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Original poster

Frustrated my 15 yr old dd is hardly eating during the day, when at school.

85 replies

Picklemeyellow · 02/10/2023 07:57

I have tried all kinds of foods to put in her lunch box but she will only eat a packet of crisps and a cereal bar.

She says her friends are the same. I have even paid for her to have school lunches but she chooses Pringles and other crap.

I have tried various sandwiches, rolls, wraps, pasta, crackers and cheese. Different fruits. Carrot sticks and hummus (which she eats loads of at home) but they all come back uneaten.

Admittedly, I was the same at that age and my mum would cook me a good breakfast to go to school on but dd will only have a slice of toast and even that gets half eaten.

She doesn’t appear to have an eating disorder as she eats as normal when at home. I make sure she has a healthy snack when she gets home as she is understandably starving, and I always serve a healthy dinner but how on earth do I encourage her to eat something a bit more substantial (and ideally healthy) when at school?

Does anyone else have this issue with their teens?

OP posts:
Allthecatseverywhereallatonce · 02/10/2023 08:45

My dd is exactly the same, same age as well. I have given up trying to persuade her to change. I try to make sure she has something decent at home. Previously she would not even have breakfast but will now at least have a smoothie 😔.

Original poster
Picklemeyellow · 02/10/2023 08:45

Thanks everyone, your replies have made me feel a little more settled about it, knowing she’s not the only one.
Obviously, if she wasn’t eating at home either, I would be more concerned.

OP posts:
Original poster
Picklemeyellow · 02/10/2023 08:47

Ohdearwhatnow4 Sasly she won’t eat anything sweet for breakfast, I can just about get her to take a few bites of nut butter on seeded toast (trying to get some protein in her). My dd is the same toilet wise, she will hold it in all day rather than use the school loos!

OP posts:

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15 year olds General food
Original poster
Picklemeyellow · 02/10/2023 08:49

SusanSHelit · 02/10/2023 08:34

I did this quite often as a teen, primarily because I didn't actually have time for a decent lunch by the time I'd traipsed from one building to the canteen, queued up outside to get in and found a table. You'd have about ten minutes to bolt something down before you had to leave for the next lesson which was inevitably bloody miles away.

We had 35 minutes for lunch. How long does your dd get?

I believe it too is about 35-40 mins long, she does say it’s not enough to get anything from the canteen especially as the queues are long.

OP posts:
Chipsahoy · 02/10/2023 08:50

My 15 yr old only eats a cereal bar in school. He’s out from 8 until 4.30 and comes home ravenous. He says no one eats. My 12 year old buys lunch every day for now. I’d imagine that will stop when he’s 14

GellerYeller · 02/10/2023 08:53

Yes! Lunch break too short, canteen queues too long, not cool to have a mum-made packed lunch are all reasons mine has given!

TwoShades1 · 02/10/2023 08:54

I was the same. I was a perfectly healthy weight and have gone on to be a perfectly normal weight healthy adult. I also wasn’t a big eater of breakfast and I’m still not as an adult. I really need to be up and about for at least 3 hours before I eat in the mornings and that wasn’t possible before school.

NCforthispostonlytoday · 02/10/2023 08:55

There was a very recent thread about exactly the same. Teenagers generally don’t eat much at school and make up for it once home.

NCforthispostonlytoday · 02/10/2023 08:56

GellerYeller · 02/10/2023 08:53

Yes! Lunch break too short, canteen queues too long, not cool to have a mum-made packed lunch are all reasons mine has given!

Sums it up nicely 😊

PinkRoses1245 · 02/10/2023 09:04

Honestly I'd just leave it. if she's eating a good portion of a healthy dinner, and eats well at weekends, she'll be fine. No point stressing yourself out over it. She's old enough to make her own decision.

SnapdragonToadflax · 02/10/2023 09:09

I did this as a teen too. It was very uncool to eat lunch! I maybe bought a bag of crisps or something sometimes, but didn't go near the canteen.

I don't even remember being hungry. Goodness I miss that teenage metabolism 😂

Original poster
Picklemeyellow · 02/10/2023 09:12

I think my main concern was the fact I also have a ds, he’s 18 now.
He always ate everything I put in his lunch box but then he’s always had a much bigger appetite than dd, even from a young age but we are all different.
But I feel eased to read your replies.

OP posts:
beanii · 02/10/2023 10:30

Switch the cereal bar for a protein bar.

Provide a healthy, filling meal at home - they finish school mid afternoon so try not to over think it.

It's not really that long.

