What life skills are you going to teach your children?

[BrokenChandelier]

What chores or tasks have you assigned to your children to become involved in household duties or to take responsibility for and why?

What life skills would you teach and how do you think this could help them?

Household things like changing a bed, doing a washing load etc

How to cook and check things are safe to eat

How to wash/shave/brush teeth/floss

How to unblock a toilet/turn off a stopcock/change a lightbulb

Swimming/cycling/crossing a road

How to buy things in a shop/budget properly

How to drive/read a timetable

About healthy eating and exercise

Navigate/light a fire

Our 3 under 3 know to put toys away, pull there covers on there bed in a morning, put there cups and plates in dishwasher and they love helping with washing filling machine etc..13 year old helps with everything from cooking,hoovering cleaning bathrooms,grass cutting. We try to teach that not everything is handed to you some things have to be earned by helping out as a family

Chores yes but they come to things at different times I wouldn't force or expect them to become instantly tidy etc.

My main one is money management.

Investing and putting money away even in teeny increments.

Investing in stocks and shares etc and having a budget

Laundry, washing up, filling and emptying dishwasher, cooking or prepping food depending on age and cleaning the bathroom- as in wiping the side when they left a trail of toothpaste.

My DDs were doing these things from about age 6/7 for pocket money.

Kitchen etiquette. I always consider the kitchen a work space. It can be dangerous and so I like to think my kids will be educated on food safety, handling knives, hygiene, safe food prep and storage etc.

That, and gardening. I think its so important to know how to grow your own food. Visits to the butchers is good, my mum always brought me as a child and there was never any doubt about where our food came from. These days, I'm astonished to learn that some kids don't know that chicken comes from an actual chicken. I don't want my kids to turn out like that!

Not a 'life skill' but I'm teaching my children all the different types of trees. Not sure why but trees is in my head as 'general knowledge they should know'.

More usefully, I take them on lots of different types of public transport and explain how they work/how we get tickets etc.

Some of these ideas are good. I like the idea of budgeting and investments- I could involve him with this and put in charge in small budget i.e. food shop. Or when he gets given pocket money, to budget and spend wisely.

I'd like him to become more independent and gain confidence when doing things i.e. asking for help in a shop or speaking to adults about something. Also help him with autonomy and choice of things.

My 5y/o daughter gets up every day and feeds the cats. We’ve not directly made her do it but I guess we’ve somehow taught her how to care for/about animals/others. I think a lot of the life skills we teach our kids are done inadvertently almost, modelled behaviour etc.

I have recently tried to drum in to the kids what to do in case a strange dog approaches them as all these dog attacks in the news freak me out. They already know not to approach them. Not a skill I guess more a safety thing.

I am crap with finances, once they are a bit older I do really want to teach them the importance of looking after their money. Hopefully they take after their sensible father in that department!

I also took Dd to fill up the car and showed her how to do it the other day. I wasn’t shown how to do that until I was about 18!

My two are adults now but eldest is autistic and still is unable to ask for things in shops, thank goodness for self checkout. Another thing he struggles with is choosing things in general but very specifically picking clothes appropriately.

That's one I'd add in. I don't mean crushing individual style, just things like weather appropriate or wearing a "nicer" tshirt to go out for a bar meal and wearing long trousers rather than shorts.

Swimming, first aid, cooking, driving.
Speaking clearly, politely and with confidence.
Diligence and reliability in all things.
Basic DIY, sewing and housework.
Personal care and dress sense.

All the above.

Plus - critical thinking/ ability to challenge / don't just accept the narrative.

I have a boy. He is being raised that women and girls are his equals.

That trans narrative is a bunch of regressive, sexist shite.

Map reading, a love of adventuring and being outdoors enjoying and respecting nature and the environment.

Money management, finances, investments, etc. - All from a very early age, age dependant, i.e. talked about mortgages, pensions, scams, etc when he was mid teens, but talked about saving pocket money, saving birthday monies, etc to save up for bigger things from a very young age, maybe as young as 4 or 5.

Internet safety from as soon as he started doing online gaming or social media - maybe aged 8 or 9, awareness of watching for scams, not giving credit card details out, not "talking" online to people he doesn't know in real life, if anything's too good to be true, it is too good to be true (i.e. "free" downloads etc).

From around 10/11, Computer usage, apps inc excel, word and databases, how algorithms work with Google searches etc., basic app/website design (loads of free resources), simple programming, etc. They don't teach all this in schools, so someone has to as it's so important for future jobs and living etc.

Basic household tasks, again age dependent, from tidying up from a very early age, through to helping with cooking/cleaning/washing up/hanging out laundry from maybe 10 years old. Mowing the lawn and garden care from mid teens. Basic DIY, changing a fuse, wiring a plug, changing light bulbs and fittings, basic decorating (sanding, undercoating, top coating etc), changing washers in taps, finding and turning off supplies such as water, electric and gas.

Personal care again from a young age, i.e. importance of cleaning teeth at least twice per day, daily showers, anti-perspirant, fresh clothes daily, not eating sweets or drinking sugary drinks between meals, etc. Again, age dependant, discussing sexual health etc from early teens, along with anti smoking, anti drugs, alcohol awareness, etc.

Road safety from a very early age, green cross code from aged around 3/4, understanding traffic lights, looking both ways even on one way streets, awareness of cycles on pavements, etc. Taught him to cycle from around the same age, wearing a helmet wasn't optional, nor were seat belts in cars, etc. That moved onto watching how to drive when a passenger, watching gear changing, observing road signs, etc - which made the transition to driving lessons much easier!

