How is the current conflict affecting you?

[TheGruffalochild]

This thread is intended to be a safe space to talk about how you are impacted by the current conflict. May be wishful thinking- but it isn’t supposed to be a place to take sides, place blame, or use inflammatory language. Nor is my intention to fill a thread with links to historical information and YouTube videos arguing either side.
Im just starting this thread because I’m feeling my mental health deteriorate from seeing and reading about so many scenes of violence on the news/social media. Of course all victims on both sides have suffered something unimaginable and I can’t even imagine how their pain compares to my discomfort. But I’d like to exchange on how every day people are affected and have a space for mumsnetters to support one another.
I know some have posted they’re waking in the night thinking about the events. I’m experiencing something similar - there is some broken scaffolding outside my home that rattles when it’s windy. The other night I initially woke with visions of someone firing at my house then realized it was just clanking bits of metal.

Please don’t take this the wrong way. I know how privileged I am to be safe in my home with all my loved ones around me. I know I could turn off the news - it will happen with or without me watching live updates. I’m so irrelevant in all of this. Yet at the same time I feel obliged not to look away from such massive and meaningless loss of life.

Just frightened and depressed, and extremely conscious of my own safety and comfortable life at the moment. I'm reading analysis but not watching videos. I don't blame anyone for wanting to put forward images but I am lucky enough not to have to see it.

A flicker of relief that ds isn't practising and doesn't have a mezuzah up. And sadness that I should ever feel that in the UK. And fear for his Muslim housemate. And in fact for his Hindu girlfriend, because these tides of violence aren't exactly logical, and will be racist not focused on religion.

Woke up this morning, still disturbed but feeling slight relief that I started this thread. I’m not happy that people are struggling - but it helps me understand this response is normal and I’m not going crazy by being so affected by this. I’m really thankful for everyone who shared their experiences and I can see many posts are advocating peace.

I hope we can keep this thread united and not split into two groups against each other. It was an us vs. them mentality that significantly contributed to this whole mess in the first place. I realized that being tolerant of other perspectives and giving everyone I interact with peace and empathy is the one thing I can do at a time we all feel so powerless and divided. It’s a small action but it’s within my control.

I keep thinking about an argument that broke out in an association I’m part of for my kids. An incident took place involving one of the children and the parents were divided down the middle regarding how to handle it. The more one side pushed for their course of action, the stronger the other side pushed back. Our whole group disintegrated, with several families leaving and others not speaking to each other. We were all just parents wanting the best for our kids.

If chaos can break out over such a minor issue then I know I can’t simplify such a complex issue as this conflict and just tell one side or the other to be more understanding. Of course when your people are hurt you feel rage, and once you are on a side and so far into it, it’s hard to find your way back to the middle. So I’m also trying to have more empathy for those whose views differ so strongly from mine. Even those wishing for death are doing it from a place of pain. I don’t think it’s right, and I want the death to stop. But dehumanizing or labeling those with opinions other than mine is not who I am. That said, I can still hold my own strong views on the topic and that continues to be we should be taking every step we can to preserve all life, especially the children’s, and meaningless destruction will not help anyone.

It is upsetting me so much. The individual human stories, the massive death toll and the discord.

I has a lot of Jewish friends at school. Have now lost touch with them apart from the occasional Facebook like. I know they all have links to Israel-some very close and I want them to know I’m thinking of them but haven’t contacted them as I didn’t want it to look like I’m posturing or trying to be some sort of grief vampire. So to the previous poster-I’m sure your non Jewish friends do care a lot but maybe not sure of the best way to show it?

I too worry about community polarisation in the UK. The number of any Semitic incidents has risen dramatically at a time when the Jewish community need space to mourn and mentally process what has happened to their country and people. It's as if Jews are trying to lament profoundly at a time when the whole world's focus is on Israel.

The magnitude and scope of the attacks will define the Israeli psyche and the path forward will be incredibly hard. I read the front pages of the Daily Mail.today about the work of pathologists and you can't avoid a visceral reaction and perhaps a need to share what effectively is a primal scream against man's inhumanity. I find it incredibly difficult to articulate. Maybe you can't .

I’m so sad about seeing our local Jewish school having police parked outside.
In 2023 it’s heart breaking that these kids will have memories of people wishing them harm simply because they are Jewish.

another Jew here.

Just very sad. At the rising anti semitism globally in response, rising anti-Islam sentiment, at the knee-jerk responses on social media, inc MN - I wish people would just say “I don’t know enough about the history, but I’m sorry for every single civilian that died”. I’m exhausted from feeling I have to correct others’ misunderstandings, wilful or accidental, but I feel I have to speak up where I can.

I have a six year old. She would love to celebrate Jewish holidays etc, and (because we live far from a community) I wondered about putting something on a local community FB or WhatsApp group to arrange something for the next big holiday. I don’t feel safe to do that now. I also don’t know how to explain to her what is happening there in a moderate way - I’ve no desire to poison her against the kid sitting next to her at school.

And I’m aware that if I was on one of those kibbutzim, I’d be raped or dead.

If chaos can break out over such a minor issue then I know I can’t simplify such a complex issue as this conflict and just tell one side or the other to be more understanding. Of course when your people are hurt you feel rage, and once you are on a side and so far into it, it’s hard to find your way back to the middle. So I’m also trying to have more empathy for those whose views differ so strongly from mine. Even those wishing for death are doing it from a place of pain.

The scale of the violence, hatred, and aggression (on both sides) is just so unimaginable though. I mean, I have some experience of being treated badly by other people, but I have never so much as hit another person (apart from my siblings in childhood) - I can't even begin to comprehend indiscriminately murdering others en masse. It makes my head hurt thinking about it.

