Waitrose age ID check is bugging me

[Mothership4two]

I was is a smallish busy Waitrose (not my usual shop) with DS (25) and I bought 6 bottles of (not cheap) wine, a box of chocolates and a handful of day to day food items. At the till I put the items on the belt and bagged them while DS stood waiting by the end. The cashier didn't put the wine through and asked my son for ID. I was a bit confused and told her that this was MY shopping (I'm in my 50s and sadly do not need ID). She ignored me and asked for his ID again. When I repeated it was my shopping she said it was company policy - other than that she was pretty uncommunicative. So DS went out to the car to fetch his ID and there was a bit of grumbling from the couple waiting behind who then went off to find another till. DS came back and she put it through without a word.

I wasn't grumpy with her, I was just neutral, paid and left. It was irritating but we weren't particularly outraged and had a laugh about it in the car. DS said he hasn't been asked for ID in years (he looks his age) and that no "youngster" would be spending £70+ on wine for a party. We thought it was odd though.

I know there are much bigger things going on in the World to worry about, but it has bugged me since then. I know the cashier isn't a mindreader but it was pretty obvious it was my shopping and very obvious that DS is an adult. And also what happens if you go around with your 16 year old child or younger and happen to buy alcohol, would Waitrose then refuse to let you buy it? I'm sure that happens in supermarkets up and down the country all the time - buying alcohol when parents are shopping with their children. I understand that supermarkets have to have a policy for not selling alcohol to childen via others but it was patently obvious that was not happening. The whole thing doesn't make sense.

AIBU and has anyone else been put in a similar postion?

hmmm i don't think it is the law having looked it up - it's the supermarkets policies ! it is illegal to sell to under 18s and illegal to see to someone you think might be buying on behalf of someone under 18 - so supermarkets just being over cautious i guess

the person who authorised the sale can get a personal fine if they were to have sold to someone under age - so not worth the risk for them i suppose

The shop is not going to risk a fine and losing their licence because you threw a tantrum.

This is what I don't understand. It is the parent buying the shopping and that is who the store is selling it to. I'd understand if the parent then asked their adult child for their card to pay, but they don't.
The only caveat I'd give would be if you were clearly buying something most parents wouldn't drink like Wkd or some other alcopop type drink.

It’s all performative.

No self respecting underage drinker getting someone to buy alcohol for them is going to be standing next to that person at the supermarket check out whilst the weekly shop is being purchased waiting for the bottle to be handed over.

Even if they are, then we also know that it is not illegal for anyone over the age of 5 (in England, Wales and Scotland) to drink alcohol on private property, so chances are no crime is going to be committed with that bottle even if they do bugger off and drink it.

So what vanishingly small issue is the law (or the shop’s own policy) actually tackling by stopping adults buying alcohol if their kids happen to be standing somewhere nearby?

It makes no difference whatsoever, but a box is ticked and people can claim they did “something” (even if all they have actually achieved is to slightly increase the sum total of inconvenience and frustration in the world).

I've had this before at co op, so annoying. My dd who was with me hadn't got any ID on her and I held the queue up whilst arguing the toss with the assistant, who caved eventually when the manager got involved.

What a terrible manager.

This happened to me when shopping with my 14yr old has had a bottle of wine and 4 can of beer with my weekly shop . Asked to see the manager when he finally came he took a quick look at all the shopping I had and told the girl to scan it through .

Thing is. What if you prove your child is under 18 with id? Then they don't sell it.

So any child aged 2, 9, 11 etc who is shopping with a parent prevents sale of alcohol this way.

But equally they scare the shit out of the poor workers about selling it.

My 39 year old ds went to Morrisons to pick up my click and collect shopping.
He refused to give ds the wine in the car park. Nothing to do with Id.
Why allow a shopper to order wine on click and collect and then refuse to hand it over?

Not the law but if a cashier decides they are concerned you are going to supply your 2yo with alcohol they can refuse the sale.

It's normally teens that are with parents who are asked. Who of course aren't 18. It's hard to buy alcohol in some shops with anyone over the age of 12.

I don't try in those shops anymore - I go elsewhere.

