Do your children use cutlery correctly?

[bravoyankee]

My children are 9 and 7 and still use their cutlery in the wrong hands. They are rubbish at cutting food and my dd stabs food with her fork facing the wrong way.
I've told them a thousand times and they still don't do it right.
We were at a family meal with my 2 and 2 x 10 year olds at the weekend and all 4 of them held their cutlery in the wrong hands.
They both have school dinners every day so they use cutlery at least twice a day and still haven't got the hang of it.
Any suggestions?
I'm sure I was reminded daily at school to swap my hands over when eating school dinners. Do they not do that these days?

DD is left handed and manages better using cutlery the "wrong" way and I manage better holding it the way I do what is wrong with that? We don't throw our food around,don't talk with our mouths full and stay seated until everybody has finished their meal. Table manners consist of more than how a person holds their cutlery.

My eldest two are 7 and 9 and they know how to use cutlery properly, but mostly choose to eat with just the fork and push food onto it with their fingers! I have resigned myself to many more years of nagging.
I think table manners are very important - it can quickly look disgusting when people don't have good table manners. Many people will notice bad table manners and be put off by them.

My dcs can eat properly with a knife and fork but they are lazy and need reminding to cut their food up constantly (they are 9 and 7).

My 9 year old DSS is incapable of using cutlery. He holds a fork like a toddler would hold a crayon and he can't cut up food at all. I just don't think he's got the fine motor skills for it.

The swopping hands are not a problem as long as all other manners are used.
Open mouth, elbows on table, talking with mouth full, stabbing food? Remove the meal every time they do it after the age of about 3, it would repulse me to eat at same house/restaurant table as someone with poor manners. Hunger will soon improve manners. disclaimer: not SEN/ disability necessarily, I know that.

If you eat with people from around the globe, you'll soon realise that the standard British way isn't the only way. Having lived in the US for a while, I'm very happy to eat using a fork 'prongs up' in my right hand if it's a dish that suits this method.

When my kids were little, like 6 or 7, they had a friend who could only eat with his fingers, or a spoon for things like baked beans. He didn’t have any special needs or anything, just indulgent parents who didn’t want to force him to do something he didn’t like.

My 8 year old uses them the wrong way round too. I've never corrected him as I distinctly remember my parents making a huge issue out of it with my brother and me sat there at the table thinking does it effing matter. He's 26 now and still uses them the wrong way round. I'd honestly never have noticed had they not mentioned it a billion times.

I hear you. 5 and 7 here. The 5 year old is actually a bit better. I don't want every meal to turn into a constant nag fest but I do want them to use their cutlery correctly. I try to let the wrong hands aspect of it slide and focus on the stabbing/not even attempting to use them but it's literally every mouthful they need reminding.

Left-handed people use a knife in the left hand with fork in the right
Not all of us. Leftie here with two left-handed parents. Never used cutlery the wrong way round, never understood why anyone would.

I eat with my cutlery in the ‘wrong’ hands. I’m slightly ambidextrous- but mostly right dominant. Sometimes things just make more sense the other way. I eat correctly and I hate poor table manners, I just don’t see why it’s an issue that I eat with cutlery in the opposite hand.

My son is nearly 5 and he needs his food cut up for him. He’s been staying with his dad more recently and seems to have reverted to trying to eat with his hands! I’m struggling just to get him to use a bloody fork. I was hoping he would be able to start using a knife and fork by now, but I’m at a loss.

No, but then I only use my hands, a spoon or chopsticks so they're not really getting a good role model.

To me it just looks bad if you can't use cutlery as an adult. It's a huge ick, if I go out on a date with a guy who can't do it properly, it'll put me off. Maybe because my mum instilled it so strongly in me when I was younger, but who knows.
They should probably know at that age but I wouldn't stress about it right now. Just keep reminding them every time

I don't really get what is repulsive about elbows on tables.

Lol.

I am right handed, but use my cutlery left handed. I am very well educated and a decent job. To me, when I primarily use a fork to eat most meals, and don’t always need a knife if there’s not much to cut up, i think it’s silly to have to switch hands.

It’s only twats like my relatives aged 60+ that have a problem with it.

No such thing as using your cutlery ‘the wrong way round’.

This really grated when I see it. Usually from adults 🙈🙈🙈

I’m genuinely curious to know in what situation someone would care about table manners of another person? By this i mean things like eating the ‘wrong way round’ or elbows on tables, rather than chewing with mouth open. When I eat, i eat with family or friends. Very rarely have I been out for a meal with work colleagues or a boss I had to impress. At the work canteen people mostly have sandwiches. Who are these people really being put off by table manners?

I have noticed the older generation stab peas and then balance remaining peas on the back of the fork. That is some skill!

Using knife and fork is a tricky one, just practice more general fine motor skills first.

I don't really get what is repulsive about elbows on tables.

Elbows on the table while using cutlery and eating really does not look good.

And even if not eating, it can be annoying for the person next to you, and in a restaurant makes it more difficult for serving staff leaning in to serve or remove your plate.

DD is 6 and we're starting to get somewhere with using a knife correctly but I reckon we're still a good 2 years off her eating in a civilised manner without reminders to cut up the broccoli rather than eat it like a giant lollipop from the fork.

This, I'm right handed so it makes sense for my fork to be in my right hand to me? I eat this way, so does DH.

My son uses it the 'wrong' way around. He's 20. But it's like for that particular task he's left handed (three of his grandparents were left handed). Doesn't bother me.
I hate it when people hold the knife like a pen too!
I'm guilty of cutting up all my food first then putting my knife down and eating with the fork in my right hand - wouldn't do that in company though.

No we don't. My daughter and I and several members of our family are left handed. We all eat correctly with the fork on the left and knife on the right. It would never have occurred to me to do it any other way.

I've never taken any offence to holding cutlery in the wrong hands but I cannot stand it when kids or adults eat with their mouths open. I cannot believe how many kids do it, and so many playdates have been with their parents present and they do not ask them to close their mouths.

I'm 62, eating peas this way has always struck me as ridiculous. Much better - less fiddly and less likely to end up with peas on the floor - to use the fork American-style for peas, corn kernels etc.

The "wrong" hands comes from not bashing elbows at the table and the cut of blades of knifes and other cutlery being designed for right-handed use, but it also comes from an era when there was no tolerance of being left-handed. There is a slight practical point to it, but if you favour the "wrong" hand, that advantage is lost.

I have a dyspraxic, autistic 12yo and table ettiquette is a huge challenge and not a hill worth dying on. I tried valliently before the extent of his difficulties became clear. 99% of the meals he's had have been at a table. We've tried so many kinds of cutlery. We've tried helping with technique, but he struggles with change, his sensory input is scrambled up, he's too hangry to take advice, and he won't try things out of a practical context.

We still have to start every meal with "sit before eating". Instinctively he will see food and grab for it with his hand. He just can't cope with using a knife and fork simultaneously. I still have to cut harder foods like meat for him. He has to have plenty of space on the plate or it just shoots off onto the wipe clean table cloth, onto the floor or occasionally over his shoulder.

Some points like asking before leaving and asking before seconds/ taking the last, we have made good progress on. On-going battles include "no knees at the table" and "line yourself up with the food" because that helps avoid scattering the food and improves the chances of it landing back on the plate.

His issues are very much invisible disabilities and it's a fine line between encouraging realistic development of skills and turning every meal into a stressful battle with meltdowns. He does a lot of fine motor activities like lego and warhammer, but it's a different range of movement and pressure.

I'm left handed and this is the way I was taught to hold a knife and fork.