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Original poster

I'm a counsellor-if you were my client, how bad would this be?

117 replies

Counseller · 16/10/2023 19:11

I was talking to a client, video call, from my sitting room. I have an office but often work from the sitting room if I am doing online sessions. I live alone so it isn't a problem

My dog walker brought my dog back early. I didn't expect this, my client wouldn't have even known about it if I was sitting somewhere different but they'd have seen the door open and the walker take the dog's lead off and the dog come in. Dog walker didn't come in-never does after a walk as the lead hangs up right next to the door.

This is a long-term client who is very comfortable with me. I apologised-dog walker didn't do anything other than literally drop the dog off so it was a few seconds at most, I paused the session and I gave her a couple of minutes longer, she did not seem at all bothered about it.

If you were my client, how bad would you think this would be? I am confident they weren't at all perturbed by it but I feel it was so unprofessional! Nothing like this has happened before.

OP posts:
Jewelspun · 16/10/2023 20:06
%3D%3D
jays · 16/10/2023 20:07

Wouldn’t even give it a thought X

Jewelspun · 16/10/2023 20:09

My favourite -

Nowherenew · 16/10/2023 20:09

ActDottie · 16/10/2023 19:56

I don’t know… a massive thing about therapy is confidentiality and feeling like you’re in a space you can talk.

Some people may feel ok with this but some people would feel this breaches the safe space they thought they had. Depends on the client.

Tbh I’d be upset by it particularly if I was talking about something deep at the time.

In future I would use your office space.

I completely agree.

This person is paying for 100% of your attention and privacy/confidentiality.

You were not giving her this and I wouldn’t feel the space was as safe as I previously thought.

Apologise and tell them you muted them straight away and that you will only use your office from now on.

I think using your office is best anyway.
Then you can properly switch off when you leave the room.

Original poster
Counseller · 16/10/2023 20:10

@overwhelmed2023 my fees are significantly lower for online. Some people do prefer it too although when covid first hit and it became more of a thing, I was in the main, horrified! I didn't even understand how it could really fully work. It's the norm now. I have significantly fewer 'none attendees' too now I am mostly online.

OP posts:
whereisthecheese · 16/10/2023 20:10

Sorry it would bother me, I would feel like anyone could walk into our session. But also it would bother me that you'd then posted on mumsnet about it rather than taken it to private supervision.

But if you're client said they're fine then I'll assume they are and surely that's what matters

WhitewitchYorkshire · 16/10/2023 20:10

You are obviously a very conscientious person.. I have had online therapy and this wouldn’t bother me at all. Life goes on and the dog needs walking!

Jewelspun · 16/10/2023 20:10
Doingmybest12 · 16/10/2023 20:13

For me it would depend on how you usually conduct yourself, of this was another thing on top of a string of other irritations I wouldn't be impressed. Or if it really disrupted the flow I might feel annoyed. But if you are generally professional etc it's one of those things I eoild think. Something to avoid in thr future though.

Original poster
Counseller · 16/10/2023 20:14

@Jewelspun oh my god that is HILARIOUS and made me feel a lot better, thank you! It's the woman laying on the floor closing the door at the end! Grin

Thank you for everyone's opinions. I will definitely have another talk to my client.

OP posts:
Nowherenew · 16/10/2023 20:20

I think during lockdown when lots of people were thrown into WFH then it was more acceptable to make mistakes but now these things shouldn’t really be happening.

As a PP said, your response would determine whether I continued to carry on seeing you.

If you played it down as just one of those things and didn’t make sure it didn’t happen again, then I’d be annoyed.

If you apologised, accepted that it was completely unacceptable and worked only from the office space to make sure it didn’t happen again, then I’d give you a second chance.

Original poster
Counseller · 16/10/2023 20:28

I won't let it happen again most definitely. I'll always lock the outside door and speak to the walker. Dog wasn't due back for at least 10 minutes after the client session wouldn't been done.

OP posts:
MargaretThursday · 16/10/2023 20:41

I think it would depend on what I was saying at the time.

If I was talking calmly about things that didn't effect me too badly, then I'd probably think it was funny.
If I was distressed, talking about deeply personal things then I'd probably shut down on you, and not open up again. I'd always be wondering if someone was going to walk in.

I've a couple of friends doing counselling at the moment, and they're both very emotionally vulnerable, and I think with both of them they'd probably cancel tomorrow and not come back. They took a long time to work up to coming, and that would just finish it.

CurlewKate · 16/10/2023 20:46

"This wouldn't bother me at all! I think I'd quite enjoy the quick glimpse into the therapist's life TBH."

I'm afraid this is what makes it a little unprofessional-it's not something that should happen.

@Counseller I think you should blur your background. And maybe mention the incident to your supervisor? To set your mind at rest.