ToxicPoppy · 02/10/2023 10:35

My son was like this throughout secondary school, and still doesn’t really eat whilst at college (he’s 17 now). He doesn’t want breakfast first thing, but now has an hour bus ride to college, so he takes a homemade smoothie and something like a flapjack/breakfast biscuits etc to eat on the bus, then always has a good meal in the evening. To be fair, I only eat two meals a day normally, not a big fan of breakfast, but will usually have a banana and a cuppa first thing.

GoldenKiwi · 02/10/2023 10:45

I also did this as a teen and my mum got very angry when she found all the mouldy sandwiches hidden in a drawer.

Looking back, I have no idea why I did it!

Housenoob · 02/10/2023 10:51

I was exactly the same. Packed lunches weren't cool and neither was the canteen for some reason. It was just junk food as you walk around the playground in your 'crew'.

I think it changed around 6th form when you were allowed out of school during lunch and more people started bringing in food to eat in the common room etc.

Trakand01 · 02/10/2023 10:52

Do you not remember being 15? Even as an adult, if I’m out for food and my friend orders salad there’s no way I’m going to sit and eat a pizza or a lasagne or other ‘substantial’ food. If her peers are only nibbling, she’ll nibble too. Eating more can elicit comments from less tactful girls about how much she’s eating, and it takes longer too. If they nibble then are off going somewhere else, your daughter will want to go with them, not be stuck finishing her sandwich.

15 year olds are cruel creatures. She’s fitting in, it’s a survival mechanism at that age. No one wants to be the odd one out.

INeedNewShoes · 02/10/2023 11:00

My sister and I both did this. The school food was grim and you'd waste your whole lunch hour queueing and given that none of the other older kids bothered with lunches you might struggle for someone to sit with.

We'd just eat snacks for lunch then my mum would always cook a good dinner in the evening. Neither of us have eating issues as far as I'm aware and we both enjoy our food as adults. I wouldn't even consider eating crisps/chocolate and calling it lunch now!

I think this is really really normal and you just have to go with the flow, though I know I'll have trouble taking my own advice once DD gets to this stage!

minisoksmakehardwork · 02/10/2023 11:05

Dd1 often skips breakfast. She packs her own lunch and it is minimal. But, at home, give her a roast dinner laden with veg and she devours it and goes back for more.

I remember as a teen not being overly hungry in the morning and not eating a lot at lunch.

I genuinely think don't make it an issue as that can cause eating disorders. She is otherwise eating well at dinner time. School lunch times are short with long queues and warm sandwiches from home are not great.

Aquestioningmind · 02/10/2023 11:11

Paranoid about her weight and self conscious of eating around others - unfortunately an issue lots of teenagers have. I had it - wouldn’t eat anything at school except a marmite sandwich (I could take an hour to eat it by ripping it up so it felt like I was eating more).

leave her to it and just make sure you’re providing her what she needs at home

Bumblebee1988 · 02/10/2023 11:48

I was EXACTLY the same in high school! My school even rang my parents to tell them they thought I had an eating disorder! Luckily my parents knew I are fine at home. I just wasn't interested in sandwiches or fruit. Crisps and iced jems got me through high school!

Tribevibes · 02/10/2023 11:50

Very, very normal OP. I would only be concerned about this if she wasn’t eating dinner. The best advice is to not make an issue out of it.

Tribevibes · 02/10/2023 11:51

Oh forgot to say my DD is the same. Always eats a big, nutritious dinner and a dessert. Not much is ate at school though.

AnnPerkins · 02/10/2023 11:55

My 6'3" 14yo son takes one sandwich and a cereal bar. I can't see how that's enough to keep him going but he insists it is. I think he would rather spend his lunchtime hanging out with his friends and girlfriend than eating.

He is home by 3.15 so I suppose it's not very long to last and he eats plenty at night.

DangerousAlchemy · 02/10/2023 12:09

yeah my DS also 15 (Yr 11) said this morning he might start taking in a packed lunch as the queues are so long & they only get a 35/40 min lunch too. Some new rule from new deputy head about only being allowed to use the bathrooms during the last 5 mins of lunch break too or some nonsense 🙄 plus not allowed to access their lockers til end of lunch either. Sounds like chaos to me. Cannot wait til end of Yr 11 tbh & end to all the petty nonsense & crazy rules! My DS has breakfast (mostly) but often plays footie at lunch so does skip lunch fairly often. Think lunchtime detentions are 20 mins long too so obviously if he has one of those there's no time to queue & eat lunch either. He's usually ravenous at 4 when he's home & then eats again at 6/7 lol. They'll survive. Skipping the odd meal doesn't usually do them much harm tbh. Fortunately my DS isn't bothered whether it's cool to take in a packed lunch or not & more than happy eating in front of his mates (I wasn't- I wore a brace & became a secret eater when I was a teenager)

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