General public and the rise in aggressive behaviour towards people just doing a job - DH job as an example

[Picklemeyellow]

My dh has been working in the same job for over 30 years.

He is a road engineer and although he very much enjoys the job and has a great relationship with his colleagues he is finding the general public to be a complete pain in the arse.

He says the aggression towards them is becoming an almost daily occurrence. This never happened years ago and he says he has seen this steadily rising over the last 5+ years or so.

It is becoming such a problem that the company he works for is offering the employees who work on the road, the use of body cameras. They also attend regular safety training and learn how to diffuse confrontational situations.

Road closures appear to cause the biggest rise in aggression. These closures are planned in advanced and in most cases the local residents will have been notified via letter etc. It goes without saying these closures are done so to protect the public from harm, there could be exposed electrical cables and large holes left in the road etc.

However, there are always the few who will truly believe they are above the rules and regulations and feel they should be ‘let through just this once’ and when these people realise the rules can not be bent just for them they often go ballistic - shouting and swearing is the most common (they are often being called Fucking Cunts and Arseholes).

One guy went crazy, ran back to his car, produced his lunch box and proceeded to hurl his sandwich, sausage rolls and chocolate bar at them (what a knob!).

Another work colleague once had a bottle of urine thrown at him!

The best one was a woman who announced that she was going to drive through the road closure regardless of the fact DH had told her there was a massive hole in the road further down and she would absolutely not be able to get through. She totally ignored him, drove past him whilst swearing and muttering. She arrived at said hole and realising DH was in fact correct and she would not be able to get through she proceeded to drive up the adjacent grass embankment, failing to see the ditch on the other side, she drove straight down into the ditch ending up with her car on its side - what an absolute idiot.

They are the lighthearted stories though, what happens when it turns violent?

I just don’t understand why people are like this now. We hear constant stories of supermarket workers being verbally abused to the point they are also being offered body cameras.

People are just doing a job, trying to earn a living, they do not deserve to be abused whilst doing so.

I am 50 years old and worked many years in customer service but never have I recalled supermarket staff being abused at the rate they are now and I dare say the same goes for many areas of the public facing workforce.

What is happening to society, I personally find it concerning?

I think it's down to parents not setting any boundaries for their kids. Those children are going to grow up to be antisocial bastards. It's part of parenting to teach your children to be considerate to others. If you can't be arsed to do that you'll end up with entitled knobs.

This absolutely. I know that teachers are struggling with this in schools so it makes sense that these kids will be highly likely to be rude adults.

I work on the counter in a community pharmacy. We work 4 hour shifts and probably see 150 customers in that time. Around 100 are lovely. Maybe 30 are suffering pain, a bit abrupt and we obviously make allowances. Around 20 are just plain rude.

We have 1 pharmacist. They are the bottleneck. If you "just want a word with them" you are in a queue... the people in the shop waiting, the ones who are coming back in 20 min, the end of life medication, the pre-booked blood pressure checks and flu jabs, the 200 prescriptions that came down yesterday afternoon... the controlled drugs on the order that need signing for, the doset boxes that need checking, the doctors or discharge notes that need chasing... all are in the queue.

when the pharmacist says I'll be free in 20 minutes it is always met with "but I only need a quick word".

Who should we make wait longer? Because that is what has to happen for you to be seen sooner

I work in customer service for an energy company. You can imagine how people have been lately.

I had major problems when my energy was switched to OVO. At one point I was calling and emailing daily and in tears of frustration and helplessness. Sometimes I'd be on hold for 20 minutes and the calls center worker probably couldn't find anyone to help me and were worried I'd get angry so they'd just cut me off and I'd have to ring again.

And still, I managed to not shout or swear or be abusive, threatening or make demands because it's not okay to do that and having worked in a call centre in the 90s, I know how people can be.

I was once in tears because this man was shouting at me and calling me thick and demanding to speak to a supervisor because he didn't believe me that back then, you needed a computer to have an email address!

I agree with @frozendaisy

@BeyondMyWits I was the pharmacist in this situation not so long ago, too many demands and not enough support.

