Meals for elderly

[wednamenov]

I'm visiting an elderly relative and I want to stock her freezer with easy to defrost single portion items. All from Lidl.

We don't think she eats on her own. She's very unsteady so cooking is difficult. She does get meals on wheels but we think she tries to make them go further than they should. So emphasis is on easy single portions.

So far I'm making batches of soup but I'm only here for two days so I need to think about getting ready made stuff in. There's a Lidl near by which is easiest for me to get to.

She says their ready meals are too big for her.

I've bought chicken and mushroom slices, and pepper steak slices (I plan to freeze these in individual freezer bags). I've got a bag of madeleines and pain au chocolate (can these be frozen in the individually sealed bags they already come in)?Just for occasional treats.

Any other suggestions very welcome.

It's good news if she likes Wiltshire Foods! My DGM had them and really liked them. I think she cooked them from frozen in the microwave. My DGM also always ate better with company and she had a sweet carer who would eat fish and chips with her once a week.

As another poster said maybe her son's could fund a companion for her?

No ... I'll look into this. Thank you. I had no idea such a thing existed.

Thank you. I'll ask.

I did not know this either. I'll mention it to her. (Obvious exceptions being the salads that come frozen too!)

This is why people are suggesting a social care assessment. I am recently disabled and trying to leave my marriage so I was referred to Occ Health via GP to look at aids. A perching stool was the very first thing they suggested, then cooking suggestions, then bathing aids. Please contact them.

I'm not here long enough, and I don't live in Ireland. But I am aware she's going through some kind of assessment and her sons have asked me to ferry her to appointments wrt that on Monday. I'd be incredibly surprised if her boys haven't already explored all possible avenues for her. They are completely devoted to her. But I will ask.

@Thistlelass She is so lonely. It breaks our hearts.

Mini ice cream tubs: already portioned, high in calories, are always a treat.
My MIL struggles to eat much at all and has little appetite but will never refuse a scoop or two of good ice cream. Also they can accompany whatever fruit she is getting delivered.

Is her cooker free standing or in the wall. If she is wobbly she isn't going to have the strength to bend down, open the oven door of of free standing oven, slide something in, then safely slide something very hot out of the oven.

If it's in the wall it likely isn't the correct height for a frail person.

Same with the microwave. Does she have to reach up to get to it?

You can have all the ready made portions you want but if she feels too unsteady to cook it, she won't.

Pukka pies do microwave pies that only take 4 mins and crispy. I uses to get them for a relative.

Can you get to an M&S? As DM’s appetitediminished great success with M&S microwaveable children’s meals. Quite a big range, pastas, cottage pie, fish pie, chicken curry etc. You may need to add a little more seasoning, but they are nutritious, tasty and the portions are small - also tiny pizzas.

Forgot to say above, most are freezabletoo

How often do her sons visit? It might require someone being there in person for some time to get her sorted out.

are you going to the assessment with her? it’s invaluable to have a second pair of ears present - and to know if the older person is representing the situation realistically.

though if she has to physically go somewhere for it, I don’t think it can be a care needs assessment as they usually take place at home so that the suitability of the Sleeping / eating / washing / toileting facilities can be assessed. Do you know what the assessment is for?

Cook foods are this price. Andthey aren’t full
of adiditives

It sounds to me that assessment should show that she have a daily hot meal delivered
I've never seen a Wiltshire farm meal containing salad
A carer from a regulated company wont be able to fill weekly dosset boxes (rules in Ireland may be different tho)

They might be devoted and heartbroken but with respect that’s all about them and not about her needs. Could she move over to live in supported housing nearer you , does she have much actual contact with her community? The thing I’ve had to come to terms with is that this situation is not going to get better, with every month her needs will increase so it’s not really about the here and now it’s about what’s going to happen over the winter . If finances are not an option you consider a live in carer or at this stage a companion.

we found a local meals service run by a local farmers wife who made much more tasty and appealing meals and would go half sizes. It also meant that someone was calling in every day .

My dm used to use her a little counter top oven. It’s at the right height, and you can just slide the meal out into the counter.

I definitely saw a frozen coleslaw in her freezer. She said it came like that.

I've got one of those. I might try bring it back when I visit next. Very good idea.

I will be going with her to the assessment. She has already had an occupational assessment in the house, and pointed out various aids they'd given her. This assessment is a medical one about trying to get a special visa so she go stay for long visits with one of her sons.

Between her three sons and their wives, six visits this year. They try to spread them out so she always has a visit to look forward to and not too much time alone in between. I've been three times this year.

They are entirely focussed on her, not themselves. Visit as often as they can, each phones her every single day, family zoom every week, all have done everything they can to get her to move to them but her complex medical needs mean her healthcare costs in the USA would be prohibitively expensive - unaffordably so. In Ireland she has medical support. They are still trying to find a way. I can't fault them at all. They are also trying to move her into a care home if she can't join them but there's a waiting list.

Can you increase the number of days she has meals on wheels? It’s not unusual for older people to have a decrease in appetite, especially if they’re depressed.

We did that today. I've been splitting her favourite meals into single portions for her E.g. half portion curry, half Naan, a single samosa, half portion rice frozen flat in small bags, then grouped in grab bags for a meal. She's confident she can manage those, and thrilled. She thought she couldn't buy those anymore because of the space they take in the freezer. She'll still only be able to get them when someone visits though because it's a trip.

Unfortunately not. It's max of three a week.

Is there an online delivery option there?

Tbh individual yogurts, some berries or banana (no cutting or prep needed) and some yogurt sound ideal for breakfast. No need for cooking.

Lunch - sandwich fine. Pre sliced cheese or pre sliced chicken for it. Fruit again if she likes. Mini custards/ yogurt/ ice cream.
Fridge ready made soups - each one of good for two portions, if she’s comfortable with microwave.

In uk m and s/ Sainsburys/ Tesco all do some, see what’s in Ireland. But someone could do online shop with her each week via FaceTime if needed. Add basics like milk etc, and ask her what flavours, what berries etc she wants.

For dinner I would just up meals on wheels to every day. Or have carer in every evening to heat up a ready meal from supermarket. But if sounds like she can’t really prep anything very safely.
Supermarkets online usually have those pre prepped bags of veg also though if she wants say ready meal fish pie with extra veg.