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Original poster

How to read/react to this

56 replies

Wealllovebluey · 02/10/2023 18:35

name changed because I don’t want to be recognised

how would you take a note coming home with your reception child which read

childs name I am proud of you when you come into school smiling.

childs name I am proud of you when you listen to instruction

OP posts:

dayofcheese · 04/10/2023 06:12

Lifeinlists · 03/10/2023 22:59

Or the teacher might just have been wanting to encourage the child by noticing when she seems happy. So she feels more settled perhaps?

No one told the child to smile.

Who'd be a teacher, eh, with all these experts micro analysing every action?

Show quote history

I am proud of you when you come into school smiling

So when the child comes in and is having a bad day but still gets through the day and tries their best - they aren't proud of that. Just when they are happy. It's a terrible message to send.

OrangeBlossomPretty · 04/10/2023 06:12

nopenotplaying · 02/10/2023 20:11

Oh gosh are you annoyed by this?! Seriously no wonder teachers get fed up. You've got to be joking

This!!

dayofcheese · 04/10/2023 06:12

saraclara · 03/10/2023 23:47

No it isn't. She didn't tell the child to smile. She just recognised a child showing a bit more confidence, and let her know that she'd noticed by expressing it in a way that the child would understand.

She gave up a chunk of her lunchtime presumably (because she couldn't do this in lesson time) to write a note for each child in the class. Something that she didn't need to do. Yet people here are expecting her to sit and over think her wording for one child, when she simply wanted her to know that she'd recognised her progress.

Show quote history

Her progess in what - smiling? Masking her sadness?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General education Primary education

saraclara · 04/10/2023 09:05

dayofcheese · 04/10/2023 06:12

Her progess in what - smiling? Masking her sadness?

Show quote history

You're assuming that the smile was fake.

And yes, it's not unusual in life for people's bravery to be praised.

Don't get me wrong, I do understand the point that's being made, but you're just expecting too much of a hard pressed teacher trying to do something unnecessary, but kind (and almost certainly in her own time) for every child in her class.

Parents don't always over think every interaction with their child and always get it right, and they only generally have two or three (who they know much better) to focus on.

Reacting with such pernicketiness instead of recognising that their child is lucky to have such a kind teacher, seems odd to me.

JellyGrownUps · 04/10/2023 09:20

They're both fine.

Being proud of someone coming into school smiling does not equal toxic positivity or that they would be viewed negatively for not smiling, being upset or having a bad day.

We're rapidly running out of things that are deemed acceptable to offer a comment or praise about. Or conversely to offer constructive feedback about negatives either.

It's exhausting and why there is such a rise in social anxiety.

RockStarship · 04/10/2023 09:26

How an adult perceives something is very different to how a child perceives. The teacher is essentially acknowledging that whilst the child is struggling she is also seeing the little steps forward in how the child is coming into school. And on the days when the child is upset the teacher might be proud that the child is trying hard even on the tough days. When I was little and I felt sad because my parents were divorcing I went through a phase of barely smiling and feeling invisible. And then one day, at a gymnastics lesson, my instructor said something that made me smile and when I did, he made a huge thing about what a beautiful smile I had and how nice it was to see me smiling. And it didn't make me think that I had to mask my upsets- it made me feel seen by him, relaxed in his company and like gymnastics was a happy place.

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