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Original poster

Was this rude?

72 replies

Mayango · 08/10/2023 07:51

A friend messaged me to ask “What are you up to next Saturday evening?”.
I replied: “Not sure. I might have something planned, need to check. Why?”
Friend invited me and dh to their house for the evening, presumably for dinner and drinks.
I replied: “I’m not in the mood sorry”.

Is this rude?

OP posts:

Superhair · 08/10/2023 11:44

It’s rude without any context behind it I.e. not in the mood, I’ve had a bad day etc…lack of further info can easily be interpreted by the friend as you’re not in the mood for her.
I’d not be bothering to extend any invites your way after receiving a text like that.

JesusHRooseveltChristAgain · 08/10/2023 11:47

Yes, extremely rude.

partypant · 08/10/2023 11:53

I have several ND friends and this is just how they communicate so it's not at all rude from then

Yerroblemom1923 · 08/10/2023 11:56

Unbelievably rude, even by MN standards! How on earth do you know already whether you'll fancy it or not when it's over a week away?! Just tell your "friend" she isn't and be done with.

Yerroblemom1923 · 08/10/2023 11:58

As a pp said if the OP is on the spectrum already and her friend knows this is her style of convo then she might just "get" it and not take it personally...

BerriesNutsConkers · 08/10/2023 12:00

Of course it's rude!!!

custardlover · 08/10/2023 12:03

Rude and cold

NotToYou · 08/10/2023 12:04

I assume this is a reverse, but of course it was rude and I wouldn't bother to extend another invitation if I received that reply

margotrose · 08/10/2023 12:07

How can you say you're not in the mood when the event isn't for another week?

MadamVastra · 08/10/2023 12:07

I'm impressed that you can k ow what your mood will be like in a week

Crimblecrumble1990 · 08/10/2023 12:10

Clearly they were going to invite you round if they were asking what you were doing next Saturday? What would you have been 'in the mood' for?

I wouldn't be in a hurry to invite you round again. But I suspect this is a reverse.

Kaill · 08/10/2023 12:15

Yes it was rude. Are you autistic? I am, and it took me many years to learn that this direct style of response is considered to be rude. You need to thanks them for the invitation and express sorrow and regret at being unable to attend (even if you don’t feel either sorrow or regret). You need to give some sort of justification for your decision. Then you need to say you look forward to rearranging when circumstances are more suitable (even if you don’t intend to rearrange).

Thoughtful2355 · 08/10/2023 12:18

Rude I'd of heard " I don't want to. I don't like you so I know I won't want to go to your house next Saturday"

Rxy99 · 08/10/2023 12:19

Yeah, i probably wouldn't have invited you again if I was the friend

rwalker · 08/10/2023 12:28

saying your not in the mood for something a week in advance and asking why when they wanted to know if you were free

is glaring obviously an excuse and if it was a better offer it would be a yes

I’d be surprised if they invite you again

vapesareforsnakes · 08/10/2023 12:31

HelpMeGetThrough · 08/10/2023 09:33

Is this rude?

All you needed to reply was "No". After all, it's a complete sentence.

Simply typing no is even ruder.

PuppyMonkey · 08/10/2023 12:32

So shall we play MN bingo?

*Reverse.

*OP doesn’t return to the thread.

*Did you mean to be so rude?

*Somebody has to be different and say it’s not rude.

*On the spectrum.

I’ve got a full house already!

theduchessofspork · 08/10/2023 12:32

Yes

But anyway how do you know what mood you’ll be in next Saturday?

Cumbrianlife · 08/10/2023 12:33

Not in the mood, so far in advance? I probably wouldn't bother inviting again. I'd have just said I'll check and get back to you. There was no need for that reply. Would the answer have been different if it was a better offer?

HerMammy · 08/10/2023 12:36

A week in advance you said not in the mood? yes, that's rude

Janieforever · 08/10/2023 12:37

lol, is this a reverse. Who would do that. 😂

Canisaysomething · 08/10/2023 12:38

How do you know what mood you are going to be in next weekend? I’d think it was more odd than rude.

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