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Original poster

Normal kids behaviour or disrespectful? Annoying either way!

42 replies

MaybeyesMaybenot · 23/10/2023 13:51

Are my expectations are too high? Do I need to be easier going? An example...
10 year old wanted me to take him to the shop to get a chocolate bar. On leaving the house he finds a golf ball in our garden. Tries to kick it at me laughing but misses when he kicks. Twice I say don't that will hurt, backing off, and he kicks it a second at me, this time it goes in the air but misses me. It's not a huge deal and he probably has no idea a golf ball could hurt but I feel weary with behaviour like this. Is this just normal silly kids stuff or disrespectful.

OP posts:
Rinkymcdinky · 23/10/2023 14:09

I would be pretty sharp about that, but then I don't love 'pranks'. I hope you didn't get the chocolate bar!

InDubiousBattle · 23/10/2023 14:14

I don't think it's necessarily abnormal but it's certainly disrespectful. After warning him to stop, kicking the second golf ball would have lost him his chocolate bar and gained him a telling off!

MangoGuavaDelta · 23/10/2023 14:17

Definitely disrespectful. It would be normal to kick it, but it’s abnormal to kick it at you!

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Aquamarine1029 · 23/10/2023 14:19

A 10 year old knows full well that a small, hard ball will hurt you if you get hit with it. You should have dealt with this very, very firmly, and absolutely no chocolate bar.

Reallybadidea · 23/10/2023 14:20

I would have been cross with them and refused to get a chocolate bar

Original poster
MaybeyesMaybenot · 23/10/2023 14:23

He got a telling off.

He been promised the chocolate bar and I figured cancelling that would be disproportionate and a bad start to a couple of days off.

Has continued to be an annoying day though. Just checking I'm not too strict generally!

OP posts:
AllProperTeaIsTheft · 23/10/2023 14:27

Of course he knows a golf ball could hurt - he's 10. I would have been unimpressed. And when he laughed and tried it again, he would have been straight back inside with no trip for a chocolate bar. I hope you didn't still get him one.

rainbowstardrops · 23/10/2023 14:29

He's old enough to know that a golf ball would hurt you. I can understand the desire to kick it but not to kick it at you!
After the first time, I'd have told him to stop and if he did it again then he wouldn't get the chocolate bar. Simple as.

Sirzy · 23/10/2023 14:31

So you rewarded his behaviour. As much as I don’t like to blame parents uou really didn’t help the situation

bathrobeandpie · 23/10/2023 14:31

Of course a 10 yo knows a golf ball hurts.

You are not the parent, are you?

If you are, you are way too soft. Trying to hurt someone is more than enough reason to cancel a chocolate bar.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 23/10/2023 14:31

He been promised the chocolate bar and I figured cancelling that would be disproportionate and a bad start to a couple of days off.

It's just a chocolate bar. How on earth can that be disproportionate?! Of course he's continued to be annoying - he has learned that there are no consequences. Too strict?!

Aquamarine1029 · 23/10/2023 14:33

He been promised the chocolate bar and I figured cancelling that would be disproportionate and a bad start to a couple of days off.

Has continued to be an annoying day though.

Yes, because he didn't have to face any consequences for his very deliberate actions. Him not getting chocolate for repeatedly trying to hit you with a gold ball would not have been disproportionate at all. Sorry, but you have really missed the mark here.

Desecratedcoconut · 23/10/2023 14:35

Jesus, op, you took him to the shops anyway?? Are you always such a door mat?

ActDottie · 23/10/2023 14:36

Definitely disrespectful. And at 10 he should know a golf ball will hurt a lot! They’re pretty solid! And also if he misses you he may get a window instead.

caban · 23/10/2023 14:38

Your expectations are far too low!

Of course he knows kicking a golfball at someone would hurt them.
You told him not to do it.
He tried to hurt you anyway!

That is really, really not normal behaviour.

What do you think would happen if he did that at school? Kicked a golfball at a teacher after being explicitly told not to?
He certainly wouldn't be immediately taken out for a treat.

Orangejuggler · 23/10/2023 14:39

OP - I hear you. Having same battles with my DS of same age.

total PITA - I try to be a nice mum, but lost it today when he kept waving a stick with leaves in my face. I hate having things shoved in my face ( who does? )

Asked him nicely to stop about three times- explained that I hated it, and it wasn’t funny. He did it again, then starts crying when I shout at him. Now I feel like the horrible mum!

you just have to hope that their kids will be just as annoying in future!

gotomomo · 23/10/2023 14:40

He's learned there's no consequences - refusing the chocolate bar would have been proportionate.

