I’m making myself fat and unhealthy

[Justincasepocketjustincase]

I’m a SAHM to a 2 year old and I don’t know what’s got into me these last few months but I’ve become so lazy. I’m constantly tired, all I want to do is eat, I’m always hungry. I’ve got all the stuff in to make tasty salads but instead have just eaten a bag of crisps, half a bag of cookies, a can of coke, and some Reese’s chocolates whilst DD naps.
DD started nursery 2 weeks ago, two mornings a week, so I could find a class/gym/walk but all I’ve done on those days is housework/lists of how to get healthy/look on my phone. How the hell do I break this cycle? Today I’ve been in tears as I just can’t get my act together and I’ve wasted the morning again. None of my clothes fit either but I don’t want to leave the house in my joggers as I look such a mess. I sound depressed but I’ve nothing to be depressed about!

Are you actually overweight or just bigger? Would you mind telling us your BMI?

My recommendation for weight loss is weight loss surgery but I appreciate it's not for everyone.

Have a look at the recipes you want to make for the week, write yourself the shopping list and go get your groceries. Don't deviate from the list and pick up extra snacks like crisps and chocolate. If it helps, get the shopping delivered.
Buy yourself some new workout clothes.
Up your water intake.
If you have Netflix, Nike trainers have a huge selection of workouts on there from beginner to more intense stuff using weights. They range from 10-40 minutes and you could do those whilst little one naps.
Get that first workout in early in the week.

Those are just a few things I do when I'm in a slump. I don't love working out, some days I really have to push myself to just do it but when it's done I feel great and have so much more energy for the rest of the day to do the mundane tasks of running a house and have a lot more energy for my toddler. If you're not feeling up to jumping straight into a workout go for a long walk with little one, just being outside gets me out of the funk.
I was caught in a cycle of eating crap, lounging on the sofa, letting the small jobs in the house turn into bigger jobs etc. Now that I plan my meals, do two workouts a week and drink a shit tonne of water, my house is better for it and I feel like I have a bit of a spring in my step again. It's not easy to get started though when you're feeling stuck.

I don’t know my bmi but no I’m not really fat but just feel fat for me if that makes sense? That was the wrong word to use, I’m so emotional today and not thinking straight. I’m 9.5 stone and 5 foot 1. Size 10 on top and probably a 12 bottom. Everything around my middle has expanded but I know it’s down to awful diet (I can not stop eating sugar), and I’ve headaches everyday. I barely leave the house unless it’s a school/nursery/club/shop run.
How do people pull themselves out of such a rut and get motivated? All I want to do today is cry.

Eating too many carbs, makes you want to eat more carbs.
Cut the processed foods out, focus on protein and healthy fats.
Read, good calories bad calories by Gary Taubes, or any of his other books. Read the obesity code, by Jason fung.
If you learn why your body is telling you to eat the way you are eating, you can change it.
Good luck with it.

@Justincasepocketjustincase I know it's expensive but have you considered a coach? I have one that I work with online and it really helped me get started, it held me accountable. I wasn't overweight but I felt it too and all of my clothes were really tight and I was lethargic all of the time. I eat roughly 1,700 calories a day, do two workouts and try to get 8000 steps in a day (which isn't too hard running after a toddler) and I've lost 11lbs.

Are there any local sources of support? Mother and child fitness classes or similar?
It's a great start that you've made your lists. Write down why you want to make a change. Think positive - think about what you will gain from making healthier food choices and taking regular exercise. Don't talk to yourself in a hateful way, it's totally counterproductive. What would you say to a friend in your position?

When in the day do you have most energy and discipline? Choose that time to do a 15 minute workout, or go for a brisk walk, or prep a healthy meal.

Stop buying coke, sugary snacks, and junk food.
Can you get your partner on side?
Don't worry about what you look like when you go out - you'll be lapping everyone on the couch.

I can’t believe the first recommendation on here is surgery ffs. Agree with reducing refined carbs, fill up on protein & healthy fats. Get walking outside every day.

This was me OP. Although I am significantly heavier than you are.

It's an awful cucle and really impacts your mental health. The way I have pulled myself out is by joining a slimming world group. I go in the evening my hubby is home for the kids. I've found the mutual support, accountability and camaraderie of the group has helped me focus and lose weight and I've also made friends so it's helped pull me out of a rut.

I'm consistently losing weight and very focused on eating well and moving my body.

One easy way is to not buy that stuff or keep it in the house! If you do buy it, buy a small amount and keep it to weekends. If it's not there you can't get at it. It is much harder when you have very young children and I admit to having a poor diet until my son was a bit older through sheer exhaustion and no time to cook as much as anything else. Add to that needing a sugary energy boost! Maybe start by committing not to eat before XX each day - say skip breakfast. While you're going round on your daily at home business in the morning, you can be prepping a healthy lunch you can eat later on. Bit by bit. And drink a pint of water each morning too. From these habits you can expand out to better ones bit by bit.

It sounds like you are being very hard on yourself - could you focus on finding one kind of exercise that you actually enjoy? Once you are exercising you won't want to eat the junk food as much. Also, try not to have it in the house where possible.

I think the more processed stuff you eat, the more you crave. It's easy to get into the habit but you can change it! If it feels like a hard task, maybe try changing one meal/snack at a time.

