West London; Hyde Park Corner and Elephant and Castle in south London - all four lanes - with ease. I've never tried Spaghetti Junction in Birmingham but I bet I could do it.

I also like the bit where you merge from the left at 70mph from the M4 to the M5 at Cribbs Causeway going west at Bristol. It is like a ballet and as many times as I've done it, no one has ever got it wrong or slammed on their brakes. Going east is a little easier but that might be because I do it on a Sunday afternoon when traffic is lighter than Friday night. Maybe the OP and some other posters should try it. Or perhaps not.

AmandasFleckerl · 25/10/2023 15:47

One thing that we need to consider is that we have the account from one person in this scenario. I’d personally like the bus driver’s version of events and maybe the driver behind the OP as the OP by her own admission is slightly hysterical about the whole situation.

longtompot · 25/10/2023 16:17

This link is about safe driving for bus drivers, and this is specifically for motorway driving.
https://www.safedrivingforlife.info/advice/bus-driving/develop-your-bus-driving-skills/bus-driving-motorway-dual-carriageway/

  • Check there’s a suitable gap in the left-hand lane. Do not use the size of your vehicle to force your way onto the motorway.
  • You must give priority to traffic already on the motorway: do not force your way into the traffic stream.

Someone else several pages ago posted this link the the AA website justifying the bus going fast to join the main carriageway, missing the sections about how it is the responsibility of the vehicle joining the motorway to join safely.
https://www.theaa.com/driving-advice/fear-of-motorway-driving

Some drivers in lane one (the left hand lane) may move over for you, but you don't assume that all of them will. It's up to you to find a gap and merge, rather than expect people already on the motorway will move out of your way.

  • As you enter the slip road, get an idea of the motorway traffic to help you match your speed. Are there jams? Is the traffic slow moving? If so, slow down accordingly.
  • Try and find a gap with plenty of room to fit your car in. Once you have marked your spot, you may need to accelerate more or slow down slightly to fit in.
  • If the motorway is busy in the left lane, don't panic. Drivers may slow down or change lanes to let you in. However, it's ultimately up to you to safely join the left hand lane.

The reason most accidents happen is because people don't follow the Highway Code rules and do things that are unexpected ie giving way to traffic from a side road to the right and stopping all the traffic on the main route, giving way on roundabouts to name a couple. If everyone follows the rules, then everyone knows what is expected to happen. Obviously be aware of what is happening on the road around you as things happen out of your control (tyre blowouts).

The bus driver should have been driving at a speed they could have safely joined the motorway and not used their larger size to force their way onto it.

limitedperiodonly · 25/10/2023 16:43

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 24/10/2023 22:38

No, you're not great at driving. Your contributions to the thread alone make the case for mandatory retesting every ten years.

@VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia I am a competent driver but would never be arrogant enough to say I am great one and would leave that up to other people to judge. But they'd have to see me doing it. not reading things on Mumsnet they got all frothy about.

If I saw you driving. I might think you were really good or absolute shit.

But I'd have to see you doing it in a practical test rather than raging about something I didn't like on Mumsnet, wouldn't I?

I'd be happy to do a secondary practical driving test as a condition of retaining my licence though I'm not sure how they'd fit in one every 10 years with the backlog of people waiting tor their first ones. What do you suggest?

limitedperiodonly · 25/10/2023 17:04

Merging is a tricky business,

@SirChenjins it is but no more than you should be able to do as a competent driver. That goes for the merger and the mergee who has to think: "Fuck me! He's going to pull out." Or do something else that's against the Highway Code.

rwalker · 25/10/2023 17:24

limitedperiodonly · 25/10/2023 17:04

Merging is a tricky business,

@SirChenjins it is but no more than you should be able to do as a competent driver. That goes for the merger and the mergee who has to think: "Fuck me! He's going to pull out." Or do something else that's against the Highway Code.

When your running out of slip road no one has moved over or slowed down your option are extremely limited .
you can be the most competent driver in the world that won’t make a space for you . it relies on co operation from other drivers

Persimmon23 · 25/10/2023 18:08

AmandasFleckerl · 25/10/2023 15:47

One thing that we need to consider is that we have the account from one person in this scenario. I’d personally like the bus driver’s version of events and maybe the driver behind the OP as the OP by her own admission is slightly hysterical about the whole situation.

Your thinly veiled attempt to insult the OP is quite pathetic tbh. Upset and shaking is extremely different from hysterical. Also, given the fact the bus driver appears to have driven off on his merry way to whatever his destination of- I would doubt he took that near miss under his notice. I very much doubt the OP is the only person who’s been disturbed by his poor road skills.

I seriously worry about some drivers- there was a 6 car accident yesterday in NI because the rules of the roof weren’t followed- no amount I’d defensive driving or awareness stopped that.

OP if you are reading I hope you are all ok?

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