It's really frustrating, people expect you to drop everything (which is rather dangerous if you in the middle of checking a prescription). Or the worst: 'its just a tube of cream why do I have to wait 20 minutes?!'. Because there is a queue fuckwit!

Macdonalds/Starbucks style service is expected no matter the cost. The consequences of a mistake on your prescription are often a lot more serious than getting the wrong burger!

Everyone feels they have "rights" and the age of deference and people viewed as in authority has gone.
It begins in schools, rude and aggressive children mirror themselves on parents. They are quite happy to "sort out" any teacher who dares to discipline an unruly child. The language, threats of violence and actual violence is terrifying.
I worked as a teaching assistant and we have had to call the police at least once a week because of parental behaviour.

I haven’t really encountered this in my day to day job in community nursing there are odd entitled people but I’ve never had anyone be nasty to me. I live rurally for all the reasons everyone else has stated about over crowding, I tried living in a city and lasted 6 months it was horrendous for my mood.

yet when those of us oppose all the new builds on green space and turning of villages into towns we get called NIMBY 🤷‍♀️

I also agree with those that say about constantly being on edge, day after day it’s doom and gloom bad news, people feeling like net zero means we will all need to revert to olden days times of living, just working to pay bills no fun anymore it all adds up. I don’t watch the news or read news stories clearly designed to spread fear and U.K. happier for it

I have a personal theory that the rise of technology and all it promises us has made us very impatient as a society. Computers, online shopping, same day delivery, credit cards, convenience foods etc mean that we now expect everything to be immediately available and easily solved. I find myself getting cross when my laptop takes longer than 20 seconds to load.
We so rarely have to wait for the things that we want anymore.
There is also far too great an emphasis on our personal rights v our societal responsibilities. The rise of the individual at the expense of the group.

I do think for a good few years now the attitude had changed to a just look out for yourself mentality, not looking out for how things affect society a whole. I don't know if it's because of the way the messages are sent out in the media/government putting people against eachother (your life is worse because of people on benefits, immigrants, the wealthy etc) so people are being programmed to look around to blame why there lives maybe a bit tougher and thus becoming more insular, selfish and definitely angry and bitter.

You only have to look on here and people can be encouraged to do acts (be it tiny acts) that may upset any other but it's ok because we only have to make ourselves happy. It's not a good society when it's like that, if we don't look out for eachother, it's a sad place to be, as we are finding out at the moment.

Work in private healthcare, it's fucking appalling at the moment.

Rude, entitled, abusive, aggressive people literally every single day. Worse than it's ever been. And these are largely people who can afford private healthcare out of pocket with no insurance so I struggle to believe it's because they're all stressed about the COL. I got screamed at for 45 minutes by a "Lord" the other day over a £125 bill. I've seen the manor he lives in, he's not stuck in the stressful rat race and struggling to feed his family at all.

I have so much sympathy though with the people who've gone private out of desperation and can't really afford it, but they're rarely the abusive ones. They're usually the most polite, actually. In tens of thousands of pounds of medical debt and they manage not to call me a cunt.

@Smartiepants79 I have to agree with this also. Even down to young children watching Tv programmes, it's all instant, no adverts, no waiting until 18.00, it's all at their finger tips as soon as they require it. It sounds like a small thing, but just building patience from a young age is vital.
People complaining that children have no attention spans when they are being left infront of YouTube to flick through complied videos, and jump around as soon as they are the slightest bit bored, no wonder they can't concentrate.

It's not daft, and I say that as an agnostic.

Abuse is not acceptable but I will hazard a guess why people are so angry.
Life in general is tough atm col etc.
People are worried and stressed about trying to survive so are on a short fuse
Trying to speak to ANYONE in a business who has authority is virtually impossible or getting them to contact you back to resolve something simple just doesn't happen.

This.

And we also have access to so much information, which isn’t always true or real or presented fairly.

Computers, online shopping, same day delivery, credit cards, convenience foods etc mean that we now expect everything to be immediately available and easily solved.