I got asked for ID in sainsburys a few months ago buying cigs - I am 48 and I thought she was joking but she actually wasn’t. She was quite young and by her accent I would say new to the UK. I decided that she must be a new employee and possibly trying to do things by the book and not lose her job. I didn’t show her any ID and probably after a second look at me realised her mistake.

I had this when someone who looked quite young asked me a question while behind me in the queue.

It was something really not interesting about the local food festival that was on, I think asking what time it finished, I answered, we exchanged some small talk about it being a nice day for it etc then the cashier asked the lady behind for her ID while scanning my items through. We both said that we didn't know each other and weren't together but cashier was adamant that we must be as we had been talking moments before.

That's the only time I've ever complained about it.

I've worked at a supermarket too, and the cashiers will look out for proxy purchases. If your son was done up for a party and his mates were tagging along behind, the cashier would be absolutely correct to ask for ID of all present. But you would have thought the cashier would have some common sense here given that it was fancy wine along with groceries and not a pack of smirnoff ice etc.

I've had it in the Co-Op when buying booze with dc (18), luckily she had it on her. It was waaaay too posh wine for dc ever to consider. It's a very silly policy (and don't get me started on Tesco not letting under-18s take in shopping even if the delivery contains no alcohol or otherwise prohibited substances)

One of the especially young look ladies at work always buys a spring onion and some prawns when buying alcohol if she doesn't have her ID with her now. Apparently no one questions her age with that combo.

It’s the law

I'm 45 and I got ID'd buying wine in Waitrose I'd be flattered if it wasn't so ridiculous!

Yes, if the cashier believes there to be a proxy purchase going on. A reasonable person, I think, would conclude that this isn't the case. Should I be ID'd when carrying my 10 month old? Should he be ID'd and the sale refused?

I was doing self-check out in Sainsbury's recently and when you buy alcohol it flashes red and a staff member has to come over a press a button that says 'visibly over 25'. The guy came over and asked me for ID. I'm in my mid 40s and look my age. I don't have a problem with that. It emerged that he somehow thought he was being flattering/flirty by pretending to think I looked under 25 when I very clearly don't. It wasn't flattering, it was annoying. For reference, I don't want to look under 25, I'm perfectly happy with people thinking I'm around the age that I actually am. Even if they thought I was 10 years older it wouldn't bother me. What bothers me is the subtext that I would be happier and more attractive if I looked younger. Oh, what larks. Sod off and let me buy my wine for paella in peace.

I'm all for challenge 25 and whatever, it makes sense but the cashier at our local supermarket is a bit overzealous about it all. She ID'd me for a bottle of rum when I was in my 20s, obviously fine, but when I gave it to her she put on a really smug expression and said 'and where has your little friend gone?? Don't think I dont know the tricks".
I asked what she meant as I was alone.
She told me that she saw a teenager walk in the shop with me (must have been behind me as I hadn't noticed) and she must be hiding in the aisles waiting for me.
I didn't know what she meant as I didn't see anybody and definitely wasn't secretly buying alcohol for some teen but she was adamant that I was and that I would not be allowed to buy the rum.
I was just going to leave it until she spotted 'the teen' at the self service checkout and demanded her ID, she looked confused but showed it. I assume she was over 18 as the cashier just nodded, told me that actually it was fine and scanned my bottle. So weird, like I get if if ypur obviously doing proxy buying but I never even saw this 'teen'.

Everyone harping on "It's the law". It's absolutely not. And it's ridiculous frankly, I know people who have had their underage children asked for ID (we're talking 12 year olds) and subsequently refused a sale.

That's a good point about not being allowed to buy alcohol with your children who definitely are underage. I usually shop with my 10 and 8 year old because that's when I am out and about with them on other tasks. I wonder at what point they'll stop serving me because my eldest looks 12 already. Do I have to pull the 'I want to speak to the manager' line?

I was asked for ID when I was 40 to buy a saw. I stated the fact and then my daughter who was 20 showed her ID and they let me buy it. So I didn't have I D but she did! Was a weird situation.

Get over it. If that's all you have to moan about, lucky you. We do not want or need to know the price you paid for the wine cheap or otherwise.

Which law is it exactly that prevents you from, as an adult, buying alcohol for your own consumption?

My 32 year old (heavily pregnant) Niece was ID'd in Morrisons last week - for a bottle of Nonsecco!