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Original poster

I've gone absolutely sex mad

67 replies

Widowsfire · 21/09/2023 18:20

DH died just over 2 years ago and was seriously ill for about a year before that.

Before he was ill we had been married a really long time. Sex, when we had it, was very good, but it wasn't that frequent, I'd have liked more but it didn't colour my life the way it does now.

My goodness, I'm thinking about it all the time. I'm sizing up the possibilites with every man I meet, from a new collleague to, the postman, to people on the train, aquaintances from way back, to anyone and everyone I meet at a social event.

I'm middle aged and not especially attractive, none of these men are very interested and if they were I daresay I'm giving off terrifying vibes.

What the hell am I supposed to do about it?

OP posts:
Olika · 21/09/2023 19:46

Widowsfire · 21/09/2023 19:20

As we speak I've just been contacted on the dating app by a lad of 23 🤣 Exactly the same age as my son. God only knows what he's thinking.

I was just about to say chat with younger men... have fun!

Disturbia81 · 21/09/2023 19:57

Get on fabswingers etc

Vitriolinsanity · 21/09/2023 20:45

Good for you OP. I wish I had the confidence to follow you. Knock yourself out.

allhellcantstopusnow · 21/09/2023 21:56

Pedro Pascal you say...

paulinewalnuts · 21/09/2023 22:11

allhellcantstopusnow · 21/09/2023 21:56

Pedro Pascal you say...

reddit.com/r/Pedro_Pascal/s/catKthTOpM

BigSwigs · 21/09/2023 22:14

My friend was widowed in her 40s and did Tinder. She had a ball with 28 year old men not that I am advising this.

2jacqi · 21/09/2023 22:30

sorry but I think you are suffering from depression due to bereavement. you need to see a grief counsellor

Spendysis · 21/09/2023 22:35

Don’t know your age but could be peri menopause sex surge I had that for a while unfortunately for dh that has gone

Original poster
Widowsfire · 21/09/2023 22:45

2jacqi · 21/09/2023 22:30

sorry but I think you are suffering from depression due to bereavement. you need to see a grief counsellor

I'm not depressed. I'm really enjoying life, new job that I'm thriving in, very busy social life, peak physical fitness etc etc

OP posts:
Tonight1 · 21/09/2023 22:47

I'm sorry about your husband.

But you have a life to lead and I'm jealous of the sex drive, I'm 40s and mine is non existent! 🤣

Shame as I've been propositioned by a 20s guy for a few years and I have to explain to him that I don't have a libido.

Have fun and keep safe

Original poster
Widowsfire · 21/09/2023 22:50

Tonight1 · 21/09/2023 22:47

I'm sorry about your husband.

But you have a life to lead and I'm jealous of the sex drive, I'm 40s and mine is non existent! 🤣

Shame as I've been propositioned by a 20s guy for a few years and I have to explain to him that I don't have a libido.

Have fun and keep safe

Can I borrow him? 🤣

OP posts:
Mischance · 21/09/2023 22:54

There are dating sites for people of your age.

pontipinemum · 21/09/2023 22:57

I'm sorry to hear about your DH 😔

I def think some OLD is in order. I'm early 30s but with DH 13 years and met in a pub. I don't think people meet like that anymore.

But do something, get out there and grab the bull by the horns 😂

Tonight1 · 21/09/2023 23:01

Widowsfire · 21/09/2023 22:50

Can I borrow him? 🤣

Show quote history

I'm going to message him and tell him you said that, he'd be delighted!

He was trying to cuddle me last week and I said "do you have a fetish for manky middle aged women?"

Just imagine how pleased he'd be to find a non-manky one! (I hadn't washed my hair, put on make-up and was a bit scruffy at the time)

mommatoone · 21/09/2023 23:27

Good for you OP, theres a big world out there - go out there, have fun and be happy! Lots of luck x

JFDIYOLO · 21/09/2023 23:28

That was me at menopause!

Maybe find one of those 'special' evenings, you know, at clubs, where you can dress up, watch, participate, whatever.😏

toadasoda · 21/09/2023 23:33

ssd · 21/09/2023 19:26

Probably wanting his dinner made Grin

😆

Myfabby · 21/09/2023 23:36

Mischance · 21/09/2023 22:54

There are dating sites for people of your age.

how incredibly ageist.

fetchacloth · 21/09/2023 23:45

Widow's fire. I feel the same but I'm very sceptical about OLD. 😕

Mountaineer0009 · 21/09/2023 23:51

friend puts it down to menopause

MaudGone · 21/09/2023 23:58

Widowsfire · 21/09/2023 19:28

He's an attractive lad and he's written a decent profile too - a better effort than most of the older men anyway. He's been set up by his mates?

Show quote history

Not at all - it's very common for men to find older women attractive. I think it's a confidence thing.

Doesn't mean it would work out in practice - you might not like being someone else's fetish, to be blunt. But if you're mid-50s, lots of blokes in their 20s or 30s are going to find you attractive.

Good luck

FucksSakeSusan · 22/09/2023 00:01

Mischance · 21/09/2023 22:54

There are dating sites for people of your age.

Yes, they're the same dating sites as everyone else uses.

ODFOD.

IHateLegDay · 22/09/2023 00:25

Online dating/start a hobby and see who you meet through it/go to bars or clubs if you want a ONS!

Happy humping 😁

PyongyangKipperbang · 22/09/2023 00:48

Myfabby · 21/09/2023 23:36

how incredibly ageist.

Show quote history

No it isnt.

I am her age, and I am glad that there are dating sites for particular age groups! It means that at least anyone you connect with isnt looking for a 21 bit of arm candy or a rich sugar daddy! All the people there are real people looking for other real people in it for a real relationship.

There are lot of specialist dating apps....religious, career based, age based etc.....none of them are "ist".

bemorebernard · 22/09/2023 01:31

My mate is on fab swingers and has had a much more honest experience on there than I have on bumble !