Definitely. And capitalism has a lot to answer for here, too. Adverts and marketing are constantly promising us that one purchase will make our lives so much better - save us money, bring our families together, make us prettier or happier or stronger, make us smile. All you have to do is click and pay.

No wonder people are feeling frustrated and unfulfilled - we're bombarded with this toxic message hundreds of times a day.

For anyone saying it's parents not setting boundaries/kids following parents behaviour I can tell you now that the rudest, most entitled people I come across on a daily basis working in retail are those in the retirement age bracket.

That being said, people in general are just getting ruder and nastier. Sometimes I see customers that have kicked off/spoken to my staff like absolute shit when I'm in the playground doing the school run and they almost seem shocked that I'm a real person that exists outside of a shop, and might have actual feelings.

I try very hard to be nice to shop staff, hospitality staff etc because I know how much it makes my day when a customer is genuinely nice. So sad that it's a rarity.

I don't tolerate abuse to my staff but the company I work for doesn't give a shit, I feel like that's the case in a lot of places.

I had this in the cinema recently. It was an Everyman, where they always give a welcome announcement before the film starts. A young woman was giving the announcement and the couple on the sofa next to me started hurling abuse at her - it was really unpleasant. When the woman finished, everyone in the cinema said thanks and the couple then turned their attention to me, apparently because I was one of the ones thanking her. It was extremely bizarre - not least because this couple were in their 60s. I couldn't quite believe it - they looked so ordinary and normal, but they were honestly raving. In the end my friend and I went to complain to staff, who told us that they get abuse all the time - they just expect it now. They moved us, but we missed the first few minutes of the film and just felt extremely shaken by the whole thing. I still can't quite believe it happened - it was so odd!

I don’t think it’s overcrowding. I’ve lived in London for decades, commuted on some of the most crowded trains in the UK, spend far more of my life queuing than is ideal and generally people are fine. I think it’s because people accept that is the flip side of the benefits of living in London.

Part of it is the always on hyper alertness that comes from technology. I see how much rapid messaging goes on with my teenage / young adult DC. They are used to instant answers and quick responses. It’s the same with work. When I started work my boss would never call or message outside work and I had no access to work emails. When I left work for the day that was it. People had to wait for answers and things to be actioned.

Another aspect is the portrayal of unattainable lifestyles (often very carefully curated and presented) which add to frustration. People are pushing themselves to emulate the lifestyle they think they deserve when that lifestyle is often a marketing fiction. Having a phone capable of flying an aircraft or £300 pair of headphones doesn’t make you a better person or a success at life - it just means you have more expensive kit.

You do realise police are also
Frontline and get shit loads of abuse including being spat on , hair pulled out , physically attacked, threatened with knives and swords etc ?

Police get as much abuse (especially for road closures !) as any other front line service .

Sadly it’s not new, but probably escalating.

30 years ago, as an engineer, I worked with a team that refused to work on motorways after one of them had been deliberately hit by a lorry. Apparently it was a thing for lorry drivers to see if they could clip the workers with a wing mirror.

Yes. And for some valid reasons and others not so much, when it comes to assaults or abuse of Police officers, a lot of people think its 'understandable' if not outrightly saying it's fine.

Just to put a more positive pov, OP, my elderly neighbour had to go to a central London hospital last week for tests. She was really nervous about it — two-hour train journey and then navigating the underground on her own. But when she returned last night she was overwhelmed by how polite and helpful everyone had been. Two men had offered their seats on her tube journeys, a young woman had helped her onto the train at the station and had shown her to the Elizabeth Line when they got off in London. She stopped at a busy cafe after coming out of the hospital and was served by cheerful, friendly and polite staff. She came back saying how wonderful London was.

when it comes to assaults or abuse of Police officers, a lot of people think its 'understandable' if not outrightly saying it's fine

There was also a thread on here last year about GP receptionists. The amount of MNers justifying the abuse they receive was staggering. Always with a caveat 'I don't condone abuse but.....'