Anyway, unless you live in the back of beyond (which I doubt because people living that rurally don't nip out for a chocolate bar) why doesn't he take himself to the shop next time. He's 10, going to secondary next year

Original poster
MaybeyesMaybenot · 23/10/2023 14:43

It's an overpriced celebratory endorsed chocolate bar that he has been waiting to get all week. Only available from one supermarket. (Bought with his own pocket money.)

Well at least I know I'm not too strict. I am definitely usually the no fun strict parent. I'm the parent who restricts treats/buys less stuff etc. It's not fun being that parent.

But I know thats my job, just wanted to be a fun mum for a couple of days.

OP posts:
BrimfulOfMash · 23/10/2023 14:43

The first time he did it I would have said 'Do not do that - you do not kick balls at people'. When he did it again I would have said 'I told you not to do that. We are not going to the shop. Go back inside'.

Then explained calmly that it would hurt to have a golf ball kicked at you and you will not be buying chocolate for someone who is prepared to hurt you.

Do not ask him to do things or leave him to make a choice based on an explanation that it will hurt. Lay down some firm boundaries and expectations. Praise when he does good things.

caban · 23/10/2023 14:44

MaybeyesMaybenot · 23/10/2023 14:43

It's an overpriced celebratory endorsed chocolate bar that he has been waiting to get all week. Only available from one supermarket. (Bought with his own pocket money.)

Well at least I know I'm not too strict. I am definitely usually the no fun strict parent. I'm the parent who restricts treats/buys less stuff etc. It's not fun being that parent.

But I know thats my job, just wanted to be a fun mum for a couple of days.

It's not fun to be treated like shit.

SeptemberSuns · 23/10/2023 14:44

At 10 he would understand it hurts.

I would have not bought the chocolate bar.

Desecratedcoconut · 23/10/2023 14:47

MaybeyesMaybenot · 23/10/2023 14:43

It's an overpriced celebratory endorsed chocolate bar that he has been waiting to get all week. Only available from one supermarket. (Bought with his own pocket money.)

Well at least I know I'm not too strict. I am definitely usually the no fun strict parent. I'm the parent who restricts treats/buys less stuff etc. It's not fun being that parent.

But I know thats my job, just wanted to be a fun mum for a couple of days.

It's a chocolate bar, he's not sleeping under the stairs. Maybe if you get comfortable with him being upset about a chocolate bar then he wouldn't be so naughty in the first place?

bathrobeandpie · 23/10/2023 14:49

MaybeyesMaybenot · 23/10/2023 14:43

It's an overpriced celebratory endorsed chocolate bar that he has been waiting to get all week. Only available from one supermarket. (Bought with his own pocket money.)

Well at least I know I'm not too strict. I am definitely usually the no fun strict parent. I'm the parent who restricts treats/buys less stuff etc. It's not fun being that parent.

But I know thats my job, just wanted to be a fun mum for a couple of days.

what do you mean you are not too strict?

You haven't given him any consequence! That's the opposite of being strict.

You are not doing him any favour at all. If I was seeing that interaction, I would keep my kids well away. I wouldn't them hanging with someone who thinks it's funny throwing golf ball, and doesn't even get told off by their parent!

Aquamarine1029 · 23/10/2023 14:54

Orangejuggler · 23/10/2023 14:39

OP - I hear you. Having same battles with my DS of same age.

total PITA - I try to be a nice mum, but lost it today when he kept waving a stick with leaves in my face. I hate having things shoved in my face ( who does? )

Asked him nicely to stop about three times- explained that I hated it, and it wasn’t funny. He did it again, then starts crying when I shout at him. Now I feel like the horrible mum!

you just have to hope that their kids will be just as annoying in future!

Why allow things to get to the point of shouting at him. You should have told him after the very first time to put the stick down immediately because it's dangerous. If he chooses to refuse to put the stick down, X will happen, and then you follow through. My kids knew from a very early age that when I said to stop, I meant business.

Gremlins101 · 23/10/2023 14:56

I would have also not gone to get the chocolate bar. I wouldn't even tell him off. I'd just tell him, no chocolate bar for you right now, maybe later if you cop yourself on...

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