The same child got all the jobs AGAIN

[Year5ClassJobs]

Children are Year 5, 3 classes per year.

Each class has 1 boy and 1 girl in school council, 1 boy and 1 girl on the eco-council then Year 5 have 1 boy and 1 girl per house (3 houses) as Deputy House Captains, and Year 6 have 1 boy and 1 girl per house as House Captains (usually the ones who where DHCs in Year 5).

It’s supposed to be that you are only allowed 1 job per year, you can’t be on both councils or be on a council and be a House Captain.

Except the last 2 years the same girl has been on both councils for the class, and this year she’s been voted again and also given Deputy House Captain. There was literally no point in my DD standing up to do the speeches for each as when this girl stood up to do hers DD knew she’d get all the jobs again, and she did – shes the same team as my DD so DD had no chance.

It just seems wholely unfair. There’s no logic behind it, she’s a popular girl among the class but she’s not related to a teacher or anything so I don’t get it. Usually the HT is very fair and ensures each child only gets 1 job per year but this child seems to get round that rule.

I’m all for boosting the confidence of DC who need it, but it just seems unfair for this girl to stand up and get all the jobs when others have never had a chance.

I’m not going to complain, I did a few years ago when she was given School Council and Eco-Council and was told by the HT that she always ensures each child only gets 1 job and that all the Year 5s and 6s have equal chance of getting DHT or HC. And that any child who put themselves forward for any job that didn't get a job will be given a big part in the Year 6 end of school show.

Why does this happen though? Why is this one child allowed 3 jobs when 2 other DC who’ve never had a chance could do it?

Oh, I do get that too - it's why I'm pleased that their school, like most (and even OP's, though it has clearly forgotten!) has rules or guidance or whatever in place to stop everything being hoovered up by golden children. For example, at their school you could only hold each role once and could only hold one role per year - in total around 70 "job opportunities" open to each year group across 7 years with each child being able to hold a maximum of 4 over their school career. Everyone gets to do 3 races at sports day, from The Pushchair Pushing Race to Egg n Spoon to 500 metres and Sprint. But I don't think it's fair to blame golden childness on financial coercion, PTA involvement or having the "gobbiest parent".

As an aside (and with tongue in cheek) where have you worked that hard work, skills and a natural aptitude for the task have been rewarded,other than with simply - "lucky you!" - more work!!, more than an outgoing personality, possession of a penis and ability to arse kiss 😂

YANBU
When I was at school same kids got chosen for every lead role in a school play.
Happened 30 years later with DC at primary.

Head girl at primary was also sports captain and a house captain (plenty of others put their names down - although my own DD hates putting herself forward)
Same 2 kids that were head boy and girl at primary....7 years later are HG and HB at secondary (it's not a small school!)

I can see it from both sides.

Out of my 3 kids, one of them was always the chosen one. Always got main parts in school productions, always got certificates, head girl, picked for photo whenever something appeared in local press etc. And no, I wasn't in the PTA.

The other 2 never got a look in for anything. I have no clue why. All 3 worked their socks off and tried their very best at everything they did but only 1 of them was the child who 'got all the jobs'.

What do you say to the other 2 wondering what the hell they did wrong while at the same time give the other DC the praise their achievement deserves.

Very glad school days for mine are over.

Say something. That's the responsible thing to do. If you don't, it's likely to carry on bothering you and you may do something really non-constructive like moan to another parent or worse still, your DC might pick up on your discontent. Own your observation and empower yourself to raise it. Allow school the opportunity to respond to your grievance.

I'm a primary school teacher, and those rules are there for a really good reason. Ineligible candidates sit it out, and we prepare for elections by discussing with the class the virtues of a whole range of 'quiet' skills and attributes to a) highlight in one's manifesto and b) look out for in other candidates when considering how to place one's vote, which might be overlooked when dazzled by a great speech or a charismatic personality. We discuss the sanctity of the blind ballot as one of the cornerstones of democracy and strongly discourage playground canvassing and electioneering. We also explicitly voice the pitfalls of voting being influenced by popularity and expect children to be able to look past this.

Some pupils are all over these 'opportunities' and spend considerable time and energy drafting and rehearsing compelling speeches. Good for them. It shows they value the role and are the kind of people who are up for putting in the required effort to make a success of the appointment.

I've got one of each. DC2 is one of those 'golden' children ‐borrowing a term used upthread‐ who makes every effort at pretty much everything and is usually elected or selected for something, despite not being particularly academic or high achieving. Her skills are people and do-gooding. As a teacher, I never have the opportunity to engage with her school; always wraparound care and never actually get to see her teacher, so have zero influence.