Start early and "drip feed" the life skills from aged 4/5 until they leave home!

Most of it can be done as part of "normal" home life, just letting the child watch and help with the parent does things around the house, or as normal routine, i.e. putting on seat belts or cleaning teeth automatically just by repetition.

Household chores are the obvious ones.
Mine are mid teens now so I am focusing more on mental resilience. When they come home from school or college with a problem that is stressing them out we sit down and go through the best way to deal with the issue and why it has (usually) been blown out of all proportion in their head!
I work with a few 20 somethings at the moment that are totally incapable of emotional regulation and any tiny problem is such a massive deal, I am determined my children will not be like this.

Mine were taught to load, then use the washing machine from quite early.
One of my DS's was obsessed with the vacuum cleaner from being tiny. He didn't want a toy, he wanted to use the real one. Now, age 12, once a week, empties and cleans my vac. Filters and all. I'm thinking of renting him out.

So far they know how to: put the laundry on, wash up/ load and put on dishwasher, make sandwiches, use a Hoover, clean the cooker, use a mop, make toast, make noodles and beans on toast.
I’n sure I’ve missed something.

Resilience. How to laugh at your mistakes and not take everything to heart.

How to book an appointment, talk to people professionally on the phone or by email.

Table manners. How to lay a table properly. How to make polite conversation with people of all ages.

There’s so much isn’t there! I started writing a list, and it got longer and longer…

I essentially don’t ever want DS to be stumped or intimidated by anything - I want him to know enough about enough areas that he doesn’t feel anything is off limits.

Partly that is down to class - I remember being a teenager and desperately wanting to see something at the Royal Academy, and not being brave enough to go inside the first time I tried to go, because people like me didn’t go to galleries. I never want DS to feel like that.

But part of it is just practical - DH has no financial sense because money wasn’t something his family ever discussed, whereas my DM was a finance clerk, so I knew all about the tax system and pensions from my early teens. We chatted about it over the dinner table, his family never did. Same with map reading and navigation - my family often went to new places and had to consult a map, DH’s family never did.

I wouldn't include chores in life skills particularly - I think they are different.

I mean, I think all dc should grow up expecting to contribute to whatever household they are living in, and have age appropriate skills to be able to do that, but I think the life skill is more about having the skills to find out what they don't know, and a lot of that is about confidence. It is about understanding that it is okay to not know everything, and that it is okay to ask for help, or to have the skills to research.
So people on here talk about doing own laundry - but being able to work the washing machine at home doesn't mean you know how to work the washing machines in the laundrette, or when you go away to University (if you do). Being able to make a cottage pie, is (in my mind) a by-product of learning all about cooking for yourself - but that isn't about recipes per se (if you can read you can look them up) but it is all about understanding terminology used in recipes, and about which things you can miss out / adjust / add as you go along when cooking, and about what you can use past it's bbe date and how you store stuff, and about things like looking at dates when you buy stuff and how you defrost stuff safely, etc,etc,etc.

But 'life skills' is about so much more than chores.

Basic politics and law.
Setting boundaries in relationships.
Money stuff.

Resilience. Kindness.

The big ones for me are

resilience
respect
understanding money
environmental awareness
cooking & baking
gardening

I will have to leave it to DH to teach them DIY and sewing

When our kids were younger I used to say “being well spoken and having good manners will get you far in life”. Both adult sons have had their good manners and the fact that they are very articulate and comfortable talking to just about anyone commented on positively in work situations. 30yo DS has been known to say “thanks mum” 😁

So mine is 3 she is responsible for
Setting the table for dinner (an adult puts glasses out)
Clearing away to the dishwasher and scraping plates into the bin after dinner
Putting away her toys
She preps most veg for dinner herself (out of choice)- she is desperate to cook dinner and stir the pan on the hob...
Helps with loading/unloading washing machine

These are all life skills. She also will go into the shop and pay with real money regularly- I know she doesn't understand budgeting- but getting used to paying and getting coins back is helping her understand- in a way paying by debit card doesn't help at all...

I was brought up in a very traditional household where DM serves the men in her life. So my brother is mid 30s and lives at home and wouldn't even put his own shoes away, has no idea how to make even simple meals, if he goes abroad she sorts out travel insurance, irons all his clothes, packs his case and arranges transport to the airport

Admittedly I'm harsh on my 2 DS' because of this. They will be able to run a house by the time they are 18. 6yo is responsible for keeping his playroom tidy, every night all legos must be put away, surfaces wiped down and floor hoovered. Both boys (6 +3) empty the dishwasher and scrape and stack their dishes. They set the table for meals. I fold their laundry and they put it away and sort out their socks. Everyone must take responsibility for getting their own laundry in the basket. The 3yo needs a lot of direction at the moment but they are so willing to be involved at that age. 6yo can prepare himself a basic breakfast or lunch.

I'd like to pass on how to attempt to fix things safely. Most oven or similar electric appliance problems can be sorted with a bit of troubleshooting. How to change light fittings yourself.

Funnily enough my youngest’s keyworker at preschool said to me this week she is the only child who knows how the washing machine works in the pretend kitchen/house area of nursery 😂 She has asked me for a tumble dryer for Christmas! She’s three 🙄😆 She just follows me round when I’m doing stuff I guess she’s just taking it all in!