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Original poster

Tell me about your second born/youngest

52 replies

ItsConstant · 15/10/2023 07:38

Mine conforms to all of the stereotypes - in a nutshell, he's hard work - constantly moaning, more 'handsy', demanding, destructive, the list goes on! There's less than 2 years between my 2 DC (youngest is 19 months) and my eldest was, and continues to be, so easy in comparison. I know they're all different and you can't compare... But you do!

I feel guilty for not 'treasuring' and 'enjoying' these early days but something's (most of the time), I can't wait until he's a bit older and past this phase (I'm really hoping it is a phase and not his character/personality, he's always been like this).

Just to be clear, I love him unconditionally, I just find his behaviour very challenging.

OP posts:

mumonthehill · 15/10/2023 07:45

We have the total opposite!! Younger ds is laid back, easy and no trouble at all. Even now at 16 he works hard and is lovely. Elder ds has always had a tricky side and teenage years were very difficult. I love him but we have clashed over the years!!!

Iwasjustasking · 15/10/2023 07:46

feral, absolutely feral!

lollydu · 15/10/2023 07:47

First born so east and chilled. Boy. Second both girl is completely feral and if she'd been first we probably wouldn't have had another!

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TookTheBook · 15/10/2023 07:48

What are the stereotypes? Our second child kind of went with the flow so was pretty chilled, introvert, slept better than the first...

Fuckitydoodah · 15/10/2023 07:51

DC2 is a much more chilled out child and was an 'easier' baby in comparison, but I think maybe that's because I wasn't so anxious second time around.

Loud, though. Incredibly loud. No such thing as an indoor voice with my number two 😁

AlwaysFreezing · 15/10/2023 07:51

I probably could have written your post when my second was that age. I actually said to my mum he's spoiling it all! I'm not enjoying this.

He's 10 now. And a complete delight. He is funny, cuddly, quick witted, a total dream to have around. He's brilliant company. We've had the most amazing parents evening just last week where we were told the teacher felt lucky to have him in his class. We were told he was mature, capable, a lovely friend. I mean, I'm running out of lovely things to say, he is just the best.

Hang in there. By 3 it started to get loads better. By 5, he was a dream. He still didn't sleep the best and that's the one thing that took too long, but it's a distant memory now.

NotChristmasAlready · 15/10/2023 07:53

My second, who is far from my youngest, was extremely chill and easy as a child.

HeadAgainstWall0923 · 15/10/2023 07:54

My second son was far easier as a baby and as an infant than my first baby was as he was so much more relaxed and chilled.

He’s 6 now and still far less hard work than his older brother.

I have a sister, and I was the second born, and I can quite confidently say that if my parents had to choose which baby/infant/child/teen was the easiest, then it would be me.

Stop worrying about what your child’s birth order means he ‘should’ be doing (I didn’t even know this was a ‘thing’?) and just try and enjoy him for who he is. Genuine sympathies though for having a challenging child as it can be draining 😢

TammyJones · 15/10/2023 07:58

mumonthehill · 15/10/2023 07:45

This is us.
Both adult now.
Younger rings often and just so easy.
The elder (very talented, awesome etc .....)
I often wondered was she a cuckoo in the nest (not to their face though) love them all to bits.

popandchoc · 15/10/2023 07:59

Mine are the opposite to the usual first/second child and my youngest is the more easygoing one. She has always been used to having to just entertain herself so just goes along with things. Eldest is a lot more bossy haha.

FlamingoYellow · 15/10/2023 08:00

My second has always been a much better sleeper and doesn't get get anxious or scared. If you tell him not to do something then he won't. He was very, very clingy as a baby, but he got better as is very independent now. He is happiest lying in front of the TV, doing nothing. Dc1, on the other hand, is like an over excited spaniel 🙄.

Blackcoffee1 · 15/10/2023 08:01

My second born/youngest is so laid back, super easy, sweet, loving, great sleeper.

My first born is lovely but more highly strung and emotional.

Hedonism · 15/10/2023 08:01

TookTheBook · 15/10/2023 07:48

What are the stereotypes? Our second child kind of went with the flow so was pretty chilled, introvert, slept better than the first...

Same here. Not sure what the stereotypes are?

Hedonism · 15/10/2023 08:07

Dc1, on the other hand, is like an over excited spaniel 🙄.

Haha, mine too! He's like a little (not so little any more) Labrador puppy. DC2 is more circumspect. Even as babies - dc1 would beam at anyone who peered into the pushchair, but you had to earn a smile from dc2.

Both lovely.

TeamSleep · 15/10/2023 08:07

Both of mine have their difficult moments, neither is “easier” they tend to tag team, so while one is being difficult the other is a delight and then they switch. It’s almost like the worst one is behaving, the better the other one behaves. They’re two years apart. I reward and praise the positive behaviour and try not to give to much attention to the bad behaviour (unless it’s dangerous). I’d be very careful of labelling one child the good child and one child the bad child, even in your head, as they’ll notice. All children are individuals, respect them for who they are and treat them fairly and equally otherwise resentment and low self esteem will develop.

