General public and the rise in aggressive behaviour towards people just doing a job - DH job as an example

[Picklemeyellow]

My dh has been working in the same job for over 30 years.

He is a road engineer and although he very much enjoys the job and has a great relationship with his colleagues he is finding the general public to be a complete pain in the arse.

He says the aggression towards them is becoming an almost daily occurrence. This never happened years ago and he says he has seen this steadily rising over the last 5+ years or so.

It is becoming such a problem that the company he works for is offering the employees who work on the road, the use of body cameras. They also attend regular safety training and learn how to diffuse confrontational situations.

Road closures appear to cause the biggest rise in aggression. These closures are planned in advanced and in most cases the local residents will have been notified via letter etc. It goes without saying these closures are done so to protect the public from harm, there could be exposed electrical cables and large holes left in the road etc.

However, there are always the few who will truly believe they are above the rules and regulations and feel they should be ‘let through just this once’ and when these people realise the rules can not be bent just for them they often go ballistic - shouting and swearing is the most common (they are often being called Fucking Cunts and Arseholes).

One guy went crazy, ran back to his car, produced his lunch box and proceeded to hurl his sandwich, sausage rolls and chocolate bar at them (what a knob!).

Another work colleague once had a bottle of urine thrown at him!

The best one was a woman who announced that she was going to drive through the road closure regardless of the fact DH had told her there was a massive hole in the road further down and she would absolutely not be able to get through. She totally ignored him, drove past him whilst swearing and muttering. She arrived at said hole and realising DH was in fact correct and she would not be able to get through she proceeded to drive up the adjacent grass embankment, failing to see the ditch on the other side, she drove straight down into the ditch ending up with her car on its side - what an absolute idiot.

They are the lighthearted stories though, what happens when it turns violent?

I just don’t understand why people are like this now. We hear constant stories of supermarket workers being verbally abused to the point they are also being offered body cameras.

People are just doing a job, trying to earn a living, they do not deserve to be abused whilst doing so.

I am 50 years old and worked many years in customer service but never have I recalled supermarket staff being abused at the rate they are now and I dare say the same goes for many areas of the public facing workforce.

What is happening to society, I personally find it concerning?

There doesn't seem to be a feeling of society anymore. Everyone out for themselves. Not sure if it can revert back.

Well, can I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you do...I lost my rescue cat a year ago, the support I received from vets, nurses etc was amazing, they made a difficult time bearable....

The answer to your question is- godlessness, and everything that comes with it.

You are exactly right. This is the result of darwinism and the selfish survival of the fittest mindset. Love self first is today's mantra: not love God first and love our neighbours as ourselves. Today's mess was inevitable. The only way it will change is if people repent, but we are so far gone that most will not even know what that means.

I had trauma therapy about 20 years ago and even back then my therapist said that the world/technology is moving at a faster pace then we as humans are evolving. This is pre-Social Media etc. We're all stressed because we haven't evolved to live the way we live.

Agree with the person who said the social contract has broken down. We're working to pay bills and that's it.

I would never abuse anyone, but I used to be quite kind and tolerant and I feel like my internal patience is gone. My upstairs neighbor is a harmless old alcoholic with dementia. I used to pass the time of day with him even though he can't remember my name etc, plug his TV back in when it was "broken" (he unplugs it) etc. Now when he starts waving to me/asking for something I catch myself thinking "fucking hell, what now." It's not who I want to be, but like everyone, I'm juggling too much for too little reward.

I think the flip side with the social contract breaking down is that it can really hard to find community and meaningful relationships with others even if it's something that you actually want and are seeking out. Even if you meet others through groups and volunteering most people come across as too busy and stuck in their own rut to be open to a new friendship.

I'm more empathetic to this "feeling too busy" state now but my friendless years made me really jaded. It really bred that "what use are other people to me" mentality. I don't know how you change it though, lots of people are genuinely overwhelmed and modern life can make it hard to put down roots and commit even when it's what you want.

It’s societal breakdown.

Were some way down the road now, but basically those that are producing anything of worth are being too heavily taxed to support a bloated system / those that aren’t producing.

Too many people are too close to the edge.

Theres no reverse gear and the only way out is through.

good luck!

I realised how on guard I am to being constantly abused when a woman knocked on my door last week and asked, “do you own X car?”. (Context: having building works so no drive at mo and I’m where there is space. I already been told by two other neighbours that was THEIR space and after a day of abuse from kids I can’t stand anymore confrontation). Geared myself up to apologise and move when she said, “hello, I’m your new neighbour. There’s just my husband and I with our cars but you can use our off side drive if you would like”. I was shocked - I can’t remember when anyone was friendly, especially a stranger!

