Escape to the Country annoyances.

[DontEscapeToTheCountry]

Why is there a new part where they show them standing on their doorstep chatting like a couple of vagrants?

Why when they show an elderly couple a kitchen or living room that you could host a barn dance in, do they say that it's much too small? What are these people doing in their kitchens that requires so much space?

And why, when they say that they want a 3 bedroom home with no stairs and a small garden, do they show them Chatsworth House?

Jules for me. I can't take the way Alistair moos at the punters. Nor the way Nicky absolutely loves it if she can get one of them to cry. But Ginny and whatshername off Bake Off are OK.

When the presenter suggests they 'go off and explore' after showing them round, and then whispers excitedly into the camera as if they can't hear. We all know they're just waiting outside the room.

A MUSIC ROOM.

All of them needs a music room.

Love this programme and love ruddy-cheeked Jules.
The stilted inserts about local activities are hilarious!

Jules for me. I can't take the way Alistair moos at the punters

Jules puts my teeth on edge. I have no idea why he's so popular.

I saw this thread when it had one post, I thought it would maybe make two posts, who knew there was such interest in ETTC 😂😂. I used to love it, but I think it’s had it’s day.

Why do they all want an open plan kitchen/diner so they can chat to friends and family while they cook (usually the woman)? It's the last thing I'd want to do - stay out!

Also "We want to be able to put our own stamp on it". Huh? You're moving all your stuff in, you're arranging the furniture to your own taste, you're free to redecorate. How can you possibly avoid putting your own stamp on virtually any house you move into?

Yes, sounding grandiose, as if it will be Buckingham Palace.

The alpacas or llamas will also be pressing their noses against the music room window. 🙄

Try YouTube.

Broadband not always flakey in rural areas. I live in a very remote spot but I have full fibre to my door. Friends in towns have worse connections.

Alpacas or Yurts. Sometimes they want land for Yurts so that bankers from the Home Counties can spend a fortnight wearing linen and return to their hunter gatherer roots by checking out the local farm shop for Grissini and a block of local cheese which costs a month’s local wage.

I know

I have open plan kitchen dining space and I long for a kitchen where I can shut the door. I hate people talking when I am cooking and want them to sit in the lounge but inevitably they won't

The cheese to be served with artisan bread washed down with organic milk from the vending machine in a nearby farm's old privy. £6 a pint - bargain.

Not sure about that. I was watching an old episode today featuring a couple who were allegedly desperate to find somewhere quickly but had been trying for ages without success. As the programme went on, you could see exactly why. They approached every property with total cats-bum faces looking for something wrong, and when Phil showed them somewhere that seemed to fit everything on their wishlist they produced several more things that they suddenly decided were essential. They had quite a low budget but wanted to be near their friends who lived in the most expensive part of their search area. Phil kept trying to suggest to them that they were going to have to compromise but they seemed unable to take that possibility on board. I suspect they're still looking to this day, and also that every time the cameras was turned off Phil retired to a corner and screamed.

A Place in the Sun makes me laugh!

They invariably want a 3 bedroom house with 2 bathrooms, swimming pool, short walk from the beach and beautiful views with a budget of 70k

Least they normally buy a house on that show though

Do you mind if I ask whereabouts eg the county?

Good to hear technology is catching up.

I never understand why people enthuse so much about barn and church conversations with two storey-height ceilings. I'd be thinking about the cost of all that heat lost in the rafters, and how on earth do you dust those beams? Or don't you bother?

They nearly always live in a fairly standard 1970s/1980s estate house in Guildford or Reading or similar but when they move to the country they will inexplicably need 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a kitchen the size of a football pitch and 5 acres of land.

One person I saw (with no experience of farming etc) wanted 80 acres. 😳

And yes to the time-wasting bit where they weave baskets or learn badger husbandry.

I'm only there to nose at the houses to pass the time when I'm ironing , I dont want yo see "what there is to do in the area"

Does anyone ever buy those? I'd definitely be worrying about service charges, and I'm put off by the fact that, if you want to pop out to the local shop when you run out of milk, it's a mile walk down the drive before you even get out onto the road.

I'm in the Highlands.

My parents have done similar. Moved several years ago to a house by the coast, believing that it was going to be the place to be, bedrooms for the grandchildren etc. All lovely, but travel is horrendous in every way shape or form April - Oct, so we rarely visit them and instead they visit us as traffic is much better going our way.

Back then, moving to a very desirable area of the south coast, with pretty rubbish local roads, seemed idyllic, the reality is - it isn't

Their plan is to move back sooner rather than later.

No, but it's unlikely the two of them will be using all those rooms. I suspect they will end up closing the doors to quite a few and only using them when they have multiple guests to stay - like a lot of people I know with large houses. Heating will be astronomical in that particular house too. I always wonder what people think they will do with all the extra rooms in very large houses.

Don't be dissing the music, I like it.
I luffs Jules.

When the potential buyers say they hate the place ( not just ETTC but other property shows ) the presenters say " That's a may be then"

As previously mentioned, all the entertaining they think will continue to do with friends several hours drive away. Even if they make new friends locally they will go home rather than sleep over, so no need for 6 bedrooms then.

When older people talk about this being their last move, I always think oh no it wont, you will have to move closer to medical facilities, shops, transport.

I know someone who was on Kirsty and Phil but he was single so he had to bring a friend along to pretend to be his girlfriend. And then he looked really controlling as he seemed to ignore what she said, because of course she wasn’t actually going to be living in the house.

The new presenter Steve really annoys me as he comes across as deeply patronising and can’t read his script properly. He emphasises THE wrong WORDS.