Mystro202 · 15/10/2023 08:19

Same boat. 4 yo and absolutely crazy, destructive, climbs on everything, no fear at all. Doesn't listen, doesn't do as he's asked, has never slept a full night since he was born. Constant high energy and as a result eats like a horse. An absolute handful. But oh so charming and affectionate. Everyone else thinks he's adorable 🥰

KylieKangaroo · 15/10/2023 08:21

Both of mine are as bad as each other 😅 youngest walked at 9 months though and she is generally more physical whereas the eldest is more careful.

toomanyleggings · 15/10/2023 08:22

She’s an extreme of everything I had before. Extremely demanding, extremely high energy, independent, verbal but also extremely loving and very clever

Simonjt · 15/10/2023 08:26

Our daughter has so far been an incredibly easy baby and toddler, we haven’t been tired since she was about 6 months old. We’ve only had about four months of parenting her when she was the same age as our son, so we can’t really compare them stage by stage. Our son is eight and our parenting journey has so far been fairly straight forward. We’ve figured we’ll probably pay for easy early years by having awful teenage years.

spitefulandbadgrammar · 15/10/2023 08:27

First born a nightmare baby, colic, sleeplessness, meltdowns, the works. At five she’s still very highly strung: everything is all or nothing, lots of “and I’ll never ever be happy again!” Never sits still or stops talking, a complete whirlwind and as exhausting as the day she was born.

Second born a sleepy potato for four months, had no idea what he looked like with his eyes open for weeks. Now a jolly potato at 11 months. Really only cries if something is properly wrong: a fever or a tumble. Can ignore him for big chunks of time and he just burbles around. Loves people, food, sleep. Never had a witching hour. Desperately hoping this is him for life! I’d have half a dozen if they were all like him.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 15/10/2023 08:30

My two (girl, then boy, 2.5 years apart) weren't very different when they were little. Both pretty easy-going. Neither was destructive or particularly boisterous at any age tbh.

Goldencup · 15/10/2023 08:32

Dd (DC) was the easiest most chilled baby ever. Slept well, fed easily ( both breast and bottle was not fussed). Was an absolute delight as a toddler. A complete torrnado as a teenager ( drinking, parties, under age sex) is starting to calm down a little bit now at 17.

DS ( DC1) was a " spirited" baby and toddler and didn't calm down until 8 or 9 ish. But the teenage years were relatively straight forward. At 19 he is a very expensice delight.

Ifyoulikealotofchocolateonyourbiscuit · 15/10/2023 08:33

Oldest was always very well behaved (apart from a brief spell of defiance and being physical when sister was first born). He is quieter and not one for enjoying attention. Hates to be told off, gets quite upset. Gets on well with friends, no drama etc.

little one is very dramatic. Adores an audience and is at home on the stage. Was an incredibly demanding toddler and young child- I was being called into school a lot because she could not sit still. She’s 8 now and while still a lover of the stage, she is so much calmer. She listens in school and is able to concentrate and is doing really well now.

both brother and sister get on well at the moment. They are currently 8 and 11. No idea what awaits in the teenage years ahead though!!

Nottodaty · 15/10/2023 08:34

My second slept much better & up until around 18 months old was a very easy baby. My first wasn’t an easy baby never slept, but as a toddler was very easy and chilled as she grew up.
My second easy baby grew horns at 18 months and is a whirlwind - she is confident, doesn’t listen and loud. Pushes boundaries which is making the teenage years fun. On the flip side she is easier in other ways - she fearless, gets on with homework, if she has an issue she emails the teachers for help. Even planned her own volunteering, emailing the person (my eldest would have wanted me to check email and guide her through the process)

My children are very different and I have to adapt my parenting to their needs. My husband does struggle as the first was so compliant the second challenges seemingly everything at times.

Poblano · 15/10/2023 08:35

Mine are much older (teens and early 20s).

DC1 was always the quietest and the best behaved. When he was little he liked to conform and was a real people pleaser. He's grown into a confident young man, thoughtful and considerate. He won't set the world on fire, but he will remember my birthday.

DS2 was the energetic one as a toddler, I can remember feeling much like the OP when he was that age. He's still full of energy - throws himself entirely into whatever he's doing - and is usually very successful. I have had to get used to not hearing from him regularly (no news is good news, right?), although when I see him I'm always met with an enormous bear hug.

DC3 is still at home, but won't be for much longer. She has always been fiercely independent, probably due to being DC3 and just having to get on with it. She's very driven, has her eye on what she wants to do and a plan of how to get there.

They probably do live up to the firstborn, middle and youngest stereotypes. They are all very different, but I'm very proud of all three.

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