Regret having a third child?

[Miamisun]

Anyone regret having a 3rd child? I’m on the fence due to childhood issue and my parents having too many kids, so not sure I’m projecting my childhood issues too much.

I would love another child but worried it will negatively affect my other 2.

Anyone have a third and actually wish they stuck at 2?

The big problem with 3 is when they are all at uni at the same time then they all descend back home for the hols with friends so you go from empty house to running a hotel!!!

My kids are 20 months, 6 and 8. I love having 3 and in fact, find having 3 kids at their current ages is much easier than when I had two under 4.

I don't think 3 is much harder than two. But I really found one to two so difficult. Much harder than 0-1. I'd love a fourth but would need a bigger house so only if I win the lottery.

This is only if you have them close in age tbf though.

I would have absolutely said stop at 2 a few years ago.

The early years were pretty good - it was hard work and I was very tired, thought that was just about alright and loved our little gang.

Then they grew up a bit and I was run ragged, stressed out, they were arguing, it was like herding cats. How I laughed at those naive fools on here saying that they had thought about the challenges of having a third or fourth - the need for a bigger car, the extra expense, whether or not the kids would have each have their own bedroom - as if these issues were the main things that would bring a parent to their knees! I was bottom of the list of my own priorities for a decade.

It’s the stress of managing the personal dynamics, the lack of time, energy, sleep, the parenting conflicts, the multiplying social issues/challenges/demands for each child that need attending to, the exponential rise in family relationships that require managing that fuelled the problems in our household. it’s possible that it was doubly horrendous because they and all their peers were struggling through the covid years leading to real issues and concerns within their social
groups.

They are now older and I'm currently glad we had more, especially as the older ones leave home. We’re in a good patch. I do however consider us very lucky to still be married, and we have paid out a lot - a lot! - on therapy. And depending on how anxious a person you are, having another child will add an extra person to be anxious about, and possibly have to provide support to, for the rest of your life.

Our age gap would be 3 years and then just over 4 years, is 7 from top to bottom too much? Or am I completely over thinking?

@KEG05 Well, number 3’s not here yet. She’s due in a few weeks, but I’m terrified of the juggle with the similar age gaps to you! That’s exactly how I feel - there won’t be enough of me to go round!

My middle girl loves the bones off her baby sister. And the teenager is a teenager. All round good wee soul but mildly stroppy and intolerant. I actually feel like it’s by middle DD who gets the least amount of my time. The baby has me to herself when the others are at school/nursery. And my oldest has my attention when the little ones are in bed. So I find it hard to carve time for her as it doesn’t fit naturally in our day. You have to love a little bit of chaos I think 😂. It’s definitely louder with three even with a big gap 😂🙈. Wouldn’t change it though.

To love having three but it is really hard work!

My gaps are 3.3 years and 4.8 years and it works well for us. Eldest is 11 now at high school so we have 3 at 3 different schools/nursery which is stressful, plus lots of running around for clubs and activities, but they all get on so well together and due to age gaps there's no jealousy and it's so nice to see the eldest nurturing the youngest and the youngest looking up to the older two.

I do worry my youngest will be a but lonely and lost when the elder two go to uni or move out, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it!

I always wanted 3 but I'm very content with my two. They are 13 and 11 now and I love the little snippets of freedom I now have and the sheer delight of a Saturday lie in. I also don't think I could be arsed doing more years of homework 😂😂

My experience is exactly the same. Dh would have stopped at 1. Or 2. I wanted the third. My third is a girl, older 2 are boys, and she is definitely daddys little princess who can do no wrong in his eyes. As opposed to him and the oldest who regularly clash.

No one will say they regret the existence of their child probably, but it’s important to recognise the change in dynamics and resources it will bring to your family.

do a mental pro/con with your DP

Haven't RTFT.

I don't regret it because she is ace but would I recommend 3, absolutely not.

It is infinitely more work than 2, there just never seems to be a time when someone doesn't need something.

Mine are 2, 5 & 6 and two toddlers at the same time was easier than chucking the third in the mix.

You need a big house a big car, booking holidays is a nightmare. The whole world is setup for families with 2 children.

We are also now starting to find that one is always left out.

And as someone has mentioned... Extra curricular for that many kids means I'm rapidly becoming a taxi driver.

I found that my patience decreased exponentially per child. I'd have been a much better mum if I'd stuck to two.

To be fair I'd worked most of this out before hand and decided I only wanted two... But life had other ideas.

Oh and... Imagine if number 3 turns out to be twins!

This… I so wanted three. I don’t know how anyone affords more than two though. I am a walking banking app.