How is the current conflict affecting you?

[TheGruffalochild]

This thread is intended to be a safe space to talk about how you are impacted by the current conflict. May be wishful thinking- but it isn’t supposed to be a place to take sides, place blame, or use inflammatory language. Nor is my intention to fill a thread with links to historical information and YouTube videos arguing either side.
Im just starting this thread because I’m feeling my mental health deteriorate from seeing and reading about so many scenes of violence on the news/social media. Of course all victims on both sides have suffered something unimaginable and I can’t even imagine how their pain compares to my discomfort. But I’d like to exchange on how every day people are affected and have a space for mumsnetters to support one another.
I know some have posted they’re waking in the night thinking about the events. I’m experiencing something similar - there is some broken scaffolding outside my home that rattles when it’s windy. The other night I initially woke with visions of someone firing at my house then realized it was just clanking bits of metal.

Please don’t take this the wrong way. I know how privileged I am to be safe in my home with all my loved ones around me. I know I could turn off the news - it will happen with or without me watching live updates. I’m so irrelevant in all of this. Yet at the same time I feel obliged not to look away from such massive and meaningless loss of life.

I’m worried about my kids at school - they have already experienced anti-semitism.
I feel very conflicted in that I feel a desperate need to cling to my faith but at the same time scared of being Jewish
I feel sad and helpless about all the suffering

@Feelingsad12 im sorry your kids have experienced that. Are they old enough to understand what’s going on/have a lot of questions?
I hope the government is doing everything they can to make sure their school is safe.

I feel worried there will be ructions at my son's school. Earlier I was waiting for him as we were off somewhere after school and a huge of year 8s/9s came out throwing sticks and chanting "Palestine". There were probably 20 of them. It felt very uncomfortable. One boy had a Palestinian flag

There's a Jewish primary school less than 2 minutes walk away from where we were and they've had police at the gates all week morning and afternoon.

I feel absolutely heartbroken about what's happening to the poor people caught up in both sides but I'm very uneasy with the situation developing on my doorstep.

I've told DS not to get involved

I'm still concerned about Ukraine too. We have refugees with us and it's so sad when they translate the Ukranian news reports for us

Good question. I am not jewish nor muslim but I have friends from both sides. I am scared and somehow disappointed at human as a race. I felt that collectively we lost our humanity and the future is bleak.
Sorry for the pessimistic tone....

I live in the region so I'm certainly keeping an eye on what's happening.

I can't bear to look at the footage of fleeing Gazans and the poor donkeys. Then think of all the pets that have been left behind and the hospital patients and neonatal babies who can't flee. Pregnant women. People trapped at a closed border hoping someone will help them. Families of hostages who perhaps have no idea if their loved ones are alive or dead. Female hostages being held by awful men.

I despair of mankind mostly.

@ForThisPost1 don't worry, most of us share the pessimism.
I try and balance it with hope, someone posted on MN the other day that although as a country the UK has sort of given up on state religion; we do generally bumble along by a casual moral code that generally means most people get along, most of the time.

@cottonwoolbrain that must be frightening to have that going on so close to you. I imagine a police presence can be alarming, but it’s hopefully a sign they are taking the risk seriously. We are used to a police presence because we are not in the UK and there are always police outside of the synagogue, regardless of the conflict. It is opposite the local playground where we take the kids after school/kindergarten. I’ve asked dh not to take the kids to that playground right now.
@ForThisPost1 that’s exactly how I’m feeling. It’s hard to be positive right now. I’m trying to find a way to express peace and compassion because that’s the only way I see the average person can make a difference. Everything else seems so out of control.

I’m neither Jewish nor Muslim but I feel very sad (for everyone) tbh, it’s this slight gnawing at the edge of my mind. Not in a political sense more of a human tragedy and waste of life way. Especially all the kids.

I read that 80% of kibbutz based victims had been tortured today, thats including the children (it was sky news). Made me feel utter despair that anyone would look at a child and think of ways to hurt them and then actually be able to inflict it. Children as collateral damage in airstrikes as well, just awful.

I’m going to step away from it for a while.

I’m distraught. I’m Palestinian by descent (albeit Christian not Muslim) and I am horrified by what is happening all round.

I’m also upset by the partisan discourse. I’m ashamed at seeing people at the pro-Palestine marches making anti-Semitic chants. I’m devastated at people who dismiss what is happening to the Palestinians in Gaza as Israel defending itself/well whatever because it’s Hamas’ fault anyway.

I’m very concerned about the steep rise of anti-semitism in the UK recently and cannot believe Jewish people feel unsafe in 2023. Shameful.

I’m praying at least some of the hostages get released as I can’t see any other prospect of any good news.

I’m basically heartbroken about the whole thing.

edit to include missing word

Edited to remove clarification to last post which I’ve now edited (sorry!)

Thank you for starting this thread.

I’m basically heartbroken about the whole thing

Me too.

And me.

Was talking to a classmate (exercise class) today who has family in Israel. She is heartbroken, feeling physically sick, distracted, frightened. All I can do is listen and give her a hug. I feel so tiny and powerless.

