Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Ken Dodd's notebooks / his wife's decision

90 replies

randommm · 07/09/2023 12:49

A random one here but on the radio this morning I heard about how Ken Dodd's wife has published his notebooks, against his dying wish was that they be destroyed.

I'm not particularly interested in Ken Dodd, not my humour, and he was before my time, but I must admit I felt very shocked that his widow chose to go against his dying wishes so much. The notebooks feature some of his thoughts and ideas apparently, and will now be displayed to the public in an exhibition.

I think I can sort of understand her not wanting to burn the notebooks, and wanting to keep them for herself for her own private memories. But the idea that she's now putting them on display seems very sad given he expressly asked her (and presumably trusted her) to get rid of them.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Cookerhood · 07/09/2023 17:26

I saw the interview on the BBC at lunchtime today. She said even when he asked her she had no intention of complying but decided to lie yo him to make him happy. It all made me feel a bit uncomfortable.

alexdgr8 · 07/09/2023 17:29

maybe she could have donated them to an academic library, so they would be preserved for researchers.
but ultimately it's her decision.

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 07/09/2023 17:30

I saw the interview on the BBC at lunchtime today. She said even when he asked her she had no intention of complying but decided to lie yo him to make him happy

Odd, isn't it? She wanted to make him happy to know that his final wishes would be respected - and then deliberately ignored them.

whatsappdoc · 07/09/2023 17:33

Typical lazy husband! Why burn them yourself when you can get your wife to do it?

They're hers. Probably a burden. She should be able to do what she wants with them.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/09/2023 17:33

The wiki page says ' he thought that marriage could lead to complacency in a relationship, and caused some couples to stop putting in any effort '

He didn't marry his previous partner even when she was dying. Suppose she might have got a bit complacent about being the perfect partner from her hospital bed.

Got to keep them keen, I guess.

Anyhow, he's dead. He doesn't have any feelings about this now.

SirChenjins · 07/09/2023 17:57

Obviously he can’t have any feelings about them now - that kind of goes along with the state of being dead! The fact is that he had strong feelings about them when he was alive and she lied to him about her intention to honour those wishes. Lesson learned I suppose - don’t ever trust your spouse. How sad.

TwigTheWonderKid · 07/09/2023 17:59

I heard her being interviewed on Radio 4 and I really think she has done this from a place of love. From what she was saying, he thought some of the entries reflected badly on him, but when she actually read them they were often self-critical but insightful. And she has only given 10 out if 1,000 notebooks to the museum.

I myself am dying and I have made sure to dispose of anything which might be upsetting for my husband or children to read. If he'd really wanted them destroyed I really think he would have done it whilst he was alive.

pickledandpuzzled · 07/09/2023 18:01

I can understand saying whatever you need to when a loved one is dying. I'd have agreed the sky was Green if it would have kept DF calm.

And it does depend on the content. It may not be in any way personal like a diary, rather an exposure of his process.

He may have undervalued it.

PurpleChrayne · 07/09/2023 18:06

Ken Dodd's dad's dog's dead.

sparklefresh · 07/09/2023 18:17

LookingForPurpose · 07/09/2023 13:17

Change not books to sex toys or wank videos. As a writer i can promise you that the things I write in my morning pages and diaries are for ME and not for public consumption. My notebooks are incredibly personal and I would be devastated if my family shared them publicly after my death.

But you wouldn't be devastated... you wouldn't be anything, because you'd be dead.

I think that she gave him the assurance he wanted, which probably provided some comfort to him. She's now doing what she wants, in a way that cannot hurt or harm him. If he wanted them destroyed he could have done it himself.

BIossomtoes · 07/09/2023 18:51

I think she’s done what she thinks right. I’m biased because I think there’s a special place in hell for people who destroy irreplaceable documents. Cassandra Austen is currently rotating on a spit there.

jenbj · 07/09/2023 19:17

Is she making money from it? If yes, then that's almost certainly her motivation. Greed is not pretty and it's shameful to go against someone's dying wishes. He clearly trusted her not to betray him.

Certainlyreally · 07/09/2023 19:31

6. On his famous tax fraud trial: "I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside."

From the BBC article on his best jokes... this isnt funny? Or am i missing something?

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 07/09/2023 19:36

From the BBC article on his best jokes... this isnt funny? Or am i missing something?

He was of his time. I personally never found him very funny, but a lot of people liked his delivery and stage-presence when he told his jokes, which was indeed exuberant.

I see Morecambe & Wise pretty much the same way, tbh.

ItSoundsLikeADrag · 07/09/2023 19:40

I think it’s awful.
Yes he’s dead and obviously won’t know about it, but people will form judgements about things, and him. He wanted them burnt, such a shame she has betrayed him in this way.

this isnt funny? Or am i missing something? possibly. It’s corny rather than funny, it’s very Ken Dodd and of his time.

Hawkins0009 · 07/09/2023 19:43

randommm · 07/09/2023 13:08

Interesting. So you think it's ok for her to go completely against his wishes?

how is that any different when judges over rule at times peoples will's ?

IvorTheEngineDriver · 07/09/2023 20:15

His wishes, but they're her property. If she wants to do it, good luck to her. No doubt she has her reasons.

Lagershandy · 07/09/2023 20:19

VictoriaVenkman · 07/09/2023 16:20

I suspect her motives are financial.

I thought Ken Dodd was hilarious. I saw a gig of his once and couldn't stop laughing.

Me too! Loved his 'battle between the Cavaliers and Roundheads at Watford Gap and the launching of the mushy pea bombs' gag😄

Cucumber1234 · 07/09/2023 20:25

Who is Ken?

Thatsmorethanhalf · 07/09/2023 20:32

Certainlyreally · 07/09/2023 19:31

6. On his famous tax fraud trial: "I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside."

From the BBC article on his best jokes... this isnt funny? Or am i missing something?

Inland is by definition far from the seaside if you get me. Not a belly laugh really.

NotTheSlugandLettuce · 07/09/2023 20:33

Clingfilm · 07/09/2023 13:13

I was thinking the same OP, as much as I'd love to see them, he didn't want them seen.

I agree

ConstitutionHill · 07/09/2023 20:35

Jackie Kennedy burned her diaries when she knew she was terminal

Hawkins0009 · 07/09/2023 20:37

Cucumber1234 · 07/09/2023 20:25

Who is Ken?

Ask Barbie

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 07/09/2023 20:38

Who is Ken?

Is that meant to be a joke? If not, search for his name online and you will find out. You will also get a lot of context if you read this thread.

Hawkins0009 · 07/09/2023 20:39

J Edgar hoover left orders to have his files shredded, but seems he was crafty the way he had them with his different trusted confidant's