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Original poster

Was this rude?

72 replies

Mayango · 08/10/2023 07:51

A friend messaged me to ask “What are you up to next Saturday evening?”.
I replied: “Not sure. I might have something planned, need to check. Why?”
Friend invited me and dh to their house for the evening, presumably for dinner and drinks.
I replied: “I’m not in the mood sorry”.

Is this rude?

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 08/10/2023 08:29

I presume this is a stupid reverse.

So yes, your friend was incredibly rude.

Purplecatshopaholic · 08/10/2023 08:30

TidyDancer · 08/10/2023 08:29

I presume this is a stupid reverse.

So yes, your friend was incredibly rude.

This

Pamcakey · 08/10/2023 08:37

On one hand, I have have friendships where I can decline invites by just saying nah I can’t be arsed today I like my sofa and I really value that honesty instead of having to come up with excuses or be pressured.

However, how can you know you aren’t in the mood a week away?

HettyWainty · 08/10/2023 08:42

Yes you were rude.

CatamaranViper · 08/10/2023 08:44

Depends. I could say that to some of my closest friends and it would be absolutely fine. Depends on the relationship and level of informality

Crunchymum · 08/10/2023 08:45

piintheski · 08/10/2023 07:58

In fact, have a close friend who said very similar to me last week, when I invited her over after she got a cancer diagnosis - she was perfectly within her rights to say that to me, it didn't even register as potentially rude until I saw this thread

Well if the OP comes back to explain any extenuating circumstances (illness, bereavement etc) then I'll reasses my opinion but until then she's just rude.

Sorry to hear about your friend.

YukoandHiro · 08/10/2023 08:46

Unbelievably rude.

If it was a good friend I would reply to that saying "charming!"

YukoandHiro · 08/10/2023 08:47

piintheski · 08/10/2023 07:58

In fact, have a close friend who said very similar to me last week, when I invited her over after she got a cancer diagnosis - she was perfectly within her rights to say that to me, it didn't even register as potentially rude until I saw this thread

I think that's totally fair - see also recent miscarriage, bereavement etc etc.

But without a mitigating factor like that it is v rude

Justcallmebebes · 08/10/2023 08:47

Well I would never invite you to anything again, that's for sure

RichardArmitagesWife · 08/10/2023 08:48

Waiting for the inevitable reverse. Of course it’s rude.

PiscesScot · 08/10/2023 08:58

I hate when people preface an invitation with, "what are you doing on (day/night)?"

Just say what you're inviting me to, and I'll either accept or decline 😅

babysharkdoodoodedoodedoo · 08/10/2023 09:08

Unbelievably, mortifyingly rude.

Fireisland · 08/10/2023 09:13

Saying you're not in the mood for something that day/evening is very blunt, and depending on the closeness of the friendship, yes rude.

But saying you're not in the mood for something a week away? That goes beyond rude

CurlewKate · 08/10/2023 09:23

Yes. Incredibly rude.

echinaceadreams · 08/10/2023 09:27

Yes. Can only imagine this is a reverse.

echinaceadreams · 08/10/2023 09:27

Fireisland · 08/10/2023 09:13

Saying you're not in the mood for something that day/evening is very blunt, and depending on the closeness of the friendship, yes rude.

But saying you're not in the mood for something a week away? That goes beyond rude

Exactly. How will you know you're not in the mood. I think you've blown the friendship op

HelpMeGetThrough · 08/10/2023 09:33

Is this rude?

All you needed to reply was "No". After all, it's a complete sentence.

midlifemelancholy · 08/10/2023 09:44

HelpMeGetThrough · 08/10/2023 09:33

Is this rude?

All you needed to reply was "No". After all, it's a complete sentence.

Grin
fieldsatnightfall · 08/10/2023 09:46

You know it's rude else you wouldn't even consider asking MN.

Meeting · 08/10/2023 09:48

Does your mood usually remain exactly the same for 7 days?

Lulu1919 · 08/10/2023 09:52

Yes rude

SD1978 · 08/10/2023 10:56

Going with the old MN revers....

Shoxfordian · 08/10/2023 11:03

Yes obviously it was rude

Steev · 08/10/2023 11:37

Of course

CesareBorgia · 08/10/2023 11:43

Going against the grain, I don't think it was rude. It was an honest response along the 'it's not you, it's me' line. Why would anyone take offence at someone not feeling like doing a particular ything?

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