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Original poster

Missing my mum so much tonight

38 replies

omega4ever · 28/09/2023 22:41

My beautiful mum died 4 months ago ago.
A peaceful death at home after a fight with cancer in her 80s.
I think ive been coping really well... but tomorrow is my birthday and I can't believe i won't see or speak to her ever again. I feel so alone in the world without her.

It's hit me hard today and I just wanted to write this down.

OP posts:
honeyfox · 28/09/2023 22:43

I hear you. I lost my mum when I was 32, she was 56. It never goes away but you will be able to cope. It just takes time. Birthdays and Christmas are very hard x

Excitingnewusername · 28/09/2023 22:45

I'm so sorry for your loss. x

IdaPrentice · 28/09/2023 22:46

Bless you Omega, it's so hard - I've travelled this road too. Could you do something like light a candle for her? I hope you'll be seeing family or friends tomorrow.

Butteredtoast55 · 28/09/2023 22:46

I'm so sorry. Sending you strength to get through tomorrow xxx

Quitelikeit · 28/09/2023 22:47

I feel your pain. Sending hugs. It’s awful isn’t it? I’m dreading Christmas too

Mischance · 28/09/2023 22:58

Sending a handhold.

WaxingGibbon · 28/09/2023 22:59

I'm so sorry for your loss, and also wanted to send you some strength for tomorrow, and a gentle birthday hug x

Sophia89 · 28/09/2023 23:02

Gosh I felt your pain reading your post OP.
I'm so sorry for your loss, it must be so difficult. I wish you lots of strength x

Notonthestairs · 28/09/2023 23:02

The first birthday without your Mum is very hard. It's alright to find it hard. I'm sure you brought her a great deal of joy and she knew how much you loved her. Flowers

tapdancingmum · 28/09/2023 23:04

I know how you feel. My mum died in June, very suddenly and unexpected and I'm really struggling today. No significance in the date, unlike yourself but I'm just feeling extreme sadness and feel lost. It is my wedding anniversary next week and would've been hers the day after so it may be that.

Have a lovely birthday as you can tomorrow 😘

Ifyouarehappyandyouknowit123 · 28/09/2023 23:08

Sorry op.
"As far as I can see, grief will never truly end. It may become softer over time, more gentle, and some days will feel sharp, but grief will last as long as love does- forever. It's simply the way the absence of your love one manifests in your heart. A deep longing, accompanied by the deepest love." - Scribbles and Crumbs
My mum died 20 years ago when I was a teenager and this quote couldn't be more true.

mrsfollowill · 28/09/2023 23:08

So sorry @omega4ever it's a cliche but time is a healer. The first year is very raw - and the years after to be honest. I lost my lovely Dad to cancer 20 years ago and I used to get irrationally annoyed at people who were just living their lives- laughing/joking and having fun! How dare they.
It gets better in time though. I'm just going through it with mum now. She was the rock who nursed Dad til the end and I'm the one looking after her now. She is nearly 80 and we have a painful road ahead. I promised Dad I would look after her once he was gone and I'm doing my bit. Much sympathy to you Flowers

cushioncovers · 28/09/2023 23:10

I hear you op. I lost my mum 2 years ago. I miss her so so much. I still can't believe I've got to live the rest of my life without her.

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 28/09/2023 23:12

Nothing useful to add, I just wanted to say sorry for your loss. My parents are elderly and I am dreading going through the same thing. Time will not lessen the grief, but it will give you longer and longer periods without pain, until you get to the point that you will remember her with a smile rather than tears. God Bless x

AbbeyGailsParty · 28/09/2023 23:14

I’m so sorry. Birthdays, anniversaries are always hard.
I’ve found it slightly easier if I plan something, maybe buy some flowers your mum liked, or plant some bulbs. Or light a candle at a special time ( do you know the time you were born?) If you like the idea of a tree , or a couple of trees to represent you and your mum, growing somewhere in the world https://onetreeplanted.org
It does get easier, it doesn’t go away completely, but the grief becomes less raw and you’ll have more happy days than sad ones. 💐💐

Plant Trees For Impact

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AbbeyGailsParty · 28/09/2023 23:15

Sorry about the rather weird picture in the link….

CissOff · 28/09/2023 23:17

I’m so sorry. I see my mum going through the same thing and it’s brutal. It was my DGM and that’s been hard enough - I will miss her singing down the phone to me on my birthday 💔

Goodornot · 28/09/2023 23:19

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm going through the same thing with my mum. About to lose her to cancer 💐

Tireddoggy · 28/09/2023 23:26

My darling Mum died very suddenly aged 83 . She had a wonderful last day gardening,spoke to my daughter at Uni ,saw her best friend,held her neighbour’s newborn,cooked her dinner,did the washing up and we then think she went to bed ,got up feeling unwell and died in her conservatory.
Happened 9 years ago and still get really sad and flashbacks.
Sending love and my thoughts to you 💐💕

user1471556818 · 28/09/2023 23:30

Sending you a hug .It does get less overwhelming with time .I found writing my mum a card really helpful, I cried but felt better .There is no right or wrong way to greive

loveyouradvice · 29/09/2023 00:38

Sending you a hug... I lost my mother 2 weeks ago today... a beautiful peaceful death and we were with her but I so was not ready to lose her.... It is hard and I so agree the heartache is a measure of your love ... I never regret loving her as much as I did, and do miss her enormously

Defender90 · 29/09/2023 00:46

So sorry for your loss, the firsts are always the hardest.

I hope you have some lovely plans for your birthday and can raise a cuppa or a glass to your lovely Mum on the day.

I lost Mum in 2018, she was 60.

Christmas was the hardest because she LOVED Christmas.

I won't lie, sometimes something happens now and I still go to phone her to give her a giggle.

CallieQ · 29/09/2023 00:51

omega4ever · 28/09/2023 22:41

My beautiful mum died 4 months ago ago.
A peaceful death at home after a fight with cancer in her 80s.
I think ive been coping really well... but tomorrow is my birthday and I can't believe i won't see or speak to her ever again. I feel so alone in the world without her.

It's hit me hard today and I just wanted to write this down.

I hear you... 16 years for me and still miss her, sending hugs

Wiccan · 29/09/2023 00:53

Same here so sad . My mum died 5 days before my birthday . I miss my chats with her . Sending hugs to all . OP sending a birthday hug 💐

Californiabound · 29/09/2023 00:53

It's, shit. I lost my Mum a, long time ago, still stings.