Frustrated my 15 yr old dd is hardly eating during the day, when at school.

[Picklemeyellow]

I have tried all kinds of foods to put in her lunch box but she will only eat a packet of crisps and a cereal bar.

She says her friends are the same. I have even paid for her to have school lunches but she chooses Pringles and other crap.

I have tried various sandwiches, rolls, wraps, pasta, crackers and cheese. Different fruits. Carrot sticks and hummus (which she eats loads of at home) but they all come back uneaten.

Admittedly, I was the same at that age and my mum would cook me a good breakfast to go to school on but dd will only have a slice of toast and even that gets half eaten.

She doesn’t appear to have an eating disorder as she eats as normal when at home. I make sure she has a healthy snack when she gets home as she is understandably starving, and I always serve a healthy dinner but how on earth do I encourage her to eat something a bit more substantial (and ideally healthy) when at school?

Does anyone else have this issue with their teens?

Dd absolutely refuses to use the toilets especially since they’ve made them gender neutral. It’s awful when she has her period, she suffers from heavy bleeding and goes all day without changing!

I definitely will Seaside3, my dsis had anorexia so I have always have those fears in the background of my mind. She does eat well at home and when we are out etc but I am very aware.

My DD went through a phase of this, around the same time that she was one of the only students still wearing a face mask. I think she was self conscious about her looks for some reason so didn't want to remove her mask to eat. I was really worried about her going that long without eating. After the summer hols she didn't wear a mask any more so ate at school but some people don't like eating in front of others. I would say it's just a phase. Have you asked her what she'd like to eat?

Sorry to hear your sister had issues @Picklemeyellow .

Sorry if I sounded condescending, I was just dismayed at the 'it's normal' remarks. It isn't normal not to eat all day and I believe strongly we need to tackle this belief. Just skipping lunches led to.smaller breakfasts, then smaller dinners and so on. Luckily my daughter spoke to us about it, however, 18 months later it's an ongoing issue, with some very small steps in the right direction.

And every tune she's making progress, school lunches become a problem. There are 2 girls in particular, whomsewm to.influence the friendship group. One who has a parent who comments on her weight, the other has a mother who is always dieting.

So, maybe, instead of dismissing it as normal, parents should be chatting about healthier eating habits, normalising eating breakfast and lunch at home, and so on.

Urgh, sorry, I'm off again, it's a sore subject.

im an adult and have very small appetite, lunch isn’t for everyone. For example I’ve been poorly all week and all I’ve had today was a petite filous yoghurt. If she was hungry she would eat.

@Christmas202 that's not always true. People can be very hungry, but sometimes their eating disorder can overrule this and convince you that you're not hungry.

Having reduced appetite during a cold/illness is normal. Continually missing breakfast and lunch should not be.

DD15 is the same this year. None of her friends eat a meal at lunchtime and certainly not a home made packed lunch....and friends are life for them.

She has a big breakfast of Weetabix or similar, she has a decent home cooked evening meal. She generally goes and buys rubbish from the shop after school which they all share and/or a traybake at break.

It's about what she can control. My oldest was the same at this age. I keep a very close eye on energy levels, talk about healthy balanced meals a lot and let that be something she "wins" on.

My DD hardly ever eat anything at school the last year of secondary.

She used to stay on at the end of lots of lessons to finish/go over work, go to extra lessons at lunchtime to get art work done and was in had a lunchtime club relating to an exam subject. She was just trying to do her best on the approach to her exams.

In all fairness, she did bring it all home and eat it then (although sometimes I'd tell her not to eat sandwiches as they'd been un fridgerated all day).

My just turned 14 year old daughter is exactly the same and has been since year 7. Barely eats at school and just has a little breakfast before she goes. If I am working from home I make her a smoothie in the morning with banana, another fruit, full fat milk and yogurt and peanut butter. It is largely to make myself feel better that she has had something nutritionally beneficial. She is also going through a phase of eating lots of crap despite years of knowing about the value of fresh healthy foods etc...

I feed her well at mealtimes but she eats like a sparrow and always has done. If she is active she eats more but she is fairly sedentary so I think she just isn't all that hungry. And apparently no-one eats much at school. I am sick of throwing about her packed lunches, but I can't bring myself to stop and just not give her anything, and I can't afford for her to have school lunches.

Another thing...my children go to a fairly crappy school, so I am not sure if this is normal, but the lunch queue for school lunches sounds quite brutal. The bigger/older boys and girls push the younger children around, shove past them etc...once a week I pay for my daughter to get lunch at school (chips!) and she isn't phased by it as she is tall and not easily intimidated, but I imagine it can be hellish for some children.

Mine does this. And then gets home and eats through the cupboards like the hungry caterpillar. She just goes with a cereal bar, an apple and sometimes a packet of crisps for the day now and then eats when she gets home, then dinner with us. It's a decent amount of food, but at conventionally unusual times. But I figure I can't afford to send her whole Meals/pay for school dinners that she isn't going to eat on the daily.