Waitrose age ID check is bugging me

[Mothership4two]

I was is a smallish busy Waitrose (not my usual shop) with DS (25) and I bought 6 bottles of (not cheap) wine, a box of chocolates and a handful of day to day food items. At the till I put the items on the belt and bagged them while DS stood waiting by the end. The cashier didn't put the wine through and asked my son for ID. I was a bit confused and told her that this was MY shopping (I'm in my 50s and sadly do not need ID). She ignored me and asked for his ID again. When I repeated it was my shopping she said it was company policy - other than that she was pretty uncommunicative. So DS went out to the car to fetch his ID and there was a bit of grumbling from the couple waiting behind who then went off to find another till. DS came back and she put it through without a word.

I wasn't grumpy with her, I was just neutral, paid and left. It was irritating but we weren't particularly outraged and had a laugh about it in the car. DS said he hasn't been asked for ID in years (he looks his age) and that no "youngster" would be spending £70+ on wine for a party. We thought it was odd though.

I know there are much bigger things going on in the World to worry about, but it has bugged me since then. I know the cashier isn't a mindreader but it was pretty obvious it was my shopping and very obvious that DS is an adult. And also what happens if you go around with your 16 year old child or younger and happen to buy alcohol, would Waitrose then refuse to let you buy it? I'm sure that happens in supermarkets up and down the country all the time - buying alcohol when parents are shopping with their children. I understand that supermarkets have to have a policy for not selling alcohol to childen via others but it was patently obvious that was not happening. The whole thing doesn't make sense.

AIBU and has anyone else been put in a similar postion?

I work in a small supermarket, and our policy is that if it is clear that the young person is with their parents we don’t ask them for ID.

PPs are right that after the question is asked we must follow through, if we don’t see ID after asking for it then we are not allowed to proceed with the sale. And the policy is Think 25, so if you look as though you could conceivably be 25 you might get asked. It’s quite hard to judge ages, especially the difference between 25 and 35! So please have some patience with the staff, we are under a lot of pressure not to get it wrong, and sometimes people are over cautious. If your job depended on it I would hope you would be as well!

The problem seems to be that shops don't train staff properly on how to identify potential proxy sales. Just because the shopper is accompanied by another person doesn't mean there's a proxy sale- there has to be other evidence as well.

I got ID'd in Tesco whilst buying my husband a bottle of Port last Christmas...I am in my late 50s.

I've had this. It's completely ridiculous. I can't believe you aren't allowed to buy alcohol when in the company of a teenager...seems an infringement on rights. I've also seen a cashier refuse to sell a bottle of wine to a pregnant lady, but that's a whole other story.

@DemBonesDemBones

This whole thread is a wannabe middle class moan.

Why? What I have taken from this thread is that there is A LOT of confusion with many people unsure of the law and supermarket policy - in many different types of supermarkets in the UK - and conflicting policies (ie sometimes you are not asked or supermarket deliveries seeming to be a free for all).

If you mention Waitrose on MN (not my usual shop) you will get some poster's knee-jerk reaction of reverse snobbery.

If the wannabe middle classes, as you put it, want to come on to have a moan (or any "class") on MN that's fine by me it's an open site and a forum for all types I would have thought.

I'm really glad I stumbled on this post. I don't shop with my teen very often (use Ocado), but would probably do tend to pick up a bottle of wine in a top-up shop.

I'd better tell her to go outside before I go anywhere near a checkout.

I regularly shop at a huge Sainsburys and a small one @Rlg2725 and on the few occasions I have been with either DS (19 and 25 and when they were younger) this situation has never occurred but I usually go through self service if I can, so that must be another loop hole.

I wasn't and would never be rude to the cashier. They must have to deal with some snotty behaviour from customers - I have a lot of sympathy for them!

I used to do that too. After reading these stories a few times.

I have had it before, it was for me and daughter is 18 and dosn't drink anyway but she didn't have I'd with her as had no reason too, but in the end I just left all the shopping and went elsewhere

So what is the age where you can't buy alcohol with children present? 10?14? Older, younger?

I was in tesco with my 22 year old sister who has special needs. The exact same thing happened to me, you can clearly see my sister has needs and as she didn't have any ID with her (I did) I was refused to be served.

I was so angry with the lady at the time as it was completely unnecessary I'm in my 30s.

The last time I recall being ID'd I was 35 and approximately 7 months pregnant. We were at an arctic monkeys concert in Sydney. I was queuing to get a glass of water and they literally wouldn't let anyone approach the bar without showing ID. Most odd. This conversation is intriguing though, my kids are fairly little, but I had no idea shops might refuse to let me buy wine in their presence once they get to possible drinking age.

I recently had a bottle of wine snatched out my hand in Morrisons whilst trying to get approved at selfscan. I was with my 8 year old and husband this didn’t matter though. The women was super rude and told me to get my ID if I actually had any.. I have two kids that are old enough drink (not with on me on the day) some people just like the power trip.

Aibu they're doing their job. You could be buying it for an older looking teen and disguising the purchase with other items. I wouldn't be willing to get fired for a random stranger and it's challenge 25 now so they're within their rights to ask. I got ID'd at an 18 movie when I'm 30, it happens.

This has only ever happened to me in America, when I had my 20 & 21 year old stepkids with me. Happened in Walmart, in clear view of the guns they could have purchased themselves. But the cashier really did get arsey with us.
I hope we're not going to get like America over buying a bottle of wine. Or guns.

It’s so tricky. The council do send in ‘ test purchasers’ to see if the ‘ think 25’ rule is being adhered to.
However, interesting to know - l work in customer services at a major supermarket. ( dealing regularly with disgruntled parents) Our legal training actually stipulates that if an adult is paying for the alcohol- in a family shop ( even with older kids) the transaction is to go through.
Where it becomes nerve wracking for colleagues is when parents are whispering: and talking surreptitiously. This leads to confusion & nervousness on the part of the cashier. They are obviously going to protect themselves.
Each time we get a new store manager, we must all sign a new piece of paper to agree to sell alcohol under their name.

I wonder what they would do with a disabled person and carer?

My carer pushes me in my wheelchair round to the community shop, that doesn't sell alcohol and he is in his 40s but you could easily have a carer who is under 25, or even under 18.

@TeamGeriatric the legal age to drink in your own home with a parent's permission is 5.

Alcohol and tobacco are challenge 25 for id. If they don't look over 25 you're to challenge it. It's advertised everywhere so she did her job and correctly

The trouble is that "looking 25" is entirely subjective and is reliant on the competence of the cashier in visually assessing age - a skill they receive zero training in. Incredibly, quite a lot of them seem to be using height as a proxy for age. I stopped growing when I was 14.

Why should my right to buy alcohol be dependent on the cashier's skill?

Regardless, the posters in my local Tesco don't say "do you look under 25?" they say "under 25? Please be prepared to show proof of age"

"Do you look under 25?" Is a subjective statement.

"Under 25" is a clear statement of fact - those 26 or under should not expect to be asked to show proof of age.

It might not be what they mean - but it's what they've written on the posters.

ToBrieOrNotToBrieThatIsTheQuestion

I challenge you to guess everyone's age correctly.
Your right to buy alcohol isn't worth me losing my job over. Carry id if you are regularly asked

😂😂 honestly! Just accept it!
the ‘ think 25’ is to cover people who are able to make themselves up with makeup etc. It’s easy to fake 18!/ not quite so easy 25.

I'm not regularly asked. It's largely unpredictable, and is just the occasional incompetent who can't tell someone in their early 30s from a teenager.

Sometimes they don't even look properly. I had a bouncer barely glance at me before asking me for ID - presumably because I'm shorter than average. When I looked at him and went "how old do you think I am" at which point he actually looked and the response was "err, about 30". "Correct, so why are you asking me for ID when it's a think 25 policy?". He let me in.

I tend to find that if I just want to buy a bottle of wine then I'll get IDd. If I'm buying quite a weekly shop and a bottle of wine I won't be. They're clearly looking more at what's in the trolley than the person buying it.

I don't carry a wallet any more - all of my debit cards are on Google pay, all of my loyalty cards are on apps, and I never carry cash. I don't even use a handbag - I just put my phone and keys in my pocket. There's nowhere to put ID until they make app based driving licences.

I shouldn't be inconvenienced because someone is incompetent at their job and - in some cases - doesn't even look properly at the person before IDing.

Part of the selection process should be the ability to guess ages based on a few short videos. If they pass they can go on the checkouts, if they fail they can go on shelf stacking. I can't see any reason not to assess a core competency as part of the recruitment process.

The cashier is applying the law incorrectly here.

Unless they have proof that a proxy sale is being attempted (paying customer is buying for someone else, usually underage) in which case they need proof of i.e. they heard the other party discuss paying the paying customer back for the items etc then they have no reasonable cause to ask for ID from anyone other than the paying customer.

I worked as a cashier for 5 years and this was drummed into us. I don’t understand how so many cashiers get it so wrong.

occasional incompetent who can't tell someone in their early 30s from a teenager.

You again. We've had this discussion before
I asked a customer how old I was the other week and they said " 22." I said no I'm almost 30 and now you know why it's not always easy.
They backed down arguing with me after that.

You are always going to ask some people over 25 as we are not robots.

We're also think 25 not 18.
A 30 -35 year old can appear 25 and we don't know if you are a test purchaser.
Sod your inconvenience. My job is more important to me