I also, personally, don't feel like I can mention it to anyone, because it's so complicated and so divisive. Was also talking to another classmate, with whom I have an amiable relationship, and we ended up, not arguing exactly, but almost. It makes friendships very very difficult.

I'm also horrified at it happening when the world was supposed to have said 'never again' not so long ago.

My dh is a counselor for refugees - the majority of his clients are Ukrainian but before that he clients from Syria, Afghanistan, and so many other countries. He’s used to hearing horrible things every day and so is just functioning normally and matter of fact about it. In a way that’s positive, because someone in our household has to compensate for the fact that my head isn’t fully there, keeps drifting back to the images and reports of the victims.
But it also means Im kind of just drifting around with nobody to talk to. Like @MarkWithaC i don’t want to discuss with friends or colleagues because of the potential to damage relationships when opinions differ. I’ve joined a few threads that turned into fights and got taken down.

Does anyone have any ways of feeling more solidarity and connection with others right now? I think this thread is already helping.

Aside from the horror and death, there’s this mist developing that people can’t talk to each other, and I think that scares me too.

I haven't slept properly since last Saturday, and nor has DH.

Our sukkah (temporary dwelling we use for the Jewish festival of sukkot) is still up. We can't bring ourselves to take it down. In some of the footage from the kibbutzim that were attacked, their sukkahs were still up, still decorated.

Every day we wait for news of our family friend who is a hostage. For news from our friends who have gone over to Israel to serve in the army.

Every day I put my toddler and baby to sleep thanking G-d that I have them.

Every night I dream that mobs are outside our window trying to get in.

Every day I worry that my daughter's school will be targeted.

I check my phone to see if perhaps my non-Jewish friends have been in touch, only to see that they haven't, and realising that these lifelong friendships have been a sham.

I cry all the time, thinking about the desperation of the situation.

I feel that we keep (in the last few years) having these events (pandemic/Ukraine/Israel/COLC) which seem to really shake the fabric of our lives.

I usually let things slide over my head when the news gets too much, but it's getting harder to do. It's getting more often.

@PurpleChrayne - This broke my heart especially the part about checking if non-Jewish friends texted. I messaged my Jewish friend after learning about the attack as I know she has family and friends in Israel. It was a simple text - just what we would send to our friends in crisis. But I was surprised how appreciative she was as if she was shocked to have non Jewish friends checking on her and wishing her well.
Reading your post made me understand it now. Very sad ...
Wish you all the best and hope as a human race, we can all survive this...

I'm concerned about the people I speak to in Israel through work. I need some urgent information but haven't been able to get a response.

(Just to clarify I don't care about the info I need, I'm just concerned about them as they are usually quick to reply)

I also dispair at mankind. Where will it all end?

I’m hoping hard for a diplomatic solution that will stop the bloodshed, even though it won’t “solve” everything long term. I’m cautiously optimistic. There are good and intelligent people working on this.

I do read up on developments, but I don’t click on articles that go into detail about torture, sexual assault, friends dying together etc because that’s the sort of thing I dwell on and have horrible dreams about. I can feel utmost sympathy without having read the nitty-gritty.

I’m hoping hard for a diplomatic solution that will stop the bloodshed

I hope so too. Got to say I’m encouraged by Sunak today for the first time in my life with this

I'm utterly distressed by the horrors of the Hamas attack and now the horror in Gaza. There's around 1000 people under rubble and they can't retrieve them. There are already 2700 dead. Aid can't get in and I am horrified to think what the final death toll would be. I'm sickened by it, even while I know there are terrible things going on all over the world, in this case we should be able to help and can't. I'm afraid it will escalate. All I can say that is hopeful is that my community actually seems kinder to each other, strangers smile at each other more and I'm so grateful for every child I see playing, every elderly person who is cared for.

I’m very concerned about the steep rise of anti-semitism in the UK recently and cannot believe Jewish people feel unsafe in 2023. Shameful.

I'm finding it horrifying seeing videos of people at protests chanting "g*s the Jews" (although that was in Sydney) and the sheer level of anti-semitism and hatred towards Jews. It's utterly chilling. I feel like we're watching history repeat itself without any way to actually stop it.

I have both Muslim and Jewish friends who are feeling on edge.

The women who are Muslim in particular, as they wear the hijab and have a very public marking of their faith. They each have said that people have been intentionally rude rude to them and one incident that was quite boldly aggressive.

I think this is heightened by the 6 year old Muslim boy who was stabbed in Chicago as his landlord shouted that “you Muslims must die!” and his father who was also stabbed who is fighting for his life having just lost his son. But then I multiply that devastation to all the children lost recently and my heart breaks.

Too many tears shed, and worried for my friends and their kids.

This terrifies me.

I'm so sorry for everyone who is suffering in this horrific situation - Israelis, Gazans, and their friends and families.

I'm disappointed that only two of my non-Jewish friends have checked to see if I'm ok. My DH's non-Jewish family haven't been in touch at all. I feel unseen. It's this kind of inaction / lack of care that gave rise to the holocaust. And I'm not even exaggerating.