Regret having a third child?

[Miamisun]

Anyone regret having a 3rd child? I’m on the fence due to childhood issue and my parents having too many kids, so not sure I’m projecting my childhood issues too much.

I would love another child but worried it will negatively affect my other 2.

Anyone have a third and actually wish they stuck at 2?

It's harder work and more expensive, but my third is lovely so I don't regret it at all. Just wish the older two could get on occasionally. They're in their 20s now and I'm still waiting. Without the 3rd, family life would probably be a bit joyless with the other two battling non stop. Although perhaps that dynamic would have been resolved if there were just the two of them - who knows.

I love my 3 kids. But 3 is alot more work than 2........yes if I had my time back I would have stuck at 2......but I do love my 3rd child.

It’s hard but life is hard? I don’t see that as a negative necessarily as the joy I receive outweighs it all.
2, 6 and 8 year old and definitely don’t regret DS3

Bit late for me, 3rd is on the way.

My eldest is 14 though (Second child is 4) Nobody told me they need you more as they get older. My eldest causes me more worry, stress and sleepless nights than a newborn/toddler ever could AND she’s a good kid really, in the respect of she’s really sensible. It’s just non stop hormones, friendship issues, body image issues, navigating social media etc etc.

Her homework is off the scale. She’s quite studious but not incredible with time management and I feel the pressure to really step in and help. It’s a lot to juggle already so throw a newborn in to the mix and I do wish things were different.

Unfortunately for me, pregnancies don’t come easily for me and I’ve battled secondary infertility for 10 years. These gaps were not planned!

Regret… no. I really wanted to complete my family, but I do wish things were a little bit different.

Do you have the space? And the finances within reason?
We are having a surprise third and yes it's gonna make things a bit tighter for a while but it's essentially doable and I'm now very happy and excited. We both work and we have a 4th bedroom... my job is flexible for childcare
It's a very different situation if your parents were having kids they just couldn't cope with. You know generally wether you are likely to be able to cope or not. Doesn't mean you won't ever struggle or have days where it's hard... but I think you must have a basic idea of whether you can fit a third child into your life in terms of space, energy and finances.

Quite the reverse with my sister.
Her only child had left home grown adult she had her life back.
Then went on to want a baby with a partner of 3 years had a baby at 47 and now a single mum.
She loves her child dearly but regrets being an older mum and misses her freedom.
shes 53 now with a primary child.

She once said why didnt anyone say anything to her like i said no one would have changed your mind.
Or she say is this my karma ( long story )
She did openly say it was down to being broody and it was mostly down to hormones.( IDK)
I do help her but theres no point in regrets now what's done is done.

My third is an absolute joy, I feel
like I’ve really enjoyed his baby and toddler years as appreciate how fast it goes. The only thing that is tricky is that lots of things are set up for families of 4, like holidays, rides at attractions etc.
I will say though we were very lucky to have good jobs, be financially secure, have good childcare in place and family support. My answer might be different if I was in a different situation. But I personally love having a gang of 3!

My third was the easiest. Slept through from the start, was happy just slotting in because he knew no different. is extremely easy going and accommodating.

id echo what others have said. 3 is definitely harder work than 2. I have 13, 4 and 10 month old DD’s. But no I could never regret our choice for a third. She’s completed our family even if the three of them are aging me far more rapidly than if I’d stopped at one or two 😂

@KEG05 Oh my goodness, finally someone with a similar gap to what i’ll have! How are you finding it?

Like there’s not enough of me to go round mostly because they all have different needs. Plus side is they mostly get on really well because they are all at different stages😂🙈. Makes it hard to find things that suit everyone though. What about you?

I replied and didn’t quote which is what I meant to do 😂🙈

We have 3.5yo, 2yo and 7wk old. It's still tough but I know it'll get better 🤣 partly because I hate the 4wk onward to 6m stage!

We thought about it but stuck at two. Now got two at university and the financial strain is huge, I can't even think about doing it if we had a third and they also wanted to study. My children weren't bad teenagers but I really felt I only had the time and resources for two so glad we made the decision we did.

Not me but I know 2 people who had a third pregnancy and regreted it. One had twins born at 28 weeks gestation, the other had triplets !

I have a family history of twins so that was a consideration in us stoping at 2.

I have 3 and its definitely harder. More juggling, more noise, more conflicting schedules.

I wouldn't change mine as I love them to pieces (and my third was a boy that we really wanted) but it's not for the faint hearted.

I’d say don’t do it.
I’m married to a middle one of 3, and he has horrific middle child syndrome.
In fact, all the siblings that I know that have unhappy relationships, or indeed no relationship at all are from a family of 3… However i know several lots of 4 siblings that are all best of mates. Have two more if you’re going to is my advice!

I wanted 3 but it didn't happen. My two are now 10 and 12 and I am so glad I only have two, they are my world but I couldn't split myself any further...
The money
The school admin
The ferrying about to clubs and friends
The emotional demands and needs
The practical care doesn't change at this age, I still put them to bed, wash clothes, pack bags and make meals, help with homework etc
The money!!

Financially and practically, yes. We'd be in a much better position had we not had a 3rd.
Emotionally, no. I love my DD and would never change that. Obviously. But take me back in time to never knowing of her existence but having the maturity and financial knowledge I have now, I'd not have had a 3rd.

Similar age gaps to us. 3 under 4 feels like utter chaos at the time, but having them be similar ages is a godsend as they get older. Especially for days out/holidays.

I had 3 in 5 years. I actually found I didn't notice the extra work they my third was. I wàs happy to stop at 2 but nature decided otherwise.

Same. I found going from one to two so hard that if I had to do it again it would cross my mind to save myself from the stress. Once you’ve learned to manage two though I think the third is so much easier. Mine was an an absolute dream to the point I wanted to go for a fourth until oh put his foot down and got himself a vasectomy 😬

Absolutely no regrets, I love my little trio and so glad we were able to have 3. However it is hard work and expensive!

Absolutely no regrets with my third, we all love him to bits.
His siblings really pushed for a baby so there has never been any jealousy or anything.
I had two under two with my first two and that was harder than having three.
They still look at him with adoring eyes and he's four now!

DP would have wanted to stop at two and adores our third, but would still have advised us to stop at two.
I really really wanted the third and I am delighted to have them - they make our family complete. And just as I predicted beforehand, the third is "enough" for me so there's no debate about a fourth. (DP worried if I got a third I might want a fourth next.)

So having the baby hasn't changed either of our minds :-). But I am VERY grateful we agreed to have three.