I live here?

[ButternutSoup]

My husband and I are South African and are immigrating to the UK (with an ancestry visa as my grandmother is British). While we were researching nice places to live, we stumbled upon this funny website called ilivehere.co.uk, where people write scathing reviews of their towns/cities. It must be satire, as nearly every town is made out to be some kind of crime-infested hellhole, which can't be true.

Some of the reviews do seem to contain elements of truth, I'm sure, but which ones? I've always had a romantic notion of living in the Scottish Highlands, but the "I Live Here" review makes it seem like the setting of The Hills Have Eyes.

Can anyone here recommend nice towns/suburbs? Our three criteria are: low crime rate, clean air, and house prices that are not clown-shoes expensive. We don't care that much about weather (my irritatingly pale skin has had enough sunshine for a lifetime and every time I go to the dermatologist his warnings become more severe), so maybe somewhere up north would be nice?

Between the gushing estate agent write-ups and the pessimistic "I Live Here" reviews, I don't know what to believe.

Only fleetingly, although it does look beautiful. I just worry there may be fewer job opportunities for us there as there's just more happening on the main island, if you know what I mean? It seems sort of far away from everything. But my assumptions are coming from a place of ignorance.

@ButDaddyILoveHim It's a pity. But friends of ours are now living in Croydon and pay 1200 per month -- doesn't seem too bad considering it's only 30 mins by train to London?

@ManAboutTown Thanks so much, a friend of mine lives in Cheltenham, says she likes it there.

Off topic but could you tell me what 'PP' means? I know 'OP' but have never seen PP (have already checked the Mumsnet list of abbreviations).

As someone who grew up in Croydon and has lived there for much of her life, I will defend Croydon to the ends of the earth. It's actually barely 20 mins into Victoria so the convenience is hard to beat. But, many people would suggest that Croydon's excellent transport links are the best thing about it (ie you can leave it easily!)

There are some really nice bits (eg south Croydon, Sanderstead if we're getting specific) but overall I would say that, if you're not tied to London, there are far lovelier parts of the UK and you'll get much more for your money further north.

@Baffled1989 BTW I'm sorry for making assumptions about the Highlands being a backwater! My apologies. It sounds really great.

PP is a previous poster.

Ampthill in Bedfordshire is lovely and commutable to London

@ValerieDoonican Hoesit, many thanks for your reply. Yes, coal is huge here, which is why I am a bit neurotic about air quality. I lived in Old Street in London on a working holiday after high school, and the air pollution was so bad that when I blew my nose it was black!

I really wish you well, OP.

I've never been to SA but my dad spent a lot of time there and in neighbouring countries, albeit a very long time ago.

Friends of his in Zimbabwe experienced much of what you're going through now a few decades ago. Increasingly, their letters were dominated by tales of neighbours or friends being burgled, attacked in their homes or even worse. Absolutely horrific. They eventually emigrated to SA to live with relatives, but I often wonder how their children are faring now.

If your move to the UK isn't going to be for a while, is there a chance that you and your husband's parents may be able to be persuaded to join you? Either way, here's to a peaceful future for you all.

@ButternutSoup have a look at the Southwest, the reality of how much sun you get compared with living near London is bugger all difference it is warmer due to the Gulf Stream off the coast.
How far are you prepared to commute to get to work and can you give us a clue as to the industry's you both work in?
Bristol itself can be good and bad but still far lower crime than some areas of London, it has good job opportunities and there are many beautiful villages and towns within commuting distance.
We moved from the Home Counties ( Hertfordshire) to Somerset 5 years ago and the best move we ever made, slower pace of life, friendly people and we both have better paid jobs than we did before and a far nicer house as housing's more affordable away from London.

It is a bit cut off from one mainland, but firmly attached to another - which has been a benefit since Brexit. There are fewer job opportunities than mainland GB, of course, because it's a lot smaller; but it's also much less populated, so less competion for jobs. They may not build many ships here these days, but there's a thriving film industry for example. Do give it a proper look - its friendly, housing's mostly cheap and the countryside is gorgeous (if you don't mind rain).

You might like Saffron Walden (train station Audley End) - it’s Essex but near Cambridge. Nice market town and would tick most of your boxes but equally around an hour to London. There are quite a few nice towns and villages on/near the London to Cambridge train line, getting more affordable as fit head north, though not the cheapest part of the county.

This sounds like just the kind of change we are looking for. Re throwing yourself into the community, my aunt said something similar. She immigrated from to Aus in the 1970s, and she said she didn't look back to SA, she just threw herself into her new life. If I sit around listening to Mandoza and Johnny Clegg and looking at photos of lions I will just feel homesick all the time. And there is so much British history, culture etc to explore.

Be conscious, if you’re planning to commute into London from a ‘more affordable’ area - that although housing gets cheaper, train fares into London at peak times of day add up very quickly!

You have no idea what you are talking about @dontbenastyhaveapasty

They may need to be indoor cats for a while, but we hope to be able to move somewhere with at least a small garden after a while. Will look for ground floor flats maybe. They are neutered males and don't roam.

Thank you kindly. I've had a good chuckle on that website but also wasn't sure how much truth it contains.

I'd really like to drive a chariot. With blades on the wheels

Cottage 2 is DH's grandparents' old house!

No thank you, I went to uni in Cape Town with a bunch of trustafarians, am not a fan.

I'd just like to add, if someone could suggest a town with a funny name, like Twatt, which I think is in the Shetland Islands, you will get double points. I laughed so much when I read Bill Bryson's list of funny UK place names 'Notes from a Small Island'

This thread is part of my research process :)

I was coming to recommend Worcestershire (preferably the east to give better city/transport options) so with that criterion in mind can I commend to you 'Bell End' in the north of the county? Probably not much rental stock there though unfortunately.

Malvern was where my mind first went for you, though.

Our friends who went recently have not had a problem moving their money, although there was a tax. My company is an SA company, a legal publisher. I edit law content, legal books and journals. But we have LexisNexis in SA and they are UK based so maybe I should defect to them haha. Will see. I see the average salary for a copy editor in the UK is around 30k but am hoping mine would be more due to my niche specialisation and years of experience?

Yes I think up north would be best. I made a conservative estimate of our possible salaries as I have no idea. Average salary for copy or sub editors is about 30k, but I am a senior editor now and have specialised in law content, so I would hope my salary would be more. I haven't applied anywhere yet. Same with husband, he is a senior web designer.

Re rental guarantors, does that mean references? We've lived in our own home for years, no SA references obviously. Am worried. Maybe we can stay in an AirBnB at first and get a reference from them.