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Original poster

Close encounter with an XL bully.. Well that has put the wind up me.

136 replies

DanianaBanana · 12/10/2023 21:07

Every few months I go for a root touch up and trim with a really nice stylist who works from home. He and his husband have one of those XL bully dogs.

When I first started going he asked if I was OK with dogs and I said of course, I love them (bare in mind this was before all the news coverage of attacks). The dog would greet me as I came in and I'd give him a fuss. He'd jump up which was a bit much as he's huge but he was always really friendly.

After a few times I noticed every time I went "Fido" was in his crate and "John" said he thought it best as he'd been snapping at other dogs on walks and being a bit iffy. He took him to the vet to rule out anything health related.

I was there yesterday getting my hair done, John's DH must have left Fido loose after a walk as when we came out of the salon room he was in the hallway infront and came over to say hello.

He was happily wagging his tail and jumped up. I think this was where I messed up.

Given his height we were pretty much face to face and I couldn't help but notice how striking his eyes were so I was remarking what beautiful eyes he had whilst staring him straight in them.

His temperament shifted. I can't articulate it very well but but he stiffened up, his ears went back and the excitement switched to what I'd call an intense stare. I felt really nervous.

John clocked the change straight away and dragged him down by the collar and quickly shut him in the kitchen telling him "no, I don't trust you mate"

My legs were like jelly walking back to the car and I felt quite shaken up for a couple of hours after about what a close call it could have been.

I'm wondering if my fear is justified or whether you think perhaps I've let the recent news coverage colour my view too much?

Also, for anybody that knows about dog behaviour - do you think my hunch is right and that the dog would have been unsettled by the eye contact? In hindsight I'm sure I read somewhere that you shouldn't do that.

Regular poster but NC incase people think I'm being a total wimp.

OP posts:
GeorgeSpeaks · 12/10/2023 21:10

That sounds scary. Why does John still have Fido if he doesn't trust him? There's more to this...

Meadowdog · 12/10/2023 21:11

Not a wimp at all and I probably wouldn't go back to that hairdresser. If you do then message beforehand and ask that the dog be crated while you're there. But probably best to stay away.

jlpth · 12/10/2023 21:11

I wouldn't go back, but Fido sounds like an attack waiting to happen. Plus Fido will know you next time he'll smell you.

disappearingfish · 12/10/2023 21:12

Not overreacting. His own owner doesn't trust the dog. Don't go back.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 12/10/2023 21:13

You should absolutely not stare in a dog's eyes. It is quite an aggressive thing to do. My dog is generally very good-natured, but really dislikes it when other dogs approach while locking eyes. I find border collies particularly bad for this. If people get im his face and stare, he will sometimes growl.

BowlOfNoodles · 12/10/2023 21:15

Unfortunately I bet the majority seen it coming

Original poster
DanianaBanana · 12/10/2023 21:19

They've had him since he was a small puppy, he's about three now I think. He hasn't been passed from pillar to post like alot of them from what I know. They're decent people and not the stereotypical XL owners, as in not rough people (usually it's chavs wanting that breed but they don't fit the mould at all)

I assume they're really attached to him and hate the idea of getting rid as I guess that's part of the problem these days isn't it? How much the breed is passed about and destabilised which then brings out the unstable temperament.

I don't think I do want to go back if I'm honest. I said to my own DH I could ask John to make sure he's locked away, citing having bought a cat or something, but that always leaves room for mistakes like today.

I have a feeling John will be having words with the DH as he was genuinely surprised to see Fido there in the hallway.

OP posts:
LolBeansandSalad · 12/10/2023 21:20

I think your instinct was probably right. I have two dogs, both of the soft-as-shite variety, and one of them hates prolonged eye contact.

Saying that, I do think the recent news about bullies can affect how we see them. We were in a pub recently when a bloke with a bull cross came near- he actually checked we were okay with dogs before he sat down. The dog was a beauty, when I held my hand out for a sniff, he just plonked his head in it and lolled happily. It did cross my mind though that if he 'turned', I could lose my arm! I wouldn't have necessarily considered that before

NoTouch · 12/10/2023 21:21

I actively avoid any large bull breeds and the deluded idiots that own them. I wouldnt be in the home of one.

rwalker · 12/10/2023 21:23

1st off I can stand dogs and the last to defend any dog but he’s right you can’t trust any dog not just the ones in the news

any dog has the potential to turn and you are a relative stranger In it’s home and its space

it does sound as though he’s responsible and keeps an eye on the situation

tbh I’d just tell him I’m nervous of you dog then he’s aware and will manage it

dogs pick up on behaviour and it will of sensed your fear

your hairdresser does sound as though he’s a considerate and responsible dog owner

Original poster
DanianaBanana · 12/10/2023 21:25

BowlOfNoodles · 12/10/2023 21:15

Unfortunately I bet the majority seen it coming

How do you mean?