When my kids were younger I did similar - I would eat an entire pizza for lunch, or eat a 4 pack of chocolate bars in one day. An entire big bag of Doritos and a bottle of wine once the kids were in bed. I think the combination of being sleep deprived and having no routine really can affect you. Speaking personally I think I was also lonely and a bit depressed - not saying that applies to you though.

Decide your health is what matters most along with your kids (you can't do as much with them if you aren't healthy), so you won't buy rubbish anymore. Instead buy more fruit and veg, proteinand fibre. When you crave sugar have a bit of fruit and veg, but otherwise don't eat between meals and force yourself to have good healthy meals. If you do it for a month, it will get easier. It helps if you add in exercise too as it will make you want to eat better.

The first step is admitting you need to change your habits, you have done that so the next step is acting upon it. I did this but it took a few weeks to tale that step. I joined a gym, walked instead of driving, went (almost) veggie and started to.drink lots of water. 6 months on I am a stone lighter than I was. Losing weight slowly and steadily is the best way forward, with diet and exercise

Netflix work outs are a good idea I hadn’t heard of them thank you. I always have most energy in the mornings and hit a massive slump after lunchtime.

I do actually meal plan, and DH does the food shop and pretty much everything we eat for meals is from scratch but when I’m home alone I just stuff anything quick and packaged in my mouth so not buying it is definitely a great idea. It’s like I can’t be bothered if it’s just me eating.

A coach would be a good idea maybe, and maybe a toddler friendly class too actually.
BUT it’s just this vicious cycle of zero motivation…. I almost need someone to shake me to wake me up!

You're probably too tired but I'd recommend reading the Ultra Processed People book. This sounds like you.

Can you swap your meals for less processed foods and try to avoid upf (anything with ingredients that are chemicals not food).

You don't have to eat salads and home made soups. Roast dinners, pasta, chicken and real chips, traditional desserts or real ice cream.

Eat 3 meals a day and eat well at each. You'll start to feel better then can fine tune to adjust your weight of needed.

You are not at all lazy, you're being drugged by food companies!

And a note on exercise, it's good for you and can help with depression but don't focus on it as key to weightloss.

Every quality long term study I have found shows that people burn the same amount of energy for their size over a longer time period (a month say).

An ultra marathon runner uses the same energy as someone who sits on the sofa watching netflicks. I know it sounds mad but it's true. Couple of references in the upf book, plenty more on Google.

Starting off doing it all, while great if you cam keep going, can seem overwhelming.
Try changing 1 thing at a time, once it's an ingrained habit add something else.
I always shied away from this as i like fast dramatic results but they really aren't sustainable for me.
A huge thing for feeling better is enough sleep. I started going to bed earlier and getting up a little earlier.

I started with snacking, I would eat huge chocolate bars, crisps and sweets every night. I told myself I could only do this at weekends, once I was used to that I improved my snacks, found lower calorie alternatives. I then started tracking calories and trying to make better choices, then stuck to a calorie deficit.
I then started tracking my steps and trying to increase them each day.
It's a work in progress but feels sustainable.
Whatever approach you take, it needs to be one which you can stick to long term.

I’m trying a new regime of little and often! I set a reminder to do 10 star jumps once an hour during the day. It’s little enough effort that I’ll do it, and I figure over the course of the day I’ll have done 100 star jumps!

I suggest you go and see your GP to rule physical cause out (like low iron levels). I would also read "Eat Your Frog" book (available on Amazon for a few pounds). It's a small book but so motivational. I hope it helps

Just make one small change to start with. For me that was replacing sugary drinks with an unsweetened iced tea. Once you've made one change you can change something else. The next think I did was to exercise 20 minutes every day. The only time I don't do it is when I'm unwell otherwise I force myself to do it. Just 20 minutes, if I'm tired I go slowly.

If it helps OP I bought a 6 pack of crisps for the kids yesterday and ate 6 packs. It's because I am trying to cut down on sugar as the previous day I ate 3 bars of chocolate. I eat because I feel so tired and am tired because of what I eat. After a few very unhealthy months I had 2 good weeks then something happened, a family thing that involved a very stressful 48 hours and i went straight back onto the processed crap again. I've been in that slump believe me and now I have to find the energy to start over and have those first few good days to start me off again.

I agree you need a routine, set days for things even if they are boring things like cleaning. Having no beginning or end to your 'work' day destroys your motivation I find. I was sahm for 10 yrs so i do get it.

You're doing emotional eating. Work out what's actually wrong and fix it.

A size 10/12 is not fat, you're upset about feeling out of control and naming that 'fat'. As someone substantially fatter than you, I find this mildly offensive. Somehow I manage to leave the house despite my gargantuan bottom.

Treat yourself with love and care and don't fixate on weight.

The first question, I would ask is if you're feeling ok, ie not low in yourself? If you're not feeling ok, what is causing it and what can you do to address?

One thing I would say is that if DH does most of the shopping, get him on board and ask him to buy less processed snacks. What he does by, it has to be accepted that it's shared equally between members of your family. When you feel like eating, is there something else you could do that you enjoy, ie read a book, go for a walk locally for a bit of 'me' time or even do something like that with a friend.

Have you had your thyroid checked? That can go haywire after pregnancy - mine did.

Are you in antidepressants? That can make you crave carbs and have no hunger off switch

You don't need anything to be depressed about to suffer from depression.