Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Close encounter with an XL bully.. Well that has put the wind up me.

136 replies

DanianaBanana · 12/10/2023 21:07

Every few months I go for a root touch up and trim with a really nice stylist who works from home. He and his husband have one of those XL bully dogs.

When I first started going he asked if I was OK with dogs and I said of course, I love them (bare in mind this was before all the news coverage of attacks). The dog would greet me as I came in and I'd give him a fuss. He'd jump up which was a bit much as he's huge but he was always really friendly.

After a few times I noticed every time I went "Fido" was in his crate and "John" said he thought it best as he'd been snapping at other dogs on walks and being a bit iffy. He took him to the vet to rule out anything health related.

I was there yesterday getting my hair done, John's DH must have left Fido loose after a walk as when we came out of the salon room he was in the hallway infront and came over to say hello.

He was happily wagging his tail and jumped up. I think this was where I messed up.

Given his height we were pretty much face to face and I couldn't help but notice how striking his eyes were so I was remarking what beautiful eyes he had whilst staring him straight in them.

His temperament shifted. I can't articulate it very well but but he stiffened up, his ears went back and the excitement switched to what I'd call an intense stare. I felt really nervous.

John clocked the change straight away and dragged him down by the collar and quickly shut him in the kitchen telling him "no, I don't trust you mate"

My legs were like jelly walking back to the car and I felt quite shaken up for a couple of hours after about what a close call it could have been.

I'm wondering if my fear is justified or whether you think perhaps I've let the recent news coverage colour my view too much?

Also, for anybody that knows about dog behaviour - do you think my hunch is right and that the dog would have been unsettled by the eye contact? In hindsight I'm sure I read somewhere that you shouldn't do that.

Regular poster but NC incase people think I'm being a total wimp.

OP posts:
Hescheatingisnthe · 12/10/2023 23:46

Danja2010 · 12/10/2023 23:18

It is a BIG no no to stare any dog in the eyes. It’s an act of aggression. He was reacting to this. I wish more people new correct behavior around animals.

Show quote history

I wish more people knew how to spell. Can't win them all I guess!

OP isn't to blame for looking the dog in the eye when the dog was allowed to jump up to her eye level. The owner is as fault here.

Original poster
DanianaBanana · 12/10/2023 23:51

I do get the impression John is wary himself now so who knows what else has happened that he hasn't mentioned. I can understand not wanting to delve into all of the reasons your dog is dangerous.. to somebody who is visiting your home at the time, so just make sure said dog is secure away from visitors.

As I said earlier I think this one is on the DH as John was as surprised as I was to see him in the hallway, and that's why I don't feel able to go back, because as 'on the ball' as John is he can't ensure the same of his DH.

OP posts:
WingingItSince1973 · 12/10/2023 23:51

This dog should not be allowed to jump up at people! I have small dogs and they are not allowed to jump upto people so this on it's own is very inappropriate. It must have been so scary each time and I can see that you tried to make light out of it by saying his eyes were lovely. The owners need a bit of a wake up call as this dog is already causing them concern and will they will not be able to handle it if it does loose it.

Alltheyearround · 13/10/2023 00:02

I had a similar encounter on the street recently. Dog and man crossing road, I was looking at the dog from a distance - like I do most dogs - but this one was hyper aware and gave me such a death stare, we kind of locked eyes and I was scared (I do know not to stare at dogs btw). I froze in the middle of crossing the road, then a car beeped me and I unfroze and carried on. Genuinely never seen a dog do that before. There is something unhinged in these XLBully types. I see hundreds of dogs in a year (walking via park to and from work). Honestly never seen that flip switch intense reaction before. All other dogs I come across are mainly looking for squirrels and checking out fellow dogs.

OP I would steer clear of the hairdressers. I feel like what you had there was a close call. Too close for comfort.

CherryBlossom321 · 13/10/2023 00:09

If he was the best hair stylist in the whole world, if he was award winning, if he made my hair behave perfectly…I still wouldn’t go back. That’s an incident waiting to happen.

Pallisers · 13/10/2023 00:11

It is a BIG no no to stare any dog in the eyes. It’s an act of aggression. He was reacting to this. I wish more people new correct behavior around animals.

Let's see. Would it be easier to educate all the non-dog owners in the world how to behave around a dog or would it be easier to have the dog owners train their dogs and keep them under control? It's a hard one isn't it?

Maybe it should be in the school curriculum - "a BIG no no to stare any dog in the eyes 101"

I wish more people knew correct behaviour on how to own pets and train them. I don't blame the dogs. I blame the owners and breeders. ignorant people.

Redshoeblueshoe · 13/10/2023 00:13

Well said Pallisers.

echt · 13/10/2023 01:03

Pallisers · 13/10/2023 00:11

It is a BIG no no to stare any dog in the eyes. It’s an act of aggression. He was reacting to this. I wish more people new correct behavior around animals.

Let's see. Would it be easier to educate all the non-dog owners in the world how to behave around a dog or would it be easier to have the dog owners train their dogs and keep them under control? It's a hard one isn't it?

Maybe it should be in the school curriculum - "a BIG no no to stare any dog in the eyes 101"

I wish more people knew correct behaviour on how to own pets and train them. I don't blame the dogs. I blame the owners and breeders. ignorant people.

I don't think you can train a dog out of the eye contact thing, and I'm certainly not attaching blame to the OP.

It is as well to be prepared. The RSPCA website is good on this.

Seriously, while it would be a shitload better that all men knew how to behave around women on the streets, would you not advise your daughter on the potential problems for women on the street because men should have caught up by now?

Missingmyusername · 13/10/2023 05:09

@ToBeOrNotToBee I can’t say I stared that many dogs in the eye why walking them to be honest. I’m not that short….
Now snarling etc I’d say that’s pretty obvious lol

ShippingForecastSnooze · 13/10/2023 05:14

NoTouch · 12/10/2023 21:21

I actively avoid any large bull breeds and the deluded idiots that own them. I wouldnt be in the home of one.

This.

Girlwithapple · 13/10/2023 08:57

OP, as someone who has been a lifelong dog lover, someone who has volunteered with rescue dogs, who has worked with dogs for years and has taken in a number of large rescue bull breeds (not xl bullies), I would say that you have made completely the right decision not to return.

As other posters have said, the dog is now at maturity and his character has changed. As you now know, direct eye is best avoided, although I can appreciate it would have been hard to avoid when a dog so large jumped up on you unexpectedly.

A dog that shows aggression towards other dogs may be absolutely fine with people. To me, the fact that John has started crating the dog when people are around suggests that it is not just the dog's changing behaviour towards other dogs that has concerned him.... His comment of 'I don't trust you' is a real red flag here.

LadyJaneEarlGreyTea · 13/10/2023 09:13

Why do so many people keep writing that the op shouldn’t have stared at the dog?

The dog should have been trained to never jump up at people.

The issue isn’t op staring it is the disgraceful lack of training and the behaviour of the dog.

AlwaysPrettyOnTheInside · 13/10/2023 10:17

Staring in the eyes isn't a trainable thing. Its dog language. Yes the dog should be trained, and shouldn't jump up but like a PP said, you cant train the eye staring thing out. You cant train a naturally dominant dog to be submissive, that will always be underlying imo, however well trained the dog is. And dominant is different to aggressive.

You could encounter this staring issue from a dog that is laying on the floor, the jumping up isnt the issue.

I've got a mastiff and he was laying in his bed the other day and we caught eyes and he locked on. I didn't look away because I know my dog. But like fuck would I do that with an unknown dog, especially a large one.

I'd also like to know what dogs people are classing XL Bullies, because I'm seeing mastiffs, cane corsos, rottweillers etc being labelled XL bullies through peoples hysteria, and they aren't. The XL bully breeds are a version of the amstaff, american pitbull, bully cutta, neopolitan mastiff etc. Not just a large dog.

AlwaysPrettyOnTheInside · 13/10/2023 10:22

LadyJaneEarlGreyTea · 13/10/2023 09:13

Why do so many people keep writing that the op shouldn’t have stared at the dog?

The dog should have been trained to never jump up at people.

The issue isn’t op staring it is the disgraceful lack of training and the behaviour of the dog.

Staring a dog in the eyes is a direct challenge. Its like squaring up or pushing/shoving someone so you can start a fight.

If you walked towards a dog you didn't now, front on, staring it in the eyes with your hand outstretched to touch it on the top of its head, expect it to crouch low, give a low growl, put its ears back, bare its teeth, give moon eye.

If you didn't know what you were looking at, and you continued, and the dog bit you, you'd cry the dog bit you completely unprovoked, it came out of nowhere, was completely unexpected, the dog should be put down, the dog is dangerous.

The truth is you squared up to that dog, it told you to stop but you carried on so it bit. Dogs have a different language to us and people need to understand that.

AbbeyGailsParty · 13/10/2023 10:41

The eye to eye said “ attack imminent” to the dogs brain. Lucky the owner noticed and got him down quickly.
No dog should be allowed to jump up at people.
If you want to stick with your hairdresser I’d say you’ll only attend if the dog is crated or shut in another room.
There’s something gone wrong in their breeding where most dogs might make eye contact but it doesn’t immediately say “ attack imminent” mine wags his tail then rolls on his back.

RantyAnty · 13/10/2023 10:58

Another idiot dog owner with an untrained xl.
Hope he at least had it neutered.

Don't go back and tell him why.
Nobody wants to go to a place of business and have a fucking dog jump on them every time.

Atethehalloweenchocs · 13/10/2023 11:02

Lots of dogs manage eye contact without becoming aggressive. It may not be normal behaviour for them, but neither is living in houses or sleeping on beds. You dont want to be staring at them for hours (unless you know them, my little one loves mutual gaze), but the fact he responded so quickly to eye contact is concerning. I once met a lab in the vets who got really aggressive when I glanced in his direction (no direct eye contact) when I came out of the consult room.The stupid owners were laughing that he was 'grumpy'. No, what he was was a really aggressive dog who ended up attacking others in the park because the idiot owners let him off the lead.

Webex · 13/10/2023 11:15

Staring a dog in the eyes is a direct challenge. Its like squaring up or pushing/shoving someone so you can start a fight.

But this dog jumped up and looked her in the eyes - isn't the dog squaring up to the OP?

VeridicalVagabond · 13/10/2023 11:26

It's not generally a good idea to stare a dog in the eyes, but equally I don't think anyone should have a dog that they can't control or that is a threat if someone does happen to look them in the eye. A lot of people don't know dog body language, and everyone in the world shouldn't be expected to learn it to avoid being attacked.

I have three quite big dogs, if you stare them in the eye two of them will look away or walk away from you, or even hide their heads under their paws. They obviously don't like it but they respond with avoidance, not agression. One of them will stare back, but not aggressively, he's just dopey. I don't think he got the "dog body language" memo when he was born.

Janieforever · 13/10/2023 11:30

Stamp your foot and growl to indicate to the dog to be submissive

please no one do this to an xl bully or dog they do not know and cannot fight off. You’ve know way of knowing how the dog will react , and could easily see it as a challenge as they think they are being threatened.

LouOrange · 13/10/2023 11:34

Hard nope for me.

I can stare at my dog, fall over my dog, play rough games with my dog, hell I could probably physically abuse my dog and it wouldn’t kill me.

For all those that say breed specific legislation doesn’t work… do we have problems with previously targeted breeds now? Nope!

Itsjustmeee · 13/10/2023 12:06

Staring at a dog is rule 101 you just don’t do it

doing it in the dogs home is like asking him out for a fight 😂

Even dogs know this rule 😂

Original poster
DanianaBanana · 13/10/2023 14:09

Tiktok is full of young teenagers showing off with XL bully's with cropped ears, aswell as stupid parents letting them sleep next to their tiny babies and toddlers for 'content' 😞

OP posts:
Original poster
DanianaBanana · 13/10/2023 14:14

I've been pondering today what I could do in future to keep myself safe if I end up in a stand off with a dog like that and there really is nothing, is there?

Pepper spray / bear spray might do the job but is illegal so that's ruled out.

What should you do if confronted by a big dog whilst at the park, for example?

OP posts:
Noodge · 13/10/2023 14:22

@DanianaBanana AFAIK pepper spray is illegal but other sprays which are basically the same thing but not called that, are not (kind of like when amyl nitrate 'poppers' started being sold as 'room odouriser)!