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Original poster

At what age did you start taking your dc to Midnight Mass

53 replies

YoungMacdonaldhadafarm · 08/10/2023 20:43

DC will be 6 this Christmas. We don't really have childcare so haven't been to midnight mass since DC was born. Was wondering if DC is old enough to attend? We'd obviously have to wake DC from sleep for it? If you take your young DC for midnight Mass, at what age did you start please? DH says DC might be bored , but I think with the singing of hyms etc DC won't be. We tried taking DC to Sunday mass when they were 4, didnt want to be there ,said it was boring. We havent tried since.Thought please, Tia xx

OP posts:
Brokendaughter · 09/10/2023 04:19

From birth.

They usually have children's rooms you can bring kids in at the back of larger churches.

As kids, we were woken up to go when very small, or let stay up when a bit older, but we were rarely asleep as it was exciting & we'd see other relatives there.
We always got a new Christmas outfit each, which we got to wear to midnight mass even though we put them on before midnight - it felt like an extra present.

Father Christmas didn't visit until after we'd gone back to bed though, so it makes for a very late night for parents.

CoreopsisEverywhere · 09/10/2023 06:44

Far too young

10+ and only if they actually want to go (said by someone dragged against my will to church services from 0-16 years).

megletthesecond · 09/10/2023 06:46

6 is too little.
Just take them to a crib service on Xmas eve. They're usually around 4pm.

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PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 09/10/2023 06:50

We do Christmas Eve mass at 5pm; we don’t even attempt midnight mass (not least because the kids are 11, 9 and 7 so I’m getting them home, getting them to bed, getting them to sleep and THEN putting out the presents?!?! When am I sleeping?)

DappledThings · 09/10/2023 08:02

Haven't yet. They go weekly but not to the Midnight. Probably not till they're in Secondary school.

margotrose · 09/10/2023 08:09

Honestly, I find it really selfish when parents take their kids to things like this. It's not appropriate. Six year olds should be in bed at midnight.

If there are two of you, then you can alternate years until she's a teenager.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 09/10/2023 08:12

If they don't go to mass regularly then midnight mass won't mean anything to them, and 6 is too young anyway. If you get them into the habit of attending mass, then the age to bring them to midnight mass (which is often at 9 or 10pm now) will be when they can comfortably stay up until that time.

In the meantime most churches do a children's carol service on Christmas Eve and that would suit your DC better.

smokefreefor2023 · 09/10/2023 08:13

Never, completely ridiculous to wake a child up. If worshipping is important take child to 6pm mass on Christmas Eve or 8 / 9.30 mass Christmas day
I've only been a couple of times, it was long and cold, I'd never dream of taking the children or now GC

deplorabelle · 09/10/2023 08:21

I think the younger one was about ten when we started, but we're regular daytime church goers before that. We found it a useful exciting transition once the Truth was known about Father Christmas, and they were old enough to find it exciting.

If you still have to play Santa after midnight mass do NOT take children; you will have no sleep at all.

I'm not sure if it's the same in the RC world but a lot of Anglican churches have moved "Midnight" earlier so do check. Last year our service petered out just before midnight and we actually saw Christmas in clearing up service sheets from the pews and blowing out candles which wasn't that magical tbh.

gotomomo · 09/10/2023 08:27

I work for a church, we have babies in arms right up to centenarians!

Toddlers and young mer are often in pyjamas (new ones they have just received I'm often told) and wrapped in a blanket but they all love how its special. Added advantage, they sleep in a bit.

Mine from 7 were choristers, might have been 8 by the first time they sang the midnight service but dd1 loved it and dd2 could wait until she was old enough to join.

gotomomo · 09/10/2023 08:30

Mine attended from birth but I didn't put them to bed prior, they would potentially have napped in the pushchair as we would have been out, maybe on a sofa. It's a huge treat to stay up so late, mine did attend church regularly so the environment was normal - one plays the church organ now

AdaColeman · 09/10/2023 08:35

I started going to Midnight Mass when I was about ten, it was exciting to be out so late, and I loved the singing and joyful atmosphere.

We went to Mass every week, so behaving properly and being involved in the ceremony was a given.