OP posts:
Heyhoherewegoagain · 12/10/2023 21:25

I wouldn’t be going back if the dog was in the house. I’ve recently cut a friendship with someone who’s got themselves a Xl bully. They went right down in my estimation

vodkaredbullgirl · 12/10/2023 21:29

Never stare a dog in the eyes, lesson learnt.

TheOccupier · 12/10/2023 21:40

You are absolutely nuts to let any dog that size jump up and be face to face with you. The fact that its owners haven't trained it not to do that tells you all you need to know. You were very lucky.

Irridescantshimmmer · 12/10/2023 21:41

Eye contact can stir aggression in dogs.....it is how predators comminate agression.

Stamp your foot and growl to indicate to the dog to be submissive.

They are predators, so eye contact puts dogs on the defensive and this is the reason for the dogs sudden shift in attitude towards you. Not blaming you btw.

I once came into contact with a dog which was wolf/labrador, a massive beautiful creature who looked like a golden labrador but bigger than a husky who towered over me with both his front paws. I relaxed, became very calm and immediatly averted my eyes. He was a gentle soul and just curious.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 12/10/2023 21:45

I'd always be cautious/nervous around any big male dog that wanted to jump up at people. Eye contact is usually an aggressive move as well so I think I would be a bit rattled by this situation too, especially with what the owner said, even if it was kind of in jest.

I'd still go but ask John to make sure he is in his crate before you go in so you can be a bit more relaxed. Even with my smaller dog I'm perfectly happy to keep him away if visitors aren't keen on dogs. With him the feeling is often mutual anyway...

Original poster
DanianaBanana · 12/10/2023 21:52

Thanks for confirming my thoughts about the eye contact. I will keep that in mind in future, whatever dog it is.

It didn't feel as though I had much chance to stop him jumping up in the first place, he was quite quick and once he was up i was a bit frozen 😬 if you know what I mean, so I wasn't sure what to do.

I think my "aww look at his beautiful eyes" was an automatic fawn response as I felt really uncomfortable, but of course did the wrong thing.

OP posts:
SuperFi · 12/10/2023 21:53

After a few times I noticed every time I went "Fido" was in his crate and "John" said he thought it best as he'd been snapping at other dogs on walks and being a bit iffy. He took him to the vet to rule out anything health related.

Op I think you were definitely not over reacting, do you think “John” could be down playing this “iffy” behaviour. An XL “snapping” is a red flag. Don’t go back.

AlwaysPrettyOnTheInside · 12/10/2023 21:54

You challenged the dog in its own home.

Don't make eye contact, look at their nose or between their eyes.

That goes for any dog, not just larger ones.

Noodge · 12/10/2023 21:59

Generally speaking dogs don't like intense eye contact. 3 is (for a large dog) just about getting to fully grown/developed so he has now developed his adult temperament. My dog changed at that age (but was hand reared so is okay with eye contact).

Sorry this happened to you-I love dogs too but I'd have been very scared. I'd not clapped eyes on an XL Bully until a few months ago and was quite taken aback over just how HUGE they are, and my dog is a large breed herself.

TheCosyRain · 12/10/2023 22:00

Definitely do not go back. You heard it from the owner, he can’t be trusted. For the sake of getting your hair done it is not worth it.

Eye contact in dog language is confrontational so yes you were reading him right. They often freeze right before they snap.

TheCosyRain · 12/10/2023 22:05

I work with dogs and love them so much but honestly, this breed terrifies me. I simply do not trust any of them.

EtiennePalmiere · 12/10/2023 22:21

Sounds like the dog has recently bit someone.

On a broader note I didn't know any of this about dogs and eye contact, very interesting.

Original poster
DanianaBanana · 12/10/2023 22:25

They are very big and intimidating dogs. If he'd have gone for me, which I think he was considering, I don't think John would have been able to do much about it.

He (John) isn't much bigger than I am and those dogs have taken down large men with no effort whatsoever.

OP posts: