DS shown drug video - county lines and how to handle?

[HeathersFeathers]

DS said ‘I need to tell you something but you must promise not to tell the school’ .
Today during class, two boys ‘Z’ and ‘X’ were jesting around, posturing/showing off trying to establish a pecking order. My DS is not friends with, but sits next to child Z.
Child X said I’ve got year 11 friends who can sort you out’ to child Z. Then Z said ‘well I know people in these circles so you can’t touch me’ and proceeded to show X and my DS a video of himself with lots of bags of weed lined up on a table wrapped in cling film and was saying to the camera, this one is x grams, this one x grams etc. like a sales video . (To be clear - Z was in the video talking to the camera) Z told my DS , he was going to save up to buy a ‘scaler’ something along those lines, DS not sure what drug paraphernalia looks like or names for it. DS said how much is one of those and what’s it for . Z said ‘it’s a machine to roll joints with’. They are 12.
DS has begged me not to tell the school as apparently only himself, child X and another person have been shown this video. DS is scared it could be traced back to him telling someone.
What should I do with this information? I mean, I know what I should do, but I don’t know that I can trust the school to handle
this properly and protect my DS .
DS has had trouble in the past from tough kids at this school, I raised concerns and DS said it caused him some problems, ended up with a smack in the mouth. ( inner city school that has its fair share of issues).
can’t help but think it’s county lines. Obv told DS to stay away from this kid.

So when your DD shows a friend his drug video, and his friend tell his parent. Again you'll be fine with them doing fuck all. Obviously your son was just showing off and not really in the drugs trade...

But OP doesn't actually know what the situation is.

It's part of basic safeguarding training that if you become aware of something and you don't know or are uncertain about whether it's a safeguarding issue, you must report it.

OP may or may not decide to report, but saying 'it might be nothing' isn't a reason not to.

My priority would be my child and I'd keep well out of it.
If it's bravado then you'll just make your son a target.
If he's seriously involved in drugs then telling the school is unlikely to change anything.

No, for my sins, I'd keep my mouth shut and prioritise the safety of my own kid.

It's part of basic safeguarding training that if you become aware of something and you don't know or are uncertain about whether it's a safeguarding issue, you mustreport it

Safeguarding as part of my paid role Vs protecting my dc in my own life.

But are you keeping your child safe? They're now part of this, and have a potential to be coerced into doing things...and they end up holding onto something for this lad, or end up having to take stuff to someone... he tells a friend,they tell their parents...and they do nothing....

I'm sure you will be happy that nobody tried to help your child.

Nobody can help these kids they’re too far down keep your kid safe and do nothing

Unfortunately, the local dealers and their lackeys don't take a very live and let live approach to people who shine a light on their illegal behaviour. I'm wouldn't be asking my children to take that on the chin to keep my own conscience clean.

Say nothing. And protect your son. No other viable option that won't risk retribution. Don't forget these 'kids'. Don't think like you do. It will be a badge of honour for one of them to 'wet' your son

You’re really reaching hard with this.

Theres absolutely nothing to suggest the OPs child will end up selling drugs because he saw a video of a class mate potentially selling drugs. He was concerned enough to speak to his parent about what he saw. Rather than make decisions based on hypothetical situations, best to deal with the facts eh?

That's a good idea.

I can't believe I'm saying this but I think I would keep my child's confidence and not report as I would genuinely fear for my child's safety if I did.
The OP mentions it's an inner city school with issues. These kids clearly have connections with potentially dangerous people. I'd be telling my son to keep his head down but to keep communicating with me. I'd also be making sure he knew about county lines, risks etc.

After working with county lines kids at the DWP I would never put my son at risk . These kids are feral no honour amongst thieves. All of you left wing liberals talking nonsense about letting the authorities know - big news the authorities don’t care and don’t have a clue anyway. Watch Top Boy the best most realistic portrayal of drug life

If this kid showed your DS, who he doesn't know and just happens to sit near, he's probably shown others, so it won't be that obvious that it's come from your DS. Even if the other kid dose work out who told, anything said to your DS is likely to be minor compared to the very real danger the other 12yo is in. I think on some level your DS knows that, if he really didn't want anything to happen he wouldn't have told you to begin with.