Fercullen · 16/10/2023 21:01

If I was the client and I was on MN I’d be more bothered about the fact that you’re posting publicly about their session! I think that’s quite unprofessional. Maybe take it to supervision?

overwhelmed2023 · 16/10/2023 21:10

Counseller · 16/10/2023 20:10

@overwhelmed2023 my fees are significantly lower for online. Some people do prefer it too although when covid first hit and it became more of a thing, I was in the main, horrified! I didn't even understand how it could really fully work. It's the norm now. I have significantly fewer 'none attendees' too now I am mostly online.

Yes but fees didn't go down when it switched to online just now fees are higher face to face.
It's easier and quicker but don't think it's as good.

SharonTheHappySquirrel · 16/10/2023 21:37

Fercullen · 16/10/2023 21:01

If I was the client and I was on MN I’d be more bothered about the fact that you’re posting publicly about their session! I think that’s quite unprofessional. Maybe take it to supervision?

Oh come on, she’s hardly come on and posted “today I was taking to Sandra Smith who lives in Yellow Road, Bristol all about her traumatic childhood where XYZ happened” there’s literally no detail in any of the posts 🙄

KilgoreTrouts · 16/10/2023 22:21

I agree with @off ’s posts. I think many of the people chirping blithely about how it wouldn’t have bothered them, or they’d have been delighted to see the dog, are probably not people who’ve had therapy for seriously traumatising stuff. If I were talking about being sexually assaulted aged nine, I would be horrified that my therapist had not ensured a continuous safe space, and worry that I’d been unaware of her casualness towards my privacy in previous sessions. I wouldn’t have trusted her again, easily, if she hadn’t seemed concerned.

OP, do bring it up at the next session, and make your client aware of how one-off it was. And make your dog-walker aware it can’t happen again.

theduchessofspork · 16/10/2023 22:24

It’s fine.

You apologised, she wasn’t bothered anyway.

Just shut the door next time

newamsterdam · 16/10/2023 22:26

Kam610 · 16/10/2023 19:13

I think you're over thinking it. It's not like the dog walker interrupted you and had a chat, taking away attention from your client. If your client knows that you were working from home then things like this can happen. If you were working in an office you could have been disturbed by other co-workers. If she didn't seem fussed about it then I would just forget about it.

This spectacularly misses the point! What kind of counsellor would do their sessions from an office, full of other people?

The entire premise of a counselling session is that it is PRIVATE. Of course it would bother most people if a complete stranger wanders in to their counselling session and can over hear private, personal and possibly difficult conversations.

I would not be at all happy if you were counselling me and someone just walked into the room, whether the session is virtual or not.

Amazing how many people can't imagine the issue here!

theduchessofspork · 16/10/2023 22:26

Fercullen · 16/10/2023 21:01

If I was the client and I was on MN I’d be more bothered about the fact that you’re posting publicly about their session! I think that’s quite unprofessional. Maybe take it to supervision?

She’s not posting about the session, she’s posting about being interrupted by her dog walker

theduchessofspork · 16/10/2023 22:28

newamsterdam · 16/10/2023 22:26

This spectacularly misses the point! What kind of counsellor would do their sessions from an office, full of other people?

The entire premise of a counselling session is that it is PRIVATE. Of course it would bother most people if a complete stranger wanders in to their counselling session and can over hear private, personal and possibly difficult conversations.

I would not be at all happy if you were counselling me and someone just walked into the room, whether the session is virtual or not.

Amazing how many people can't imagine the issue here!

Show quote history

Sure but the client wasn’t bothered, and the OP did apologise.

Of course the client might have been bothered, but luckily this one wasn’t. So..

Original poster
Counseller · 16/10/2023 22:33

I don't expect people to read all my posts, but walker didn't hear anything as I heard the door open and stopped, apologised and by the time I'd explained my walker was just returning the dog, walker had disappeared, it was literally a matter of a few seconds, door open, lead hung up, gone.

It's not the same room, but my house is quite open-plan-a 'doorway' to that room if you will, not a wide one but it is a different room.

I wear noise cancelling headphones, walker didn't hear anything.
Not dismissing your other concerns of course-I realise it shouldn't have happened hence the thread (which discloses nothing at all about the client nor the session itself).

OP posts:
newamsterdam · 16/10/2023 22:34

theduchessofspork · 16/10/2023 22:28

Sure but the client wasn’t bothered, and the OP did apologise.

Of course the client might have been bothered, but luckily this one wasn’t. So..

Show quote history

Client saying they are not bothered does not meant they are not bothered.

KindLynx · 16/10/2023 22:42

My therapist recently had to mute to answer her door. It's never happened before or since and it didn't bother me in the slightest.

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