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Original poster

PIL feeding children junk

40 replies

PGtips9474 · 05/10/2023 17:22

Just wanted to start by saying we don't ask in laws for help with childcare - me and dh work around it and sort it between us.

PIL will often call 20 mins before showing up on our doorstep, and ask to have the kids (aged 5 and 3) as they miss them and want to spend time with them

The last 3 times though they've given the kids a bowl of chips / potato waffles for lunch.
First time I had no idea they would do this, 2nd time I gave packed lunches and they came back untouched (in laws said the kids didn't want boring food and so they gave them chips instead)
3rd time as I was packing lunch, they showed up and said not to bother as MIL is cooking some lunch for them soon as they get home, but then they still ended up having a potato waffle each and no lunch was cooked for them

The last time really annoyed me as when I went to collect them, MIL was saying to DD "go on, tell your mum you don't want to go home because you don't like it there, tell her you want to stay here forever" - and then they kept saying to her "you like it here better than home don't you? Tell your mummy to go away" - and DD started telling me to go away and then started kicking up a fuss when we were getting out the door

I was pretty annoyed and said not to teach the kids stuff like that - they took major offence and said sorry they even helped out and that it was just a light hearted joke

If a comment like that pisses them off you can imagine how mad they'd be if we mentioned the lunch situation

DH and I agreed we wont be sending them there unless they change the lunch situation but I just cant believe how they think this is okay to do. How is 1 waffle enough/healthy for a child regardless of their age

Dreading when they ask again :/ .. I hate confrontation

OP posts:
Leftphalange100 · 05/10/2023 17:24

A waffle?! The horror!

caban · 05/10/2023 17:24

Potato waffles for lunch once a week? month? is really no big deal.

roarrfeckingroar · 05/10/2023 17:25

We are socially conditioned to be quiet and be nice. Fuck that:.

You're not kicking up a fuss. You're protecting your kids. You're going to have to have the argument.

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Families
Freddiefox · 05/10/2023 17:25

go on, tell your mum you don't want to go home because you don't like it there, tell her you want to stay here forever" - and then they kept saying to her "you like it here better than home don't you?

this is a problem, and I’d mention it..

but the junk food I really wouldn’t worry about

Freddiefox · 05/10/2023 17:25

Or maybe a conversation?

febbabies2023 · 05/10/2023 17:26

I don't think the potato waffle is an issue... it's hardly a red bull and a family sized bar of chocolate.

The comments that she was telling your daughter to say etc, THATS the problem. That needs addressing for sure

LessOfMe99 · 05/10/2023 17:29

The food isn't an issue. Whqt she said is.

Namechangedagain20 · 05/10/2023 17:30

I wouldn’t worry about potato waffles or chips for lunch occasionally but just one waffle is not enough. I would mention that, but surely the kids ask for more food if they’re hungry. Mine are the same age and if I just fed them one waffle for lunch they’d be asking for food 10 minutes later.

I’d be really annoyed about the comments though, maybe if they responded badly to you then get your DH to talk to them?

whatsappdoc · 05/10/2023 17:32

Surely they were joking? Lighten up. As for waffles or chips, it's food not arsenic.

Gowlett · 05/10/2023 17:36

My mum gives DS chips / plain pasta / toast.
Even if I provide veg etc… DS loves it there.

But he is often a bit “stuck” afterwards.
So, no it’s not great. But Mum won’t change.

I don’t like what your MIL is saying, though.
Most MN MIL seem to be absolutely batshit…

Needmorelego · 05/10/2023 17:37

What's so terrible about a ruddy potato waffle once in a while.
Good grief.

WhileMyDishwasherGentlyWeeps · 05/10/2023 17:40

The comments we’d really need to hear in context. Could be a piss poor joke or a misguided attempt to be kind and inviting. Or could be very unpleasant. Can’t really know.

The food stuff doesn’t matter at all.

Pigeonqueen · 05/10/2023 17:41

You’re being ridiculous about the food.

But they shouldn’t be undermining you in front of the dc. That’s the issue.

JustAMinutePleass · 05/10/2023 17:43

Mum doesn’t believe in giving a child protein. DS loves protein and veg and struggles to eat rice / potatoes / bread though he does like pasta. Mum always, always puts down a plain jacket potato with butter in front of him and then complains to me when he doesn’t eat it.

If the kids are eating and enjoying themselves I wouldn’t sweat it

WaitingfortheTardis · 05/10/2023 17:53

Sounds like MIL is just teasing as she enjoys having them. A potato waffle will do no harm, I find it strange you'd pack them a separate lunch, just let them have a treat at their grandparent's house.

AliceOlive · 05/10/2023 18:00

No more last minute pickups. Then you can schedule around meals for a while.

zeibesaffron · 05/10/2023 18:09

I don’t know what to say about wafflegate! Apart from really??? If its not enough food just say that!!

The other bit needs a conversation - I don’t think they are undermining I think it’s just ill judged teasing!

SallyWD · 05/10/2023 18:09

I agree with others. What she said wasn't nice. Having a bowl of chips or a potato waffle now and then is fine!

Growuppeople · 05/10/2023 18:09

Really! Chips and waffles over chips and waffles get off your high horse. I wouldn’t want to go home to you either

WhileMyDishwasherGentlyWeeps · 05/10/2023 18:10

Growuppeople · 05/10/2023 18:09

Really! Chips and waffles over chips and waffles get off your high horse. I wouldn’t want to go home to you either

Harsh. But very funny.

Puffypuffin · 05/10/2023 18:12

I wouldn't bother about the occasional waffle, but the comments would piss me right off. I hate when people start that shit and pretend it's a joke.

DinnaeFashYersel · 05/10/2023 18:14

Potato waffles - please call social services 😳😳😳

theduchessofspork · 05/10/2023 18:14

I wouldn’t worry about the waffles but I would bollock them from a height for getting your DC to say that

Don’t be a fussy food mum, it’s good for your kids to spend time with their GPS

PreetyinPurple · 05/10/2023 18:17

The food is fine. What she said isn’t. It’s manipulative language for a small child who doesn’t understand and probably finds upsetting.

Original poster
PGtips9474 · 05/10/2023 18:18

Sorry should have explained, I don't mind the odd waffle or a bowl of chips but just having 1 potato waffle for lunch, with nothing else doesn't seem enough. It's happened the last 3 times in a row, so if they ask again this weekend i'll have to say no

The reason I packed a lunchbox is because I dont want the kids to go hungry. My son is special needs / non verbal so he cant speak and communicate that hes hungry. Also I felt if MIL is feeling burdened with cooking lunch then i'll just pack their lunch for them and all PIL need to do is open it for them and let them have it

Yes regarding the comments, initially they would say that sort of thing but the kids were a lot younger and paid no mind, and we took it as harmless teasing but now dd understands and listens to them. She was fine when we got her shoes on but it's as soon as they said that she started pushing me and whinging about not wanting to go home and saying "i want to stay here i dont like your house" and PIL were laughing

OP posts: