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Original poster

Good 4th birthday party for 40 children?

51 replies

UniKnow · 15/09/2023 13:36

Thinking about to DD’s 4th birthday. Once I’ve invited the children of families we’re friends with plus a few from her nursery and pre school it’s looking like over 40 children. I’m
aware how mad this sounds but not sure how we can cull it unless I say no siblings (there are several in the 18-24m group, including us) but I like to be hospitable. This feels way too many for hall plus bouncy castle. Leisure Centres have a max of 30. We did soft play last year. I realise not all will come but last year we invited 25 and only 2 declined.

DD recently went to a Princess party where they had a Cinderella character and loved it so that would be great. But several of the children at that party weren’t fussed by her and so just ran around with nothing else to do so not sure how to entertain them? I’d need two princesses for that many children.

I could book a leisure centre (soft play, climbing frame set up) for 4 hours rather than 2 hours and make it drop-in. Anytime within that window rather than a fixed period. Would that work?

Any other ideas for large numbers gratefully received. I want it to be as easy as possible and budget of around £400. Thanks!

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 15/09/2023 13:41

40 kids is way, way too many!

You don't have to invite the kids of your friends, just stick with inviting the kids she plays with at school or preschool.

Findyourneutralspace · 15/09/2023 13:43

Some soft play centres do exclusive hire at certain times. I’d do that.

PuttingDownRoots · 15/09/2023 13:44

Either invite your friends or her friends... trying to do both is overwhelming for them! I'm presuming all these kids will also have adults with them... this could be 80 people!!

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Original poster
UniKnow · 15/09/2023 13:45

Stompythedinosaur · 15/09/2023 13:41

40 kids is way, way too many!

You don't have to invite the kids of your friends, just stick with inviting the kids she plays with at school or preschool.

I agree it’s a crazy number. I’m only including the children of family friends that she actually knows and play with. So anyone we meet up with more than once a month. Not people we see a couple of times a year.

OP posts:
0021andabit · 15/09/2023 13:47

Soft play is the only place I can really imagine working for those numbers. Or an organised disco in a hall? Just DJ, disco lights etc with a buffet at the back that people help themselves to as & when rather organising them all to sit down at once, maybe with a bouncy castle outside & a corner with colouring in etc for the quieter kids.

Original poster
UniKnow · 15/09/2023 13:48

PuttingDownRoots · 15/09/2023 13:44

Either invite your friends or her friends... trying to do both is overwhelming for them! I'm presuming all these kids will also have adults with them... this could be 80 people!!

Sorry I wasn’t clear on my post. When I say family friends I mean her friends of the same age where we are friends with the family too rather than children she knows through nursery but we’re not friends with the parents. Any friends of mine who have older/younger children who DD isn’t really friends with I’m not going to invite as wouldn’t be fun for anyone.

OP posts:
LongStoryLong · 15/09/2023 13:48

There is no good 4th birthday party for 40 children. I say this as someone who actually threw a 4th birthday party for 40 children, for reasons too outing to go into. He’s 10 now, and he still remembers the party, I’ll give you that. But it was hugely overwhelming for him at the time, and he really didn’t enjoy it. We had a superhero entertainer in case you still want to know 😅

Original poster
UniKnow · 15/09/2023 13:51

0021andabit · 15/09/2023 13:47

Soft play is the only place I can really imagine working for those numbers. Or an organised disco in a hall? Just DJ, disco lights etc with a buffet at the back that people help themselves to as & when rather organising them all to sit down at once, maybe with a bouncy castle outside & a corner with colouring in etc for the quieter kids.

Thanks I had wondered about a disco. Would this work for 4 year olds? I kind of had that earmarked for age 5 or 6.

Theres a large village hall nearby that I could hire for whatever we do. There’s only small soft play locally which we used last year. It would be good to find something different if possible.

OP posts:
LaRevolution · 15/09/2023 13:53

I would highly recommend cutting down numbers to maybe 28 tops - I know it's hard when people have you get children but it's not unreasonable that one parent stays with the you get child and one brings the kid to your party.

To be honest if I'd taken either of mine to a party that had 40 kids when they were that age I'd probably have had to leave again pretty sharpish - they just found that many people, plus shouting/music/games too overwhelming. Some will thrive on it though!

We did a soft play centre one at 5 that was a revelation - all we did was take the cake and sit down with a coffee, really - but we probably had max 18 kids there. Best of luck!

Original poster
UniKnow · 15/09/2023 13:53

I wonder if it would be easier to make it 4 year olds only. No younger siblings even where we socialise as a family. I could arrange a babysitter for our own DS (age 18m so not exactly missing out ) and accept this will mean some can’t come.

OP posts:
LaRevolution · 15/09/2023 13:54

We went to a good village hall one with a party lady/entertainer who did a lot of parachute games etc bit the kids were a bit older. I think she had a circus skills background and she was very authoritative spit worked well!

TheWayTheLightFalls · 15/09/2023 13:54

Fuck me that's a lot of kids.

Just don't.

I promise (as a parent of three) there are very few times I receive an invite to a kid's party and think ah brilliant, love a kid's party. I go because they are my kids' friends or (rarely) my own friends/family's children, but please don't overestimate the number of people you "must" invite. Pick three kids from nursery your kid likes and invite them over for a tea party one afternoon. Job done.

LaRevolution · 15/09/2023 13:54

UniKnow · 15/09/2023 13:53

I wonder if it would be easier to make it 4 year olds only. No younger siblings even where we socialise as a family. I could arrange a babysitter for our own DS (age 18m so not exactly missing out ) and accept this will mean some can’t come.

100%, I promise!!!

0021andabit · 15/09/2023 13:55

Re a disco for that age group…

I think it could work - our school PTA do a nursery & reception disco (so 3-5yrs) & it’s a really popular event. I guess the key is getting the right DJ so they’re doing Disney songs, Baby Shark etc not just traditional pop. Also, I think you’ll need to keep it very open ended for those numbers - no pressure to join in organised games etc.

Ozziedream · 15/09/2023 13:56

Definitely no siblings - that would be a good first step.

then soft play : one near us had a big room for hot party tea they made and you provide cake.

most cheaper places / activities near us work out to about £15/head so if you got it down to 30 kids that’s £450. (I am in London though so everything is pricy)

mindutopia · 15/09/2023 13:57

I think you just need to cut your numbers. A bouncy castle and other things (ball pit, some rid on toys, balloons to bounce around) in a hall is fine for say 30, if some of those are tiny ones who won't really be on the bouncy castle. Do a slide bouncy castle so they rotate through instead of just staying on. That way everyone gets a turn and no one is just on there forever. I'm not a massive fan of entertainers. They can be quite intimidating. Ds went to a party about that age where the entertainer was like a dance/fitness instructor (think zumba for 2-4 year olds). It was a bit intense and only the most extroverted actually engaged. Mostly they just want to run around screaming and then eat cake. Soft play would be fine too, if you keep your numbers small. It might simply be that for the 'party' you need to limit it to 20-30 and then if anyone wants to bring a sibling, they need to book in separately, which shouldn't impact on your numbers.

longestlurkerever · 15/09/2023 13:58

If the soft play worked last year I wouldn't change it.

Stompythedinosaur · 15/09/2023 13:59

But you don't have to invite every friend.

I think a party this large in any venue will not be enjoyable for a 4yo.

How about a manageable party with school friends for her and a seperate house party drop in for family friends?

Singleandproud · 15/09/2023 14:05

Will your 4 year old actually want 40 children there? Or will they find it overwhelming? Keep in mind it's not just the children, most parents will stay at that age so that's almost 100 people. Does your daughter actually play with all of them or are they more acquaintances? When she goes to school will these people still be in your life? You don't have to keep up with the Joneses, 5-8 children will probably be much more enjoyable for your DC.

I know some children who have large extended families who have the friends party one day and the family one another so that is an option.

Needmorelego · 15/09/2023 14:05

Cut it down to about 5 children. Only one parent allowed to stay. No siblings.
Pass the Parcel/Musical Statues/Pin the Tail on the Donkey.
Pizza to eat followed by birthday cake.
Done.

LutherRalph1 · 15/09/2023 14:07

We hired a gym for my sons 5th. All
Padded and the kids could just go wild, the coaches did some games at the start then they could free play

Hedonism · 15/09/2023 14:07

That sounds hideous! I agree with others, just invite 4-5 of her favourite people (nobody has 40 close friends) for a tea party with balloons. Sorted.

Sunshineclouds11 · 15/09/2023 14:20

I would cut the numbers down or exclusively hire a soft play.

Or say no siblings. That amount of kids plus adults is going to be a lot.

Original poster
UniKnow · 15/09/2023 14:22

Thanks these are all good points. She is my first DC so it’s really helpful.

Does anyone think the drop-in option would be a go-er? Hopefully that would mean no more than 20 at once. Either that or a Princess party with no siblings and if people have to decline due to that then so be it.

I promise these are all children she either sees at nursery daily or plays with socially at lessst once or twice a month. No cousins etc.

OP posts:
stealthbanana · 15/09/2023 14:26

40 kids is only doable in a hall with an entertainer. There’s no way I could do that for £400 (but am in london).

I wouldn’t do it. Your 4 year old can’t possibly be close to anywhere near 40 kids. What’s the number if we cut our siblings?

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