Married man and wife being weird in the gym

[Nobadvibes]

I’ve been having casual small talk with a man in the gym, he is one of many people that I chat to. All conversations are very basic small talk. Good week? Good weekend? Talk abit about holidays and he’s told me the odd thing about his children. We’ve known each other from another gym pre covid where we’d also exchange small talk.

Over the last 6 months he started acting odd, where he directly avoid me for a week or so then go out of way to chat to me. Very odd vs the usual dealings which were talk when we near each other or walked past. Didn’t initially think any of it but he’s then started building weird tension between us so I decided it would be better to avoid. He then started parking near me in the car park knowing I often sit in the car waiting for my friend. If knows I’m in the car he always does something bizarre to get my attention. Not long after this his wife started turning up for sessions with him and he went back to avoiding me. All odd as there is literally nothing going on. His wife has also started turning up without him which seems to co in side with being there. She literally parks herself near enough to me to stare right at me but never close enough for me to directly talk to her. I’ve attempted to go over and chat to her to see what the issue is but she clicks on and walks off.

Fast forward to 6 weeks ago and he has now taken to attempting to talk to my friend that I train with. Similar small talk to ours and seems desperate to get my attention. If I train without her he either avoids me or just stares at me but whip his head over when I look back.

any ideas to what the hell is going on?

all conversations are small talk, clearly not showing him any interest that he’d think I’d be after more. I’ve swapped my gym times but he always seems to be in there. Also note he speaks to a lot of women in there but none seem to be getting the issues I’m having with his wife.

What everyone else has said. Obviously. Just do your gym sessions and pay no attention to them.

Massive reach for those concluding I must fancy him he’s in his mid 50’s and I’m in my late 20’s. Married men don’t interest me, especially ones acting like a child putting energy into women they’re not married to.

I’ll just carry on ignoring them both and get my friend to do so also.

I’d change gyms but there is limited options and my friend would also have to change.

My guess.

He probably fancies you but the conversation is innocent. He has had an affair previously and she doesn’t trust him

He's a creepy letch and his wife is all too painfully aware, I'd say.

But are you ignoring him? You seem overly invested in observing his behaviour. Is it possible that he's thinking 'She's looking again! What does she want? Have I upset her? One minute she chatty but when I went over to speak to her n her friend she blanked me. Is she jealous?'
Just smile and carry on as normal. Don't single him out for special treatment....and don't over analyse things.

Completely ignore. Don't waste any more energy on them.

Just wanted to post as I have a frienemy like this at work. He asks me to go for coffee/follows me around/stares at me, then completely ignores me, or cancels at the last minute. If I ever ignore him back he completely freaks out and gets cross with me.

I had no idea why he was being so strange - he's married etc (as am I) - but then he got really intense and messaged me on 8 different channels in one night/said I'm his favourite person etc etc. Then went back to ignoring me.

I just avoid him now as much as possible - way too much drama for a friendship. I think he wants women to fancy him and goes around seeking that behaviour - maybe that's the same thing as your gym guy. And his wife might be concerned because he does this a lot (my frienemy certainly seems to have behaved similarly to lots of other women at work)

This couple, both separately and together, seem to be massively projecting their 'stuff" onto you.
It happens.
Avoid.

Sounds like he has mentioned you and pointed you out to her for some reason may of said you fancy him. It is odd that she has started watching you also especially if he is not with you.It could also be that he has searched you on social media and she found out that's if he knows your full name.

Meant not at the gym with her.

@MsCactus you start to question your sanity as it’s very odd behaviour!

@Louise303 I only have Instagram and my username isn’t my actual name. I’m very hard to find which I intentionally do for work purposes.

100% don’t fancy him nor have acted in a way in which would make him think this.

It’s very easy to clock to him watching me as I’m in the weights area which is 80% mirrors so I can see him that way. His wife doesn’t seem to care and just stares even when looking. Example she went on the stairmaster that is behind some of the weight machines and stared at me for 30 mins so hard to avoid.

Thank you for all the replies. I’ll just continue to avoid as I don’t need other peoples mess in my lives.

Also not to drip feed but I didn’t feel it was relevant. I have a boyfriend of 9 years I’m very happy with.

Just blank both of them from now on.

I'd just smile and wave every time you catch her staring.

But yeah don't get caught up in middle age drama.

Honestly? The issue lies entirely with this couple, not you. It doesn’t sound as though you have done anything to encourage this man (apart from being a much younger woman). It sounds as though he wants you to be interested in him.

Allow me to chide you a little. You’ve changed your gym times - you have inconvenienced yourself to feel less uncomfortable. But you still see them so it hasn’t worked. Go to the gym when it suits you. Don’t rearrange your life to please creepy man and creepy wife. And, if she stares at you for 30 minutes, she is creepy.

Ignoring them seems like the best course of action but it sounds like they're not going to stop gawping at you. It's annoying to have to do this, but can you get your boyfriend to go with you once or twice, or have him pick you up? If they both see you're with someone, it might stop whatever silliness is going on in their heads/home.

He fancies you and doesn't see the age difference. He is typical of the old fashioned letch. Wife is aware due to him pulling this kind of crap multiple times before so is marking her territory and warning you off.

Ignore him and ask your friend to move him away from your vicinity if he tries to talk to her. Tell your friend this whole dynamic is making you so uncomfortable you want to change gyms. If he tries to approach you again ask him to leave you alone, after that ask the gym manager to intervene. Time to shut this nonsense down, and yes, it's him.

You have done anything to condone this behaviour by the sound of things. I expect PP’s are right and he has form for this. Just ignore both of them.

It definitely made me question my sanity 😂 but now I just ignore him (and remember he's behaved this oddly with lots of other women, so it can't be me)

I don't mean to sound like one of those glass self righteous posters but if there's no desire on your part to take it any further then why do you care?
Just chalk it up to another example of 'Some people are weird 🤷🏼‍♀️ '

*goady not glass 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

To me it’s obvious what’s going on. He’s mid 50s and presumably finds you and people your age attractive. Hence always staring at you, trying to get yours and your friend’s attention.

his wife noticed something, he probably spun a story that you came onto him and he’s innocent, she’s blaming you and giving you daggers. It’s likely as well that you’re his textbook type and the other women in the gym might not be, she sees you as a threat to her creepy little man

I’m mid 20s and would tell a man twice my age who kept staring at me to leave me alone and wouldn’t engage with him at all. That’s all you need to do, don’t change your schedule to accommodate him

Just ignore them. Or after a while if you are bothered, wave at the wife every time
You see her staring.

"She literally parks herself near enough to me to stare right at me but never close enough for me to directly talk to her. I’ve attempted to go over and chat to her to see what the issue is but she clicks on and walks off."

I'd be getting a t-shirt printed.

Something along the lines of :

• Nobody's interested in him anyway
• Keep him on a leash, love
• Staring is rude
• Say something or bog off

Not really, but it would amuse me to try thinking up something short enough to be printed big enough for her to read (and piss her off).

I suspect others have already hit on what's going on. He has form. What a horrible life she has.

It is clear that he's got a silly crush on the OP, and his wife has noticed his behaviour. Quite difficult to miss actually, and if she's now taken to coming to the gym with him, maybe he has form for this sort of thing. Either that or she suspects the OP is leading him astray.

This with bells on