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To feel I'm being watched in my local Tesco?

59 replies

madeinmanc · 21/09/2023 09:13

There's a Tesco Express near me which I go in fairly regularly as it's close.

I know this is going to sound like paranoia but I can't shake the impression that some of the staff are watching me like hawks. They must think I'm a shopfliter.

For example, a few weeks ago I was using the self-service checkout and I saw a woman at the main till have a word with another employee and he came and stood directly behind me (less than 1 m) and proceeded to watch me scan my stuff over my shoulder, practically breathing down my neck, a bit like if you ever had a teacher watching you work at school!! This has also happened one other time before that. I have also noticed they don't do that to anyone else.

They also insist on speaking to me every time I go in, when they don't to other customers. I try and slip in and use the self-service till unnoticed but if the man is at the manned till he will shout out a greeting to me and force me to speak to him. Again, they don't do it with other customers, just me. Even if I try ignoring him, he will repeat it until I reply.

I didn't go in for a while after that, but I did go in last night and the same woman who had told her colleague to watch me at the self-service till gave me the most horrendous look as I was looking at the flowers near the entrance. As it's just a nasty look, there's nothing concrete I can complain about to the management.

It's just bizarre and really upsetting. I've tried to think when this woman's and that man's shifts are so I can avoid encountering them but I never seem to get it right. In any case, that defeats the purpose of having a local convenience store, doesn't it?

Edit: just to add, the only other thing I do that may be slightly unusual is I don't tend to spend that much money, I only buy milk/fruit/yoghurt etc. as their branded goods are very expensive. I can't see why that would make a difference but I'm clutching at straws here.

Anyone else experienced something like this? 😔 What can I do about it? It's really upsetting to me.

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 21/09/2023 09:15

👀 no not had that problem.

CharSiu · 21/09/2023 09:16

I had this happen once when I was wearing a baseball cap and really scruffy clothes as had been gardening. They will think you are a shoplifter. They may have had a description of a shoplifter that looks like you.

madeinmanc · 21/09/2023 09:16

I know, @vodkaredbullgirl, I feel I've been singled out for some reason 😟

OP posts:
Oooooooooooo1 · 21/09/2023 09:17

Shoplifting is on the rise again. I don't blame them for watching , if you're not doing wrong just accept it for what it is

madeinmanc · 21/09/2023 09:17

@CharSiu I dress smartly and I've never been in looking scruffy.

OP posts:
madeinmanc · 21/09/2023 09:19

@Oooooooooooo1 They're not just watching, they're insisting on speaking to me and (in the case of the woman) giving me evil looks, and also invading my personal space. I am especially uncomfortable with a man standing so close behind me.

OP posts:
GodspeedJune · 21/09/2023 09:20

I would be voting with my feet and shopping elsewhere.

madeinmanc · 21/09/2023 09:22

Is there any point in me complaining to the management? It's really deeply upsetting to me.

OP posts:
truthhurts23 · 21/09/2023 09:23

just say “can I help you?” When they are hovering, they’ll either ask you if you need any help, which you reply no, and then they’ll sheepishly walk away
if they still insist on hovering, just tell the truth “ I feel uncomfortable with you breathing down my neck whilst I’m doing my shopping, it’s rude and you do it every time I come in here”

cocksstrideintheevening · 21/09/2023 09:25

They do this a bit in my local Tesco Express - the theft is rife and blatant though. People scan their shopping, pretend to tap and then just walk out.

fiddlesticksandotherwords · 21/09/2023 09:27

Do you usually go in at the same time of day? Maybe switch that around a bit, and if it is quiet, then go to a manned till instead of the self-service one.

My late DM was an avid fan of M&S and used to go into her local branch several times a week, mostly just for a browse, but would buy things from time to time. She did this for years, and then one day it dawned on her that every time she went in, she was followed around the shop by a store detective. It made her feel really self-conscious and uncomfortable. I didn't believe that it was happening to start with, so we tested them out. We both went in separately, I followed her from a distance and watched what went on. Lo and behold, she was definitely being shadowed by an anonymous-looking woman pretending to be a shopper.

TheFormidableMrsC · 21/09/2023 09:28

I'd have to say something. "Is there a problem"? Also "you are making me very uncomfortable, what is the problem"? Ask to speak to the store manager. That's not ok. It could be that they have confused you with somebody else or have had a description that fits you, however, I'd want to know what it was!

madeinmanc · 21/09/2023 09:29

Going to a manned till is a good idea, actually, thanks! The only disadvantage is that I don't want to interact with the staff after their creepy/insulting behaviour but if it will put a stop to it...

OP posts:
Oooooooooooo1 · 21/09/2023 09:33

TheFormidableMrsC · 21/09/2023 09:28

I'd have to say something. "Is there a problem"? Also "you are making me very uncomfortable, what is the problem"? Ask to speak to the store manager. That's not ok. It could be that they have confused you with somebody else or have had a description that fits you, however, I'd want to know what it was!

This is a good idea then @madeinmanc

Blossomandbee · 21/09/2023 09:33

I was also going to say as a pp has just said, ask if there is a problem. Be polite but firm, ask what the problem is and say that they are making you feel uncomfortable. If that doesn't get anywhere then speak to a manager.

MonumentalLentil · 21/09/2023 09:39

Ask them if they would scan the shopping for you while you watch as they seem very interested in your items.

TheFormidableMrsC · 21/09/2023 09:40

madeinmanc · 21/09/2023 09:29

Going to a manned till is a good idea, actually, thanks! The only disadvantage is that I don't want to interact with the staff after their creepy/insulting behaviour but if it will put a stop to it...

I think they need to be called out frankly. Maybe they need some training. You're going in regularly and spending money in their store. I'd want to know the reason for such poor treatment.

madeinmanc · 21/09/2023 09:42

Oooh yes, you've reminded me of another detail, @MonumentalLentil ! Whenever I approach the self-service till, one of the staff at the manned tills will very loudly bellow at me "do you want me to serve you at this till?", almost like a command- which they never do to anyone else. It's soooooooooo unsettling and upsetting 😢

OP posts:
BBno4 · 21/09/2023 09:45

Yh it happens to me too.

I always get a receipt, make sure you do too.

LoudAndSqueaky · 21/09/2023 09:52

"I try and slip in and use the self-service till unnoticed"

I imagine that's what makes the staff suspicious of you.

Wear headphones so the staff can't talk to you and then use a manned till. Problem solved.

madeinmanc · 21/09/2023 09:54

@LoudAndSqueaky You're right but I've only been doing that since they've been watching me and insisting on speaking to me.

OP posts:
Doingmybest12 · 21/09/2023 09:55

Why don't you just ask a manager if there is an issue because you feel like you are monitored in the store?

madeinmanc · 21/09/2023 09:59

I can't see it going well, they're hardly going to say "Oh yes we did have you down as a shoplifter, but clearly you're not. Sorry about that!", are they? Especially since there could be legal ramifications for Tesco.

OP posts:
madeinmanc · 21/09/2023 10:00

I think a previous poster is right, I have to stop shopping there. Bloody inconvenient, though!

OP posts:
boxedandribboned · 21/09/2023 10:07

This happened to me a while ago at my local Sainsbury's. I'd shopped there for years without incident, but one day I must have done something that looked suspicious, because they started watching me like hawks and the security guard would blatantly follow me around the store. Once I was on their radar, that was that. It was a horrible feeling.

It really irritated me because I'd never shoplifted anything but I knew that confronting them about the surveillance or saying anything would have just created a 'protest too much' impression.

It was inconvenient, but in the end I just stopped going there, and shopped at M&S instead.