Sad to realise that my grandmother has no interests outside the men in her life

[RomaniIteDomum]

I am the family cake maker.
My grandmother turns 90 this year so I was planning a special cake.
I usually theme cakes to the recipient and their interest so I sat down yesterday and started sketching ideas. But I realised that this woman has practically no interests.

Every interest she has or had is in relation to the men in her life.

She has been defined her whole life by either being her father's daughter (still is to many of the older generation in about town), her husband's wife or her sons' mother.

I was chatting to my sister about ideas and all we could come up with is gundogs, gardening and rugby.
The gundogs were in relation to her father and his job, the garden was out of necessity because my grandfather wanted and enjoyed a big garden, and the rugby was because all her sons played.

Everything she watched on the TV was dictated by my grandfather.

She didn't read, cook or go to any social clubs.

I just find it all a bit sad.

I'd say very normal for her generation, my grandmother was the same, reminisced about times with my grandad, boasted about her son (despite also having a daughter) and spoke about her dad a lot. They were brought up to marry, raise children and hold down the household. Also raised in a time where men were seen as superior.

Should add she was very happy and loved so it didn't seem sad to me. She probably thought I had a sad life as I lead a life completely opposite to her. Just different times

I wonder what my grandchild will think when she realises a Buffy the Vampire Slayer cake would be the most fitting celebration for me.

Is it really a generational thing? My mother would be older than 90 if she was alive. She had loads of interests in life, including when we were children. She went swimming, took french classes, went to dog shows with our dog, met her friends regularly, went away with them occasionally, had a women's meditation group that met once a week until she died. Had little interest in cooking though.

@RomaniIteDomum you seem to be very unaware of how different lives have been for the generations of women before us.

There's a whole pile of bloody ridiculous posts to this thread! My mum, who's over 90, has always had her own hobbies & interests as well as a large family, bullying husband and tiny budget.

Having a thought & feeling about something does not = judging.

Some women subsume themselves in their husbands & children; it's not much to do with age. I happen to find it a little sad, too. Is no-one allowed to talk about things any more??

Maybe having a shared interest with her father or husband added to her enjoyment? It’s a bit off to assume these weren’t genuine interests just because she came to them through a loved one.

You do sound dismissive, OP.

Posters need to read at least the OP’s posts.
Its a short thread but it will enlighten them…..