Escape to the Country annoyances.

[DontEscapeToTheCountry]

Why is there a new part where they show them standing on their doorstep chatting like a couple of vagrants?

Why when they show an elderly couple a kitchen or living room that you could host a barn dance in, do they say that it's much too small? What are these people doing in their kitchens that requires so much space?

And why, when they say that they want a 3 bedroom home with no stairs and a small garden, do they show them Chatsworth House?

Or...clean it themselves? 🤔

My gripe with all house shows is ‘a sociable kitchen ‘ , kitchens aren’t sociable or anti social that’s down to the people in the kitchen . I only watch Escape if Alastair is presenting because he’s fantastic.

I’d love to have the confidence of some of the people on it. “Martin and June are looking at houses 300 miles away from their family and friends. They are looking for a house with space to entertain 20 people”

Eh? How many friends are they expecting to immediately make in the new area?

I’d love to have the confidence of some of the people on it. “Martin and June are looking at houses 300 miles away from their family and friends. They are looking for a house with space to entertain 20 people”

Eh? How many friends are they expecting to immediately make in the new area?

I'm convinced that most of them are swingers.

I think there could be a great Escape to the country sequel where couples in their seventies or older realise the ridiculousness of moving to a creaky old farmhouse in the middle of nowhere.

”And on todays ‘Return to the City’ David and Julie are looking for a two bedroom ground floor flat that is on a reliable bus route to a major hospital. Ideally with an M&S food or Waitrose within five minutes walk”

It really should be ‘Escape from London or the home counties’. There is rarely anyone from anywhere else.
And when they say ‘it’s 20,000 under your budget’ when it’s exactly in budget just not top of the budget.
And agree it’s all about not being near poor people. But then that’s what most of MN is like when a poster is asking for suggestions about where to live (or not to live)..
Saying that, a while ago there was an ‘escape to the town’ which was actually quite good. They visited Harrogate I think and found some decently priced properties.

When they show the people the complicated houses that have been on the market for ages because they have sort of flaw - on a road, bad garden etc. Whenever they've been to my areas I see awkward houses on the show. The presenters are very good at glossing over the downsides.

There are never enough "Revisited" type episodes. (and please can we have Wanted Down Under back?)

I also like the lower budget ones and wish we had more of them. Perhaps it's because I don't have silly money but I can't imagine not being able to find a house I liked with 700 grand or more and needing to get the TV show to do it for me.

Something else that irrationally annoys me about ETTC (and I haven’t seen recent episodes so this might have stopped now) is the voiceover at the end that says ‘if you want to escape to the country in England, Wales, Scotland or Northern Ireland…’ - what not just say the UK?! Why list all the countries?!

When you get invested in an episode and the house to find out it's a repeat from 2009 and the £200k house is probably £750k now.

Also you can a great big house but if no one is near enough to visit what is the point

Also you probably think all your problems will disappear but then it's lonely in your beautiful new house with massive kitchen perhaps or if your spouse becomes ill etc

There used to be a programme about people moving back to the UK from Down Under. It was presented by a woman called Catherine who either presented wanted down under or escape to the country.

The locations are always very….wide!

North Yorkshire….in reality 3 hours between the houses shown and very different places.

One ‘never to be forgotten’ episode was a barn conversion in a village. The ‘village’ is on the edge of one of the largest garrisons in Europe.
The ‘village’ school in the top 10% for deprivation, about 60% free school meals.
Beautiful if dated house, but certainly not a rural idyll!

This! They have a huge house and complain about space. Juts get rid of your crap or clean it up from the floor.

Another one is when they run out of renovation money because the room leaks or some shit. Always is the love it or list it script. Why can't they give a lick of paint or change the wallpaper in the rooms they no longer can do? Instead of doing nothing. But still they build bespoke bookshelf that nobody wanted.

Also, I'm assuming moat of the furniture is there just for the reveal and they'll brink back the original ugly yellow sofa and all the clutter.

There was a series I caught during one of the lockdowns called Escape to the Perfect Town, which I found more interesting than ETTC.

I always love watching local editions of Love it or List it, where one doesn’t want to leave her friend and family who live two minutes away, and Phil suggests somewhere 20 minutes away but in reality you can add on another half hour due to the traffic, or he shows them a gorgeous house in a dodgy area.

Always a glass of wine when someone is cooking the dinner

Something else that irrationally annoys me about ETTC (and I haven’t seen recent episodes so this might have stopped now) is the voiceover at the end that says ‘if you want to escape to the country in England, Wales, Scotland or Northern Ireland…’ - what not just say the UK?! Why list all the countries?!

And, as Dave Gorman once pointed out, right at the start, they'll have a few teasers to make you guess where they are this week. They'll say something like:

"This week, we're in a big rural county down in the corner of England with TWO different coastlines and two huge national parks - yet it also has convenient motorway links to the rest of the country. It was once the home of Sir Walter Raleigh and crime writer Agatha Christie. They love their cream teas down here - but make sure you ALWAYS put the cream on your scones first!! Have YOU worked out where we are yet?"

All tension completely spoiled by the fact that the link announcer introduced it with "And now, we're off to Devon to Escape To The Country!"

I’d love to have the confidence of some of the people on it. “Martin and June are looking at houses 300 miles away from their family and friends. They are looking for a house with space to entertain 20 people”

Eh? How many friends are they expecting to immediately make in the new area?

This exactly my issue - who exactly are they inviting round in their new remote location?

I do! It was a lady (Catherine?) with a blonde bob who looked around the houses whilst the potential buyers watched on a laptop, and then chose which house they wanted to view. I loved watching her look around the houses

When they say "Well our top budget is 895k but we could stretch to 1.5m for the right house..."
🤔😆

And (ALWAYS the man) "Let me get the chequebook out".

@ChicoryDip you've reminded me of my two problems with ETTC.

”it ticks all the boxes” and “the house is nestled in [description of rural scene]”

Yeah it was Catherine Gee, with a very posh accent and an awkward presenting style.

Yep, it’s important to establish this. Mainly they’re haunted by the ghosts of previous owners. A moaning sound from the landing in the dead of night which, if you’re brave enough to move closer to the moaning you can pick out the words “I’m sick of this fucking place and I want to move to a Barrett Executive home”. Or the sound of a woman weeping; a white faced apparition holding an annual house insurance/gas/electric/repair bill. That’s what anyone who moves into my house after me will encounter.

I'd actually watch that. It sounds great

They’ve done a series of Escape to the Perfect Town.

I hate it when they are in their 60's and looking for a house 'with some land' but they don't say what they want this land for. I suspect it's just so they can brag about having a house 'with some land' attached to it.