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Married man and wife being weird in the gym

54 replies

Nobadvibes · 24/09/2023 12:04

I’ve been having casual small talk with a man in the gym, he is one of many people that I chat to. All conversations are very basic small talk. Good week? Good weekend? Talk abit about holidays and he’s told me the odd thing about his children. We’ve known each other from another gym pre covid where we’d also exchange small talk.

Over the last 6 months he started acting odd, where he directly avoid me for a week or so then go out of way to chat to me. Very odd vs the usual dealings which were talk when we near each other or walked past. Didn’t initially think any of it but he’s then started building weird tension between us so I decided it would be better to avoid. He then started parking near me in the car park knowing I often sit in the car waiting for my friend. If knows I’m in the car he always does something bizarre to get my attention. Not long after this his wife started turning up for sessions with him and he went back to avoiding me. All odd as there is literally nothing going on. His wife has also started turning up without him which seems to co in side with being there. She literally parks herself near enough to me to stare right at me but never close enough for me to directly talk to her. I’ve attempted to go over and chat to her to see what the issue is but she clicks on and walks off.

Fast forward to 6 weeks ago and he has now taken to attempting to talk to my friend that I train with. Similar small talk to ours and seems desperate to get my attention. If I train without her he either avoids me or just stares at me but whip his head over when I look back.

any ideas to what the hell is going on?

all conversations are small talk, clearly not showing him any interest that he’d think I’d be after more. I’ve swapped my gym times but he always seems to be in there. Also note he speaks to a lot of women in there but none seem to be getting the issues I’m having with his wife.

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 24/09/2023 12:12

She interpreted the conversations as 'Mentionitis' and thinks you're trying to steal him away from her.

She might be right from his point of view, even though you have no intentions towards him. Or she's controlling.

theduchessofspork · 24/09/2023 12:13

Something like the above.

Just smile and avoid. He sounds like an idiot.

fiddlesticksandotherwords · 24/09/2023 12:14

He's an insufferable lech and she knows it. She's started turning up because she doesn't trust him an inch.

Interested in this thread?

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rwalker · 24/09/2023 12:22

Wife doesn’t like him having contact with females

Thelnebriati · 24/09/2023 12:29

Going by his attention seeking behaviour, she's right. He's using OP to annoy his wife.

LuckOfTheDrawer · 24/09/2023 12:36

Who cares, just ignore them.

MrsMoastyToasty · 24/09/2023 12:39

He's a creep.
She's got the measure of him.

lljkk · 24/09/2023 12:39

Not your problem.
I wondered if he's in an abusive relationship, but you won't be the right channel for him to get out of it.

fiddlesticksandotherwords · 24/09/2023 12:41

rwalker · 24/09/2023 12:22

Wife doesn’t like him having contact with females

Judging by his behaviour, I'm not at all surprised.

blacksax · 24/09/2023 12:43

rwalker · 24/09/2023 12:22

Wife doesn’t like him having contact with females

I think the word you are looking for is 'women'.

Janieforever · 24/09/2023 12:44

Lot of angst for a random in the gym. Why you so invested ? And all this he’s desperate to get my attention, he clearly isn’t. As your attention is fully on him and you are looking for interaction,

do you fancy him? Maybe he’s worried about you and trying to give you the hint?

AtrociousCircumstance · 24/09/2023 12:44

Obviously there’s something going on in his marriage with regard to his behaviour with other women. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Grey rock them both and try to stop being so interested in it as a ‘mystery’. I get that it is perplexing and annoying but just crack on with your work out at whatever times work for you and tune them out.

StephanieSuperpowers · 24/09/2023 12:44

rwalker · 24/09/2023 12:22

Wife doesn’t like him having contact with females

Females of all species? I don't think we know enough to state that yet.

Janieforever · 24/09/2023 12:45

fiddlesticksandotherwords · 24/09/2023 12:41

Judging by his behaviour, I'm not at all surprised.

Why? What’s he done other than polite small talk?

BlueBlubbaWhale · 24/09/2023 12:45

MrsMoastyToasty · 24/09/2023 12:39

He's a creep.
She's got the measure of him.

This

Cowlover89 · 24/09/2023 12:46

Ignore them

MaudGonneOutForAFag · 24/09/2023 12:46

Who cares, OP? Not your circus, not your monkeys. Don’t give it any headspace. I zone out completely in the gym, to the point where people could say hello to me and I don’t notice.

Thebigblueballoon · 24/09/2023 12:48

Sounds like he’s had an affair in the past and she’s keeping tabs on him.

WaltzingWaters · 24/09/2023 12:50

Just ignore them both completely. A lot of drama for no reason. Don’t give it any more headspace.

NuffSaidSam · 24/09/2023 12:51

LuckOfTheDrawer · 24/09/2023 12:36

Who cares, just ignore them.

This.

Whatever it is it's between them so just crack on with your gym session and stop worrying about it.

Nobadvibes · 24/09/2023 13:10

I have been ignoring him and ignoring her. It’s just very annoying.

I did say to my friend it makes you wonder if his is habit for him. I’m going to ask her to also avoid him as he’s now talking to her when we’re together which looks like a bid to get my attention.

Just to clarify I’m 100% not interested nor gave him any signal to think otherwise. I have no interested in married men and he’s also old enough to be my dad.

OP posts:
anareen · 24/09/2023 13:19

It sounds like he is playing games with his wife. He is giving her a reason to act the way she is and he is intentional about it.

As for being odd with you, I almost wonder if he is trying to play games with you as well 🤔not sure what the motive or gain would be on his end tho. Only thing I could think of is he could possibly be seeing what he can get out of you. I really don't know.

He sounds like a good thing to stay far away from. I wouldn't want to bring any of that into my life. Can you change gyms all together?

RedHelenB · 24/09/2023 13:23

LuckOfTheDrawer · 24/09/2023 12:36

Who cares, just ignore them.

This. You giving this so much beadspace suggests to me that you want him to fancy you and possibly fancy him yourself.

Thelnebriati · 24/09/2023 13:26

OP changed her gym times so thats quite the reach.
Creeps never change, and neither do the people making excuses for them.

MrsSkylerWhite · 24/09/2023 13:31

RedHelenB · Today 13:23

LuckOfTheDrawer · Today 12:36
**
Who cares, just ignore them.
This. You giving this so much beadspace suggests to me that you want him to fancy you and possibly fancy him yourself.

Really? Bit of a leap. If someone old enough to be my dad and his wife were focussing unwanted attention on me, I’d feel uncomfortable too.

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