I think looking over the press coverage in the last few days it was important to let Israel let the world know what happened in all its sickening detail. The IDF and civil servants have spoken in detail about horrendously emotive and sensitive situations to slow the world to know an unequivocal truth about the non humanity of terroism.

I think the Israeli people and Jews more generally couk d benefit from a virtual embrace of solidarity to allow them to know, yes, you have support and you are not alone at this time.

🇮🇱🌹

I think looking over the press coverage in the last few days it was important to let Israel let the world know what happened in all its sickening detail. The IDF and civil servants have spoken in detail about horrendously emotive and sensitive situations to slow the world to know an unequivocal truth about the non humanity of terroism.

But a lot of this 'letting the world know' amounts to propaganda. And there have been awful lies told, such as the 40 beheaded babies

https://www.aljazeera.com/opinions/2023/10/13/watching-the-watchdogs-babies-and-truth-die-together-in-israel-palestine

Any one-sided stance only serves to stoke the fires.

@royalwatchewr i think wishing for death is one thing. I’ve secretly wished death on people in the past, and regretted it. I don’t have empathy for those who have executed it, or ordered it via their armies.

I don't know how the innocent people living this hell can ever recover from so much trauma. I'm haunted by an image I saw of two children, unidentified, who'd lost their parents in the bombing and the lost look in their baby eyes haunts me.

@Schoolappeal1 its ‘Jewish’ not ‘a Jew’.

@royalwatchewr no , just some were beheaded, others were shot or burned to death… does that make it better?

It's interesting that you should bring up press. It Is very important that the world knows what is happening on both sides. According to a UN report which arose from Israels murder of Shireen Abu Akleh, even before this current conflict Israel have a reoccurring pattern of attacks targeting journalists. They shot Shireen in the head as she was covering an Israeli raid on a refugee camp, she was clearly identifiable as press.

This is an interesting article about the press in Palestine and what they are up against to try and report the truth about what is happening on the ground in Palestine https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2023/10/17/every-second-in-danger-gaza-journalists-race-against-deadlines-and-death

Then there is also the journalist that Israel killed in Lebanon the other day and the 6 other journalists they injured.

So I agree, absolutely the horrors of what Hamas did need to be reported on. The horrors of the IDF also need to be reported on and journalists need to stop losing their lives doing it.

@Gruntsandgroans what you’re doing is (inadvertently or otherwise) exactly what I was alluding to in my post. This isn’t the football derby; trying to equalise your side isn’t really moral or helpful imo. Look again at the stated aim of this thread. Do you think you’re adding any helpful reflection here? Can we not just have a shared space to reflect without someone wading in with links to what x did to y or y did to x?

I too feel that the true horror of the Hamas attacks has been overshadowed by Israels military response and ensuing humanitarian crisis - in a really unhelpful way

I seem to remember after 9/11 there was a spell before the Tora Bora bombings in Afghanistan when the whole world was completely focussed on the attack and the suffering of those involved

I appreciate that the USA had the 'luxury' of the terrorists involved living 1000s of miles away rather than being in the attic. And that an immediate and decisive response was needed for reasons of safety and political reasons

It's what Israel had to choose but does seem very un-fair

It’s all so horrific. I don’t have any family members involved and am neither Jewish or Muslim but it is really affecting me. I feel sick to the stomach and lay awake at night and am constantly checking the news. The worse thing is the hopelessness. There’s is so much anger, violence and distrust on both sides that I really can’t see there ever being peace in the region. I am also worried about things getting much worse, both the US and Iran seem to be getting involved.

Unfortunately I have no Jewish contacts, I don’t even know if there’s a synagogue round here but if there is I wonder if there’s a way of showing my condolences and support for the Jewish community?

It makes me feel very sad for humanity. Also makes me realise how lucky we are and to be thankful for that.

as an aside I have rarely seen such bias in some of the media. Reporting solely on Hamas atrocities (which are horrific) but nothing on the poor people of Palestine and what they are suffering through.

What are you accessing?

BBC R4 is talking about it daily

Just to reiterate what @TheWayTheLightFalls posted. There have been plenty of threads for debate where both sides could argue their point and it’s important that opportunity exists. However, the aim here is to share how the conflict is affecting us on the individual level and to offer support. Whether you are Jewish, Muslim, Atheist, or any religion. Whether you are close to the conflict or sat in your comfy living room just watching the news. It’s about supporting those who may be experiencing mental health struggles, abuse on the streets, fear of a new police presence or realizing they can no longer speak to friends. Some people are taking a step back from the news - posting opposing links at each other won’t contribute to a feeling of unity that we are seeking to achieve.

Heartbroken.

Also despairing at the response. Hitting back has been done for thousands of years and leads to more death and despair.

Two peace activists one from each side who has both lost a child to this were interviewed on women’s hour people like that need to be in charge.

My dds are the same age as two of the sisters that were kidnapped. Can’t even imagine going through that.

@EasternStandard that's why I said some. Not all.

I’m taking a large group of girls to Paris soon and I’m a little concerned by the bomb threats and the recent attack.

I have tried to understand what is happening out in the Middle East and it’s very difficult and hard to watch humans doing this to each other!

I don't have 'a side', I very specifically mentioned and condemned both Hamas and the IDF. Someone else brought up the press and I agreed with them that yes, it is really important that all of the horrendous acts are out there for the world to see. You are accusing me of being immoral for that? That's really strong language but I will be kind and assume that it is just a reflection of your state of mind right now rather than your character in general. I hope you have a great day