Well, that is a bloody leap in faith, isn't it? But hey, no skin off your nose if you are wrong, right?

I work in a secondary school and all staff trained on safeguarding and child protection.
Believe me, the school will be very aware of this child. I'm not going to go into details of how information is gathered by a school's child protection system.

On this occasion, I would not put my son at risk.

Exactly this.

Reporting it could mean massive repercussions for your poor son. It’s all well and good people insisting you report this but the real world outcome is they’ll assume it’s came from your son and he’ll be bullied because of it.

Just monitor the situation, tell him to keep his head down and don’t engage with them and maybe ask if he can be moved away from this boy in class.

The other kids aren’t the OP’s problem though. Her job is to protect her child.

No, they're not a part of it, they saw a video.
As for other parents - I would expect everybody's priority to be their own child.

This is such an interesting thread.

I'm honestly surprised at the amount of people that claim they would risk their relationship with their own child, and even their safety, for the sake of a stranger's child.

How lovely, but nope not for me. My children are my number one priority. Always, no exceptions.

OP, I would be all over your DS's phone/ movements like a hawk! Tell him he's not to be in the same company of this boy, in any situation that can be helped.

The naivety from some
people amazes me. All those saying ‘report’ - what do you think will actually happen for this boy? I’d bet everything I own that he already has social services involvement and is known to the police. And he’s still doing it. Why would you put your child at significant risk of repercussions? OP I think your son has told you because he knows it is wrong and he is scared. Don’t break his confidence, protect him.

I’m sorry but I’m no way would I report this.
I would tell my child to keep well well away from them as much as possible.
I have kids in 3 different secondary schools and other kids show all sorts of videos on all sorts of things.
I have known kids with parents who smoke weed freely in the house. I have known kids who’s older cousins or brothers also do.
It could be something, it could be nothing but if it was only just shown to your son and then he gets identified as the grass the repercussions on him could be huge. Like a pP said, it’s not putting you in the firing line, it’s putting your 12 year old in it.
Also, yes some schools are absolutely shit with this sort of stuff sadly and names do get out (or in some cases nothing is done anyway)
I wonder how many of you actually have kids in secondary schools to be automatically saying report it?
Its just not that simple when your child is at stake.

I personally would not trust the school to sort it out . Can you anonymously report direct to the police ? That is what I would do and don’t even tell your son you have done it .

That's not what I am saying.

If/when one of my gangsta teenagers gets caught waving drug dealing videos around, hopefully they are not so dumb to have any identifying features, but say their underage tattoos were on show, and they got caught or grassed, me and their father would sort them out, however was needed. I can't say if that would be tough love or a more compassionate approach because it hasn't happened yet.

It would be tough love if I had to explain to the police that their dumb arses were only pretending to have weed and it was all a big hoax.

I would expect the friend's parent to contact me directly first. Even if just to tell me they were going to the police so we could work out what we were dealing with.

But OP doesn't say they are friends.

This is a 12 yr old who saw a video, that may or may not be true, of another 12 year old, who may or may not be affiliated with a gang of older members.

If you as a parent open up a can of police and social services and the 12 year old is part of a gang, some of whom might carry knives out of school, or even in school, I would say as a parent you need to be sure that you don't embroil your child with them. And on what information that has been given in the OP I don't think I would say anything right now.

I would talk to my 12 year old, to keep their eyes ears open. I would suggest my 12 year old talks to his trusted mates, but I wouldn't jump in just going on this information. I would tell my son's friend's parents to make sure they spoke to their kids or just to make it aware that there MIGHT be weed floating round sometime soon.

I wouldn't just do nothing but I would tread carefully especially as my child has asked me not to say anything to the authorities.

personally I would not risk this being the actual situation . And I live near a secondary school with a very good reputation where now there are drugs on the school grounds and they are actually bringing in the police to do checks , unfortunately they appear to be giving warnings when that is happening so the kids are running rings round them . It’s scary . So I would not trust the school to sort it .