Everything you do in life today is just frustrating and fraught with some kind of issue or unnecessary stress and delay. This has been made worse by Covid and the replacement of humans with technology in lots of cases. It is impossible to plan and do anything without jumping through hoops, the frustration is magnified when we are sold the idea that doing it online or via an app is so much easier but then something straightforward like parking is a complete nightmare and you end up crying with frustration at someone on the phone because you can't pay and you have missed an appointment that has taken 12 months to get.

I posted this on the “Britain awful” thread. If I can manage to go about my daily life without calling someone a cunt to their face, why can’t I? (Well, I know I’d be sacked and be in the Daily Mail but I think you get the point).

I witnessed a lady abusing pharmacy staff a few weeks ago because she was told her prescription would take 20 minutes to prepare. She became unhinged and began to call the staff imbeciles and said she had already been held up by her consultant earlier that day when they ran late for her appointment. It then escalated to ‘I pay your wages, do you understand that?’

It was fucking toe curling to witness to be honest. She was an absolute goon.

I also believe we have been overwhelmed by a diet of constant bad news and stories of violence. It seems like the world is a very bad place and so everyone's backs are up and they are on the defensive about anything and everything.

I wouldn’t say it’s a rise in behaviour, always been there. 25 years ago I worked for a water board digging up roads and repairing pipes. I’ve been screamed at, shouted at, some bloke threatened me with a shotgun if I didn’t stop digging /making a noise.

Studies have shown that overcrowding increases aggression. When people can't move freely to work or around towns and cities and neighbourhoods have crampt and overcrowded, people get annoyed. Plus, we're always rushing......

That's just plain daft

I think there's been a real breakdown in society in the past 10+ years. Public services massively underfunded, meaning that police seem to be barely policing, health services struggling so people are stressed and unwell. Basic council services have been cut meaning people are frustrated. This is coupled with deliberately divisive politics where particular politicians have pursued policies to benefit themselves politically and financially. We've had politicians who appear to be able to lie and get away with it, sending a message that this is acceptable.

We're much more aware now that those 'in charge' are not always to be trusted, not just politicians, but a greater awareness of corruption eg in the police, and that legal structures can't be relied on. Of course some groups in society have always been aware of this, but things like the sheer volume of met police officers suspected of abuse of women has driven it home to a greater number of us.

At the same time we have a cost of living crisis, meaning people are even more stressed and worried.

Whilst none of this justifies bad behaviour, we need to find ways for us to be more united, have a sense of community. What we really need is some decent political leadership, but not sure that's coming soon

Considering many of these aggressive, rude or violent people are in their 40s/50s/60s etc no I wouldn't say that not hitting children in school is the cause of this.

It's terrifying and is getting worse. I think in part because violence and agression is becoming so normalised or even celebrated.

And I don't care that people are stressed or having a hard time. Most people are. It's not a justification to harm other people.

I see clips of people losing their s* and am aghast. I can hand on heart say I'm never been as angry and lacking in self-control as these people. Even in the face of provocation, let alone just because the Starbucks worker refused my voucher or someone parked across my drive.

The anger levels over what most people would see as insignificant events displayed on MN shocks me sometimes too.

Because they can get away with it.

VenusClapTrap I should have added that dh and his colleagues do encounter lovely people like you, people who bring out tea and biscuits and even bacon sandwiches. They (and you) keep the faith going. Thank you 😊

And yet on here if people complain about this kind of behaviour there are always lots of calls for the person complaining to not go to the cinema or theatre if they don't like the noise/antisocial behaviour.

I think it's down to parents not setting any boundaries for their kids. Those children are going to grow up to be antisocial bastards. It's part of parenting to teach your children to be considerate to others. If you can't be arsed to do that you'll end up with entitled knobs.

I remember there was a child like that at my son's school. Mother never set any rules for her little darling. One day when he was about 9 or 10 (so not a toddler) he just came up behind me and kicked me right in the bottom really hard. No provocation, just because he could. He certainly learned some boundaries that day!

I despise the fact that some people use mental health as a reason for utterly crap behaviour. I have suffered from poor mental health most of my life and have never taken it out on anyone else. Sorry you had a bad time yesterday.

Ooooh I hear this. After forty minutes of being on hold with EE yesterday I wasn’t really in the mood to be reasonable. I had a really defensive surly guy on the other end of the phone when I did get through and it took every ounce of my energy to remain calm and factual when all I wanted to do was snarl. Proud of myself for keeping my cool but left a stinking review

@TheThingIsYeah

It's not overcrowding. I live in Japan - rural area now but I assure you Tokyo was way, way more crowded than London ever was. And finances are no better over this way either.