If you work in pre-school childcare, what are your bugbears in children/parents?

[GlitteryGreen]

Just out of interest really as my 13mo little girl started nursery recently. She's usually breastfed to sleep and cosleeps at night, both of which I had to put on her entry forms, so I was concerned the nursery would find her a nightmare to get down.

Just wondering if there's anything you see in children that start which makes you think arghh nooo?!

"Does your child settle without being fed to sleep? Because if not then that's not fair on the nursery staff."

Wow. Sorry but a professional finds a way to manage this. To use childcare as pressure to stop is unfair on the child and mother, not the other way around.

In answer to OP's question, it's the parents that insist their child wears numerous layers when its unnecessary, especially when they're running around.

Yes, please put your child's name on everything! Clothes, wellies, lunchboxes (including all the individual tubs and lids inside) no need for fancy name stickers, a sharpie will do..... and if you've forgotten to name things despite polite reminders, please don't be annoyed at us if we do it.(we're really not doing it to annoy you, but especially with the lunchboxes if there are children with allergies we have to be certain that each child gets their own stuff, or doesn't accidentally drink from the wrong one of 7 identical bluey bottles containing squash instead of water)

Check their bag daily in case anything needs to be restocked.... nothing worse than going to change a child and finding half a dozen tshirts but no trousers, oh and don't forget socks 😉

Be kind.... understand that the staff are stretched to the limit and for the most part, doing their best. We're not in this job for the glamour or the money (😂) but because we love it and are dedicated to child development.

Be kind to fellow parents and other children. Understand that the behaviour a child does towards your child this week, could well be done by your child next week. All usually very normal for their age and stage of development.

Keep open communication with us....about anything! We really are here to help and working in partnership with parents is the best way to ensure positive experiences and outcomes for everyone.

Interesting to see about dungarees here...I never put her in them because I find them such a pain myself, BUT I HATE poppers! I'd much rather whip off a pair of leggings/joggers than have to do up poppers, my baby won't stay still long enough.

@GlitteryGreen I think if it was one child it wouldn't be too bad but when you are changing numerous children you just want it to be as easy as possible x

I work with 3 year olds so older than yours but:

1. Lace up shoes on children who aren't able to do them up, or even try doing it themselves. I can't interact with / safely supervise the children if I'm regularly having to re tie your DC's shoes.

1. Unnamed clothes and shoes. We are a pre-school attached to a school, so everyone has the same logo jumper. How do parents expect us to know which one belongs to who? Also water bottles and bags - several children have exactly the same ones and go home with the wrong one (I don't actually like the uniform jumper rule at this age, but it is a rule all parents accept when they sign up.)

1. Lateness. Particularly regular lateness or with no apology / reasonable excuse like a rta meaning bus routes changed suddenly. If you are late to pick up from the morning session, you are eating into my unpaid lunchbreak. If you are late in the afternoon (we are paid to be there for about 15 minutes after the afternoon session finishes), I can't leave the room to prep resources, tidy up, have meetings with colleagues about confidential matters etc.

My bugbears...

parents not labelling their child's clothes/ shoes/ wellies/ bag. I echo other posters label everything including shoes / welly boots and comforters!

parents, who don't want their child's clothes to get messy. Nursery activities are messy that's part of the fun and learning. Please send your child in clothes that you do not mind getting messy with paint, mud, wet sand , water, PVA glue.

please provide your child with a named fully waterproof warm winter coat, especially in pre school. We are outside in all winds and weathers. Waterproof trousers named would be an added bonus . Two piece waterproofs are better than all in one puddle suits.

Bringing toys in from home- comforters are fine for sleep, but please name all muzzy"s, jelly cat toys, blankets and dummies. Other toys cause no end of squabbles and upset with the group because they all want to play with the same from home time at the same time.

please arrive on time to pick your child up (bearing an emergency situation) if your nursery closes at 18:30 and you arrive at 18:30 or later do not expect a detailed handover from me regarding your child's day! I have been at work from 07:30 and want to get home too! So does my colleague that has had to stay with me doing (usually unpaid ) over time. Two members of staff are required to stay on the premises if parents do not pick up on time!

