Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Friend makes me talk to her partner-would you say something?

59 replies

paintitgreennn · 02/10/2023 08:56

So my friend of 10 years has been with her partner 5 years.
He is a nice guy and when in social situations we get along fine.
The annoying thing is when she rings me ,she always puts her partner on the phone to speak to me.
"Oh I'm gonna wash up talk to Chris "
So me and him are on the phone trying to make polite conversation-you can hear the poor sod in the background saying no.
Last night was probably the worst
She rang me and we spoke for 10 mins
She hands him the phone and says she's jumping in the bath
After a few mins I said I'm just going to sort kids out-have a lovely night and tell her il text her later.
Am I wrong to tell her it's making us a bit uncomfortable?

OP posts:
DuploTrain · 02/10/2023 09:01

This is completely bizarre.

I was going to say maybe you call too much and she gets fed up, but then noticed it’s her calling you…

Does she think you’re very lonely and she has a duty to call you, and then wants her DH to share the duty of entertaining you?

I’d say something like “haha I’m sure Chris has other things to be doing, speak soon, bye”. Phone down immediately.

ScreamingOutForHelp · 02/10/2023 09:03

Why doesn't she just end the call? Why don't you end the call?

SoupDragon · 02/10/2023 09:03

Next time say to him "do you find this as awkward as I do?" and laugh.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Dating General relationships
Riverlee · 02/10/2023 09:04

She sounds very rude to me. Why ring you if she can’t be bothered to speak to you. If she wants a bath, then end the call, or don’t ring in the first place!

Cherryana · 02/10/2023 09:05

As you are going - I’ve got to go too, bye.

Click.

caringcarer · 02/10/2023 09:08

Cherryana · 02/10/2023 09:05

As you are going - I’ve got to go too, bye.

Click.

This.

mindutopia · 02/10/2023 09:10

Ha, this makes me think a bit about dh. He has a tendency to invite family and friends over to visit, but then he doesn't really want to spend time with them, so suddenly, he will remember that he really must do some DIY task that will take 3 hours. It's now a competitive game of who can ditch the houseguests faster. I make plans and out the door I go and he is stuck with them. Sometimes it's dressed up as 'but it would be good for you to spend some time with them' as if he thinks I'm lonely or missing out (I'm neither).

I wonder if it's that your friend has some sense of obligation that she has to check in with friends, but she really doesn't want to, so she does the thing and then passes the buck when she starts to feel uncomfortable and leaves her dh to deal with the actual socialising. Or she feels like he 'needs friends' and she is trying to pass off hers. But yes, it's weird. I'd just say, well, speak soon then and hang up before she has a chance to pass you over.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 02/10/2023 09:12

Is she fed up with him, and hoping to off load him into you?

HelloItsMeHowAreYou · 02/10/2023 09:12

In the land of bizarre things, you are queen for going along with it.

I expect it's a joke between the two of them at your expense. I can imagine her grinning at him and mouthing "I win" as she hands over the phone to him 🤣🤣

Just say "oh me too" to whatever excuse she gives to finish her part of the call. As normal people would.

anareen · 02/10/2023 09:14

That's so strange. Maybe just cut her off and say "I'll let you get on with what you are doing and we can chat later". Or maybe text to see if she will be free for a bit to chat......?

BMW6 · 02/10/2023 09:15

She's weird as fuck. Tell her to bloody well stop doing it!

NegativeCreeep · 02/10/2023 09:18

Embarrassed to say my own DH used to do this (particularly when we first got together)…he’d ring me when he was out with his mates or work colleagues and would speak to me for a while and they say “Oh here’s X, have a chat….!” and I’d be mortified. I knew them all, of course, but I did say to him in the end that I thought it was weird and awkward for me. He listened eventually. He had undiagnosed ADHD at the time, so I’m not sure if this was a contributing factor?!

Zonder · 02/10/2023 09:30

Say no sorry I'm off to wash up too.

I expect she wants everyone to get on with him. My friend did this with her second husband who frankly was a bastard.

Bemyclementine · 02/10/2023 09:42

I'd have to say something. Presumably you wouldn't ever ring him for a chat?

echt · 02/10/2023 09:45

Off-piste but wash up means do the dishes in the UK, while in the US it appears to mean wash your hands before eating. Which one is it?

Either way it's odd.

Beautiful3 · 02/10/2023 09:50

Thats werid and awkward. Very time I'd say very quickly, "sorry got to go" and hang up.

Cowlover89 · 02/10/2023 09:54

So strange

LakeTiticaca · 02/10/2023 10:11

Oh god my ex mil used to do this when she had friends round and they would have a few drinks. She would ring to speak to ex DH, ex DH would offload her onto me, then she would pass the phone round her tipsy friends so they could talk to me. Pointless, awkward and embarrassing 😳

Original poster
paintitgreennn · 02/10/2023 10:37

No deffo not thinking I'm lonely
Normally my partner is sat next to me and laughing his head off at me talking about the weather 🤣
I have said "oh I don't think he likes chatting to me ha ha " and she just laughs it off

OP posts:
Original poster
paintitgreennn · 02/10/2023 10:38

@echt wash the dishes ....

OP posts:
Callipygion · 02/10/2023 12:40

paintitgreennn · 02/10/2023 10:37

No deffo not thinking I'm lonely
Normally my partner is sat next to me and laughing his head off at me talking about the weather 🤣
I have said "oh I don't think he likes chatting to me ha ha " and she just laughs it off

Oh well, then next time pass Chris on to your partner and see how much he laughs at that. 🤣

Rewis · 02/10/2023 12:48

Just say to friends "not necessary, take care bye" and hang up. It if chris gets to phone just say "we really don't have to do this" and end the call.

GingerIsBest · 02/10/2023 12:52

Rewis · 02/10/2023 12:48

Just say to friends "not necessary, take care bye" and hang up. It if chris gets to phone just say "we really don't have to do this" and end the call.

This. You could toss in a "just send him our love" or "tell him we say hi" and that's it, it's done.

myusernamewastakenbyme · 02/10/2023 12:52

I would be really pissed off with his...I hate phone calls at the best of times and if i had to make chit chat with someones boyfriend i would be livid.

HMW1906 · 02/10/2023 13:12

I’d just say to the husband something along the lines of ‘is this as awkward for you as it is for me then laugh, say your good byes and put the phone down. Really her husband needs to be having a chat with her about how inappropriate this is.

Swipe left for the next trending thread