Normal kids behaviour or disrespectful? Annoying either way!

[MaybeyesMaybenot]

Are my expectations are too high? Do I need to be easier going? An example...
10 year old wanted me to take him to the shop to get a chocolate bar. On leaving the house he finds a golf ball in our garden. Tries to kick it at me laughing but misses when he kicks. Twice I say don't that will hurt, backing off, and he kicks it a second at me, this time it goes in the air but misses me. It's not a huge deal and he probably has no idea a golf ball could hurt but I feel weary with behaviour like this. Is this just normal silly kids stuff or disrespectful.

@bathrobeandpie He did get told off. I have very clearly said he did get told off.

He doesn't have form for hurting me or anyone - but does ignore what I say at times. I found it poor behaviour and wasn't sure what others might think. Probably because I find others, eg, at school birthday parties, are generally more tolerant of boys being rough.

I would simply have taken the ball after the first try.
No shouting or huge telling off. But explaining it can really hurt people (which tbh I’m sure he knows already!)

I don’t think you need to do something very visible (like no treats for you, huge telling iff etc…) to be impactful.
A hard stare, a NO and taking away the ball is just as efficient ime.
Whereas I think a telling off simply gets tuned out, esp if it happens regularly. And a ‘go back inside’ breeds resentment so isn’t conductive to them listening either.

Btw yes you are right. It IS poor behaviour.
And I’d say that especially because he us a boy, I’d want to be sure I’m not letting him get away with ‘rough behaviour’. Well at least I did with mines.

Probably because I find others, eg, at school birthday parties, are generally more tolerant of boys being rough.

Which is why so many boys go off the rails as teens. They've been allowed to be menaces since they were toddlers. Being rough shouldn't be acceptable for anyone, male or female. FGS, raise the bar.

My son would do something like this but he’s about to turn 4. I have to say I really don’t think you should have still got him the chocolate bar - I understand how difficult that is but you could have said that you would go the next day or even later that day if he behaved himself. He could have taken your eye out, or someone else’s. I’m far from perfect with all of this but I’m generally finding that calmly imposed consequences are more effective than a major telling off which just upsets everyone!

He's a kid. It's normal he's ignoring you from time to time.
No need to second guess yourself and not accept it.

If you read this forum, you'll see there's a surprising amount of parents who don't dare saying anything in public, and think it's natural to be stricter in private.
Maybe that's the case.
Maybe others have different parenting, you don't have to agree with them and put up with unreasonable behaviour.

I agree, when they get to that age sometimes a lighter touch can be more effective eg 'I'm disappointed, I thought you knew better than to do that'

At that age, he's definitely old enough to know that a golf ball would hurt. There's no way I would have taken him out to buy chocolate after that - it may have been promised to him, but he needs to be made aware of the consequences of hurting someone deliberately.

Ten-year-old boys are found to be criminally responsible (though I don't agree with that) and you think that your poor little angel doesn't know that a golf ball would really, really hurt?

I work in a school. It's sponge balls only at breaktimes to avoid too many injuries. The juniors certainly understand and know why they have to be sponge.

Not getting the chocolate would have been the perfect consequence for his behaviour.

Well congratulations on being such a perfect mother!

He actually has ADHD and high levels of impulsivity. I’ll make sure that next time I give birth, it will be to a neurotypical child.

If you hadn’t been born a perfect parent, you might have read some of the literature around parenting- NT children present significant challenges, and the techniques used with NT kids don’t work on them.

my DD is a walk in the park. If I’d only had her to parent, I too might wonder what the problem was. But I also realise that children come with various personalities and some are more difficult to manage than others.

The lack of empathy in your response suggests you might not be the wonderful parent you think you are.

I think you are under strict actually! If my 8yo son did that there's no way he'd be getting a chocolate bar. He would never do that tho as I think he knows full well I'd go absolutely apeshit

Calm down. Whether your child is neurotypical or not, if they wave a stick in your face, you take it away. It has nothing to do with being a "perfect parent", 🙄, it's just common sense.

I wouldn't have let him have the chocolate.

where and how is he learning that he can laugh at you and continue to do things that could actually really do serious harm, very serious harm? Does he see that behaviour elsewhere in the home?

Calm down? 😂 is that what you tell your kids? Bet that goes down well.

and ‘common sense’ too? Full house on wanker bingo.

fyi - I wasn’t in a position to take the stick off him. But I’m not going into every detail of the situation. I wasn’t asking for parenting tips- I was sympathising with the OP, because kids can sometimes be challenging ( not yours obvs)