Bags/ please do not put money, keys, snacks or calpol in your child's bag. Most nurseries are nut- free.so finding a Nutella sandwich in a child's bag is problematic!

Lack of respect and common courtesy. We do not just play alll day. It is non- stop, fun, stressful at times and rewarding for 11 hours a day 4/5 days a week! We aren't magic we are human too!

I work from home as a childminder.
(Babies currently asleep so have surfing for a few mins).

Being late to collect is a big one. I work from 8am to 6pm but some children come in shorter days than that. Sometimes the parents think that cos I'm home anyway & have other children here they can come late. That is not the case. I have a routine based around who's here & not here etc. Plus even the child going home at 6pm, parents seem to think cos I'm in my own home then it's fine. I do other things in the evenings so just cos I'm home doesn't mean I'm doing nothing else after work. By the same token, parents who's child doesn't start til later in the day arriving early cos they know I've other kids here early. I've had to say it to a few parents over the years. Obviously there's exceptions. I don't mind the odd lateness due to traffic or emergency.

Parents who don't discipline their child. A lot of kids will behave for me fine but once mammy or daddy is at the door they go wild & start punching & kicking their parents & kicking up a tantrum. I don't know if parents are embarrassed or just don't discipline but they usually stand there smiling at me & letting the child continue. I'd think more of them if they got very stern with the children & actually gave out to them. Ive often stepped in myself & said it which I'm sure parents don't like but I really don't like seeing a child hurt their parents.

Mostly everything else is fine. I have spare hats & coats & scarves & gloves so I'm never bothered if they forget them.

Currently I have the nicest lot of parents I've ever had so I'm very lucky cos I've had some doozies over the years.

@bugaboo218 don’t the children wear aprons, though?

I have to admit being a bit surprised at HOW messy DS was after a crèche session. He wasn’t wearing anything fancy but still, I was taken by surprise a bit! He paints and does things at nursery but they must protect them well as he’s never come back in a state.

@bugaboo218 Are there any particular brands of waterproofs that are particularly good?

I was a nursery nurse many years ago and parents are the majority reason of why I quit.
My one tip would be, if the caregiver tells you, however nice and politely, that your child has behaved horrifically .... Believe them and for gods sake do not say "But my lovely little Johnny would never do that!?" because Johnny did do that, 100%

@PenguinRainbows

yes, we encourage the wearing of aprons, but we cannot force any child to wear an apron. Nor can we exclude any child from any messy or sensory activities because they refuse to wear an apron.

Primark, charity or vinted really are your best bet when it comes to clothes for nursery. Please do not spend ££££ on nursery clothes because it will get absolutely trashed. ( it means your child is learning and engaging with their activities in nursery)

just label every item of clothing, shoes, wellies, gloves, mittens and hats.

please do not bring spare clothes in in a carrier (plastic ) bag and leave on your child's peg. There is a risk of suffocation and most nurseries participate in eco -schools.

My child’s clothes have never been trashed at nursery!

I accept the odd spillage but ‘trashed’, seriously?!

@PenguinRainbows

i would always say buy the best quality waterproofs and wellies your budget allows for your child at nursery.

At my nursery we go out even in moderate rain (the only time we do not is if there is thunder or lightning or the wind or uv levels are too high we monitor this daily)

We also operate a free-flow system, which means a pre schooler can go in and out all day long (except meal or nap times) if they wish- so they could be in their waterproofs, coats and wellies for most of the day .

i would recommend going to an outdoor type shop either in person or online to buy. In my experience the cheaper supermarket versions you can buy do not stand up to the elements fully. They are more water resistant than fully water proof .

Finally always buy and age bigger ( as long as there are no gaps) your child needs to be able to move comfortably with their coat, jumper and thick trousers on under their waterproofs.

A waterproof named drawstring bag is always useful too, The large ziplock bags (named) are useful for keeping wet (water or a wee accident) clothes in. Hand any ziplock bags over to the nursery staff.