Wilkolampshade · 09/10/2023 08:38

I was taken from birth. I imagine if I'd cried mum would have stepped out with me a for a minute. But being Roman Catholic there were loads of families with six/seven children (and fewer, obs) all ranging in age from babes in arms to teenagers. Mass wasn't particularly hushed. I remember nudging under mums arm when I got bored, and probably dozing off. I remember the candles, the greenery. Frosty pavements in the dark. I'm no longer a practicing Catholic bit I really value the memories and sense of belonging it gave me growing up.
As for worrying about tiredness etc.... Its once a year! No ones going to implode if they get a bit crotchety the next day. And reading MN proves grumpy Christmas Days aren't limited to those who go to Midnight Mass.

Toddlerteaplease · 09/10/2023 08:48

I think we started about 8 or 9. It was so exciting! My childhood memories of it were great. I still go but am usually hoping the sermon won't be too long as I want my bed.

Sleepwhatsthazzz · 09/10/2023 08:48

We do Christmas eve Mass, about 6/7pm. This service is more directed at the kids as local primary school, also take part and act out the nativity. This may be something local to our parish though. Midnight Mass would destroy our Christmas day with 2 very tired crabby kids. I was a teenager before I ever went to a midnight mass. (we are Ireland).

Toddlerteaplease · 09/10/2023 08:49

But we were regular church goers so knew what was gong on.

Toddlerteaplease · 09/10/2023 08:52

I usually go to first vespers in a cathedral on Christmas eve. It's lovely, but very formal. Lots of kids who are bored to death. I think they think it's more of a Carol service, which it isn't.

Toddlerteaplease · 09/10/2023 08:54

Wether it's appropriate for younger children, Derby's very much on if you are regular mass attendees. If you are then do it, if not then I wouldn't bother.

Fizbosshoes · 09/10/2023 08:56

BungleandGeorge · 09/10/2023 00:35

I’m confused about why you’d wake your child up for midnight mass when they don’t attend Church at all usually. Do you attend? Does your child go to Sunday school instead. I’ve always got the impression midnight mass is mainly attended by drunk adults who are not church goers usually. Aren’t there services for families on Christmas Eve/ day you could attend?

I thought the same. Being woken up at midnight for anything would be quite strange but I think I'd want them to be familiar with the setting/expectation of what might happen first.

My parents were Anglican. My mum went to midnight Mass every year I might have gone a couple of times when I was maybe 12 or 13. There was a kids service around 5pm iirc.
I used to go to church when dC were young but wouldn't have considered taking them to midnight Mass if they had already gone to bed.

Can you and DH not take in turns to go? (And take DC to a more child friendly service?)

3Tunes · 09/10/2023 08:58

Our choristers aren’t rostered for Midnight Mass until early teens - the younger ones do the two Christingles and get the traditional solos, and everyone does nine lessons and carols.

StillWantingADog · 09/10/2023 09:02

I won’t be taking mine at all but I went from about age 10. Was never woken to go though, that seems mean. Stayed up.

RuthW · 09/10/2023 09:07

Does she still believe in Father Christmas? I'd say 6 was far too young. I'd say about 12 would be the right age.

Whataretheodds · 09/10/2023 09:11

I started going at 10 (was in the choir - Anglican church).

Things to bear in mind:

  1. our midnight service was often longer than a Sunday communion, so if your DC can't sit through that I'd suggest it's a step too far
  2. will you have to wait for them to fall asleep before you can take the presents in, if you're a Santa's overnight house?

I agree that the Christmas morning or Christmas Eve afternoon service would be a better move at age 6.

whizzbangpopsplutter · 09/10/2023 09:13

Babies/toddlers/younger children often put in an appearance at ours, especially larger families. Our older ones started at about age 10 or so, I think. Hoping youngest makes it a bit earlier than that.

Like anything else ( booking crack of dawn flights etc) I think you just know your own children. Some will nap happily in a buggy or on your lap for bits of it, some will sleep in the next morning no problem, others will have a very bad night's sleep and be horrible the next day. Our youngest is not great at adapting sleep-wise, so I haven't tried it yet even though I see other families managing it without any issues. Similarly, we don't book 6am flights as it would wreck the start of the holiday.

I do think it's a bit crazy to make Midnight Mass their first time going, though - like going zero to 60. The families who go to ours go every week, so it's a very familiar environment for the kids.

LaviniasBigBloomers · 09/10/2023 09:18

DS was one of those kids who would never, ever sleep in, no matter how late we kept him up, so I wouldn't have taken him at that age as he would have been foul on Christmas Day. You know how your child will react - but if they haven't been to mass before then there's no way they'll understand how to behave, which is disrespectful to the rest of the congregation and stressful for you. Start taking them to mass first, then see where you are in December.