PIL feeding children junk

[PGtips9474]

Just wanted to start by saying we don't ask in laws for help with childcare - me and dh work around it and sort it between us.

PIL will often call 20 mins before showing up on our doorstep, and ask to have the kids (aged 5 and 3) as they miss them and want to spend time with them

The last 3 times though they've given the kids a bowl of chips / potato waffles for lunch.
First time I had no idea they would do this, 2nd time I gave packed lunches and they came back untouched (in laws said the kids didn't want boring food and so they gave them chips instead)
3rd time as I was packing lunch, they showed up and said not to bother as MIL is cooking some lunch for them soon as they get home, but then they still ended up having a potato waffle each and no lunch was cooked for them

The last time really annoyed me as when I went to collect them, MIL was saying to DD "go on, tell your mum you don't want to go home because you don't like it there, tell her you want to stay here forever" - and then they kept saying to her "you like it here better than home don't you? Tell your mummy to go away" - and DD started telling me to go away and then started kicking up a fuss when we were getting out the door

I was pretty annoyed and said not to teach the kids stuff like that - they took major offence and said sorry they even helped out and that it was just a light hearted joke

If a comment like that pisses them off you can imagine how mad they'd be if we mentioned the lunch situation

DH and I agreed we wont be sending them there unless they change the lunch situation but I just cant believe how they think this is okay to do. How is 1 waffle enough/healthy for a child regardless of their age

Dreading when they ask again :/ .. I hate confrontation

Have you actually said the words "One potato waffle isn't enough - it's not filling them up. They need more than one MIL dear"

I don't think the potato waffles/chips are the problem - although it's not a brilliant or even adequate lunch it isn't like they are feeding them brandy or espresso or rotten food or something. The problem is telling your kids that they don't want to go home etc. You need to introduce some boundaries here. When they say that you have to tell the PILs that you don't like it and it's not helpful for anyone and leave. Next time they say they want to have the kids you have to tell them that they can't say anything like that again, is that understood? If they agree and it happens again then the next time you have to tell them they can't have the kids for X amount of time because you asked them not to do somerhing and they still did it.

Ignore the food for now. Fix that when you have fixed the ridiculous don't want to go home comments.

There's probably not much point in explaining why either because it will all just end up in a stupid argument. Just state your position calmly and follow through with whatever consequence you choose. If they insist it's a joke, you just have to be absolutely calm and deadpan and say 'I'm afraid I don't find it funny so please don't say that again' (and then leave).

Protect our children from the waffles ??

The food would annoy me but I'd put up with it (my PIL loved feeding my little one crap).

The way they talked to the children and you, that would have me pissed. My DH would have nipped that in the bud, lots of children would have found that upsetting.

Wafflegate 😁

missing the point entirely

I adore potato waffles, especially when covered with cheese & marmite.
The comments are a bit strange, but all in all nothing to get too huffy about.

Wafflegate. I was thinking that and pop it was written 😂

Seriously though mil comments about not wanting to go home. Bang out of order

Waffles. Fine. Let them have 2 of them if it's hunger you are worried about

Indeed. This is such a mumsnet thread isn't it.

"They should lock those child abusers away for life. Little Tarquin should only be fed organic, soil association, M&S potato luxury dauphinoise with Himalayan sea salt. Now he'll have to do a juice cleanse to wash away all the toxins and realign his chi."

Geez, I'd get slaughtered. My 3.5 year old and I dip chocolate in our morning hot drink before breakfast. She has hot milk and I have coffee. She eats incredibly well but also loves her chocolate and ice-cream.

🤣🤣🤣 okay guys. Well thanks, I have realised the waffles arent a biggie. Will have a discussion about the comments though 👍

The waffles probably annoyed you more because of the comments!

I wouldn't be letting them go there unaccompanied again TBH, not because of the waffles but because of the hurtful comments and manipulation. Next time they ask: sorry, they can't come today, we have plans. Can we come over for a cup of tea on Saturday morning [or whatever time works for you]?
Then, leave before lunch!

At least they’re getting something. My MIL would often ‘forget’ to make mine lunch! And she would also joke about them staying with her and not going home. It was obviously a joke though so didn’t bother me

You need to chill out about the waffle and chips. If they aren’t feeding them enough and you know they are about to go then give them extra breakfast, a snack before you go and extra big portion for dinner when they get home.

If you’re not happy with them going over then say you’re busy and cut the visits down.

The food thing wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

But the comments? Absolutely no chance I would be overlooking my in-laws saying to my DD 'tell your mummy to go away'. I can't believe anyone thinks that is OK. And people who, when called out over something they've said, try to claim that it was only a joke are almost always twats in other aspects of life ime.

yeah waffles nobody cares about. its the shit they're saying about not wanting to go home