Dont forget to pack thick welly socks x 3 named pairs and at least 2-3 spare complete old sets of named dry clothes inc pants, socks and vests for when we come in out of the rain!

I’m sure that professionals can find a way to get a baby to sleep it’s not like OP expects them to dry nurse her baby to sleep !!!

@bugaboo218 That’s so helpful! Thank you 😊

Belongings that aren’t labelled
Bringing nuts into nut free pre-school (despite being aware of a child’s life threatening allergy!)
Ignoring the settings rules on exclusions for illness
Arguing with staff when they uphold the settings policies and procedures (that they agreed to when they signed their child up 🤦🏼‍♀️)
Dirty lunch boxes and mouldy drinks bottles
Turning up to collect their child with their head in their phone, not even acknowledging their child.

I think I need a career change !!

I love it when parents/main care givers are polite and friendly, make an effort with their children, and work in partnership with us. I’m a working parent so I understand how hard it is and I do everything I can to ensure the children in my care are happy, healthy and thriving.

They must really hate us then 😂

• lace up ankle boots (medical need and velcro doesn't provide enough support)
• pull ups - she's 4 but not continent (medical again) so pull ups are more grown up
• we are rubbish at naming things - partly as we just aren't that fussed if something gets lost and partly because we like to pass things on and it's more difficult if named. Its also pretty obvious which things are hers as she wears a much smaller size from her peers. But I totally accept it's my own fault if things get lost.

In older children (3+) developing a sense of independence is also really important for when they go to pre school and transition to reception.
The ratio of children to adults is either 1:13 or 1:8 depending on the qualifications of staff. So encouraging your child to put on their own coat, and shoes (avoid laces, or buttoned coats, chunky zips on coats are much easier, Velcro shoes) pulling down their own bottoms when using the toilet etc makes that transition a lot easier.

oh and don't forget socks
You know what, I never think of putting spare socks in. Going in now!! Thank you.

It might not make it easy for the workers but ultimately bf to minimum age 2 is recommended by WHO guidance and Co sleeping which in itself leads to feeding to sleep is proven to promote and prolong a mothers ability to bf. I'd like to think that anyone working in early years is understanding and appreciative of the benefits of bf and would do what they can to support and work with this because of those benefits. It's very disappointing to see that being viewed as a nuisance when it's a difficult enough journey for many women as it is. No wonder bf rates in the UK are among the lowest in the world with approaches like that. I wonder how nurseries in other countries with much higher rates of bf manage.

As someone who worked in a nursery I discovered that staff will judge parents for just about anything and everything and will be very vocal about it amongst themselves. However they also bitch about each other all day long too. Having said that, there are things that are genuinely annoying like parents sending children in with inappropriate clothing/footwear for the weather or not enough clothing changes. Putting babies in pull ups -nappies are much better until they start potty training, and asking you to stop a baby from napping who very evidently still needs to nap, to name a few.

My issue isn't with parents doing it, completely their choice and I support it, the point I'm making is don't kid yourself that your child is suddenly amazing at self settling with a new person in a new environment and doing it all without any distress whatsoever. This idea that we have to be professional (we are) and just 'make it happen' is a little weird.

My biggest bug bear when I was childminding was parents not providing appropriate clothing, one family even tried to tell me I had to cancel my plans of play group for the day s there little one was too poorly to mix and need to stay at home at mine to recover and sleep. lol they were very surprised when I said no if to I'll to go out then to I'll for here and sent her home

Definitely label things!

My bugbear is a parent believing what their four year old says and taking it as absolute fact. Coming in all guns blazing and usually finishing off with "I know it's true because my Jane doesn't lie!"

Work in a Pre school and already been said but no name in clothee! Especially when they have similar items or it gets to winter and have hats etc with no names..

Bringing in toys that don't want to get lost..then complain when do get lost or causes issues. They usually go away till home anyway.

Sending children in on calpol when actually poorly and saying nothing...