DC1 is ND and never had the confidence or the organisational skills to get elected for anything in primary school. Because there are so many pupils like DC1, I usually have non-elected 'positions of trust' in my class which give pupils (appointed by me on termly rotation) a chance to step up to important roles (often 'busier' as involve day to day or weekly classroom management).

This used to happen at my school. Teachers had favourite girls. I wasn’t one of them, and would be left disappointed.

One time there was an essay competition & the prize was a trip to Paris. It was won by a girl, who’d grown up in France…

This reminds me of when I was at primary school and there was an art competition every year.
this one year, the kids with parents on the PTA won again (same results every year - some of them clearly had grow ups help each time etc) and so they kept winning all the prizes.
but one year the head master pulled me into his office and said he didn’t agree with the PTA ladies but was outvoted - but that actually he would’ve picked mine to win so he had it framed and put it on his wall! That was the best prize :)

Don't complain. But tell the teacher that there are children who feel like its not worth bothering with as they feel the result us a bygone conclusion.

If a child is picked for more than one role, they should have to chose the one they want, and someone else get offered the other role.

@BottlingBurpsForGrandma

How did she do in secondary and beyond? Is she still getting chosen for all the opportunities? What about her friends? Are they high achieving too?

So basically did she continue her 'golden' child trajectory?

I love this!

@Anni1234

Is it a private school by any chance?

I find that some parents at my kids school get their own way all the time by throwing tantrums.

I disagree with the PTA parent not having an influence. Of course it does ! Most of our PTA parents have kids allocated the special jobs, starring roles in plays and not to mention it’s those parents always selected for being the one chosen to be the only parent volunteer on school trips. I’ve seen these parents . They kiss arse.
Also teachers kids get main roles too.

It’s the way it is and not much the rest of us can do about it: only to drum into our children the importance of kindness and trying hard. That’s all we can do.

in quite a lot of schools teachers find the PTA parents a bit of a PITA! Especially the parents that think they are more ‘important’ because of it or start trying to influence decisions beyond their fundraising role! But these sort of people are likely to be enthusiastic, confident and keen to be involved so it does follow that their children may inherit some of these qualities and be the ones that spend ages writing their speeches (and get their parents to listen). I have been both a teacher and a PTA person in different schools.
When kids vote for things it can be a popularity contest, but they do generally vote for the person likely to be the ‘best’, at the job.

Sounds like the TV awards with Ant and Dec.

But presumably if the majority vote overwhelmingly for a particular child then the teachers aren’t going to ignore that, because if they then put another one in their place the other kids might resent them. It sounds like this girl is just very, very popular with her peers.

When you say PTA parents ‘kiss arse’ what do you mean?
And of course the parents that the school knows better and the ones that contribute are the ones that go on trips - why would it be otherwise? The school choose people they know are reliable. Apart from anything they are more likely to have a dbs.

At DD1’s primary school, the drama teacher’s daughter had the leading role in every play - Mary in the nativity, Goldilocks in The Three Bears. A group of us went to complain to the new head that other children should be given the chance. She agreed, and apparently he threw a hissy fit and resigned and pulled his daughter out of the school!

Say something. I doubt very much it is the case, but wonder if there is some pressure being put on one of the teachers or the head by the parents of said child.

@EveSix I have two children one is quieter and the other is a born leader. DS is just the sort you describe who would write a speech and think through all angles on how to succeed. He was on the eco council and a class rep. He also gets to know everyone and is very much the protagonist. Now as a young adult on a degree apprenticeship within a week of them all meeting on their University course he had arranged the first night out.

In the 15 years that I've had children go though school, I've definitely seen a link between those who get the roles/awards/best school trips etc as those who have PTA or governor parents. It's a bit crap but it is what it is!

The comments about PTA parents are laughable. I'm on ours and generally get the impression the school finds us a bit of a pain in the arse (although happily enjoy the thousands of pounds we raise each year!)

DD certainly doesn't get any preferential treatment - never gets picked for anything!

Can you ask the school why, on their Facebook page so they can answer all the parents with the same question.

Family - but is that because of the type of person the child is (keen to be involved, natural leader, likes being on committees) or do you think their parents push for it? And how would that happen - PTA person “make sure little X is on the eco committee” <passes brown envelope>, teacher says “I’ll see what I can do 😉 “.

@TimeForHygge no mainstream church VA

@Inkpotlover She's popular but seems to get ignored for the only 1 job per child rule. If it was that she got voted for everything surely the teacher would step in and suggest another child or whoever got 2nd, but no this child just gets all the jobs