Work

[TD7]

A few weeks ago one of my work colleagues asked if they could borrow my pen …one of my pens had already gone missing so I said no then I said ok as long as you put it back he put it back and then all afternoon he kept laughing at me I said what are you laughing he said you will find out very soon my anxiety was through the roof as I suffer very badly with it ….later on when I went to use my pen it was gone I went out to the kitchen and lost my shit i accused this guy of taking it as he had been winding me up all afternoon….a few days later someone had called speak up anonymously and reported me an investigation took place I was so I’ll over it I had to see a dr anyway all was sorted I’m getting help for anxiety to handle myself better ..anyway after 6 weeks off I’m back to work been back for 3 days and when I went to put my work shoes on I noticed they were dirty …I polish mine every day OCD …anyway long story short one of my work colleagues came in later saying I’m sure someone else has my she’s as these are feeling different I said arrr I think there has been a mix up let’s go to the changing room to swop back ..with that the assistant manager came into the changing room and spoke in an aggressive manner saying I’m sick of this it’s not you dinner time for 3 minutes I was so taken aback and said calm down I’m not taking dinner there has been a mix up with shoes she stormed off … now here’s the thing this is no different from how I lost my shit ..I’ve been anxious all weekend over this and it has set me back but the manager and assistant manager are friends and I don’t know how to approach it ……HELP

Your post is quite fraught,are you feeling anxious? You seem to still be anxious and sensitive to perceived criticism or unplanned disruptions . This triggers a strong emotional in you. I’d recommend go see GP ask for a talking therapy referral eg IAPT. Also try think about strategies to help you manage stress and deescalate situations. On two occasions you’ve had a strong emotional reaction lost your shit and it’s impacted upon work resulting in time off.

would you consider a mood stabiliser for anxiety?

Does your work offer any occupational health support?

who supports you out of work? Friends? Family? Partner?

Your missing the point .>I am getting help the fact of the matter is I went off on one getting myself sorted but it’s ok for assistant manager to act in the same way

You do seem to be having more of a reaction to both events than I would consider normal.

Someone borrowing your pen or even defeating it, while a little irritating shouldn't be enough to cause the level of anxiety you experienced.

Your manager telling you that you need to wait till your break shouldn't cause enough anxiety to be dwelling on it all weekend.

Anxiety as I'm sure you know can cause you to perceive events to be more significant than they really are and from your description that does seem to be the case here.

Did you have any kind of mental health risk assessment when you returned to work? Were Occupational health involved?

You too are missing the point she came raging into the changing room shouting at me I wasn’t taking a break I was changing my shoes that had got mixed up with another colleague my point is I’m getting help for my over reactions but this what the assistant manager was worse than my over reaction to the pen how come it’s ok for her to shout at me ..lin the mean time if you read my post I am getting help for my anxiety through talking therapy and now this what I’m saying is how come the assistant manager can loose her shit with me when I wasn’t even doing anything wrong

I’m getting help why isn’t anyone reading the post my point is the assistant manager done worse than me shouting at me when I wasn’t even doing anything wrong she completely over reacted how come it’s ok for her to do it

I work in this area. It was a reasonable question to try to establish what specific support you're getting in the workplace.

Report her to speak up then.

That's why you got written up, someone reported you.

You had a thread back then didn't you?

You described your reaction to a pen going missing as "Lost your shit", your description of your manager was "assistant manager came into the changing room and spoke in an aggressive manner saying I’m sick of this it’s not you dinner time for 3 minutes ".

It sounds like your reaction was worse than hers from the words you have used.

No her reaction was much worse sorry I haven’t written it right but you get my gist right ??

Yes I did have a post back then and I’m getting help my point is the assumption the assistant manager had lost her shit at me without even getting the facts I was having to say calm down calm down I’m not taking dinner 3 minutes early I’m changing the she’s that got mixed up

You and your assistant manager are both humans and as such will on occasion act in ways that aren't suited to the situation. When you did it, you were reported and spoken to.

Your assistant manager has done it and the decision is now yours as to whether you think you need to report it or if it is out of character with her normal behaviour and you want to give her the benefit of the doubt.

So what are you actually wanting from this thread?

Did you read my post?????

Your post isn’t clear, which is why people are struggling to work out what advice you want.

From the assistant manager’s point of view, a colleague who “lost their shit” over a pen being taken and had to be signed off for 6 weeks and has been back to work for 3 days. On day 3, that colleague is in the break room before their break time and saying their shoes are wrong. The assistant manager has said they’ve had enough of this, so presumably there is more history than just losing your shit over a pen?

People are saying that if you think that was an overreaction, report it. Someone reported you and you have the option to report the assistant manager. However, from an outside perspective I think it will look like you aren’t ready to be back at work. Your posts seem to suggest that whilst you’re working on your anxiety, you aren’t ready to be back at work because how you’ve described the interaction with the assistant manager is not worth worrying about all weekend. Not really sure what more you want.

Yes. I'm evidently not the only one asking the question.

I wasn’t signed off for 6 weeks we were on holiday for t weeks and there is no history so,please don’t assume …I was changing the shoes as a work colleague had mistakenly taken mine that’s why I was in the changing room …I will have you know I work 5p hours a week and I work really hard never ever have time off and my manages tells me I’m probably the best worker she has but I already know that

You’re not understanding the post …it’s clearly a mistake doing this post …it’s quite simple but hey

You asked what I wanted from this post I’m clearly pointing out the assistant manager reacted worse than I did ..I’m getting help for my anxiety and it’s on going but I too do not appreciate being shouted at especially when I’ve done nothing wrong

Well I asked you a question which would have given me an idea about how you're being supported at work. Obviously you don't have to answer it, but you aren't helping posters to help you.

Yes and that doesn't answer the question.

I’m being supported by a therapist but my point is the assistant manager shouted at me much worse than the reaction i had it’s not right I just wanted peoples advice on what to do

Sorry …I’m getting help from the drs and a therapist I was offered support at work too

But my point isn’t about me it’s about the reaction and the way I was spoken too over something I hadn’t done it was totally inappropriate especially from an assistant manager I just wanted peoples advice on what tobda

Report her sane as you were reported. That's all you can do.

Also, if you were only 3 minutes early for lunch why couldn't you wait til you were on lunch to change your shoes?