How far do you go for an outing with the dc?

[elliejjtiny]

We have 5 dc at 3 different schools so inset days are special days where we can go out with 1 or 2 dc to the trampoline park or similar and get a slushie without spending a fortune or have half the children moaning that they didn't want to go or that they hate the national trust etc. It's 12 year old ds3's turn tomorrow so we booked his choice of venue and I'm looking forward to it. It's one of those ninja warrior inflatable things about an hours drive away and he will love it.

Mil asked if she could come round tomorrow and dh said fine and I said no, we're busy and dh and I have that conversation that starts with dh asking where we're going and me telling dh that this is what happens when he says fine and ok to me when I'm talking and he's not listening.

Anyway, MIL has just been going on and on about how it's ridiculous we are going that far, we should be doing things close to home, we are always going out places etc etc. We are rural so if we want to go anywhere other than the 4 places we always go to then we need to travel at least 30 minutes. We don't go on holiday and I haven't been more than 10 minutes away from my house in the last month due to various things so quite frankly I feel like I deserve a trip out. Can I just check that I'm not being unreasonable.

Yanbu but I don't understand why MIL can't still come round? If the session js a morning one she could come for dinner. If the session is an afternoon she could come over in the morning.

Or she could hop in the car and come with, these places usually have a cafe she could have a cuppa and watch.

If it suits you and the children then completely reasonable. I'll (rarely) drive up to two hours for a day trip, such as to go mountain walking.

An hour for a treat seems perfectly fine, especially if it is the closest option for the activity. We drove 30mins to go to a big new playground and splash park at the weekend.

I drove 45 mins to visit an outdoor pool today. Would go further for a theme park etc if you’re rural an hour isn’t bad

It's an hour not ten! Don't understand why you can't still see her though?

Why do you care what she thinks? It doesn’t matter if the venue is next door to your house or a five hour drive away. You want to go and your DC want to go. She’s not paying for your petrol and you’re not putting extra mileage on her car, so her opinions on your leisure time are irrelevant. Let her moan to your DH. Not your problem.

I don't drive so we use public transport and I'd think nothing of taking 60-90 mins to get somewhere for a day out.

One of my fave easy outings is a lovely park which is a 15 min train journey - but the station is a 20 min walk - that feels like a local trip to me 😂

For a special day out eg inset or in the holidays (as opposed to a normal weekend) I'd happily do an hour or so on the train, we regularly go to the coast for the day which is 75 min train journey, and that's if it actually runs on time!

We drive 40mins (25miles) for an extra curricular club!

Thank you. She wanted to come for the whole day so that FIL and DH can do their hobby together and she can fuss over them, make them tea every 5 minutes and try to "help"

YANBU
We travel up to 3 hours away for days out
And I understand why you can't see her as well. A full day out with multiple children is extremely tiring, especially a physical activity like you're doing. No way would I ho see my MIL after that.

Are you and dh both booked onto the Ninja thing too? If not, surely only one of you needs to take him? Then he and FIL and MIL can do whatever hobby/tea fussing they like and you can have a reason not to have to watch it.

So she’s actually just annoyed that your family day out is spoiling her plans for your DH? I wonder whether she’d have an issue with the distance if it was just you taking your DC and your DH was staying at home.

Approx an hour to 1.5.
Longer than that i get bored travelling let alone the dcs!

2 hours is my maximum as I don’t drive so that’s on public transport

Are both parents booked onto the ninja thing? If not can't you take him and your husband and MIL can do their hobby?

We drove 2 hours there and 2 hours back to Peppa Pig World in Southampton last week. That's a bit unusual for us, but we're going to drive an hour each way at the weekend to take the kids to the nearest swimming pool I could find which has a waterslide and we're driving just over an hour each way to another theme park soon as well.

When we lived in NI, we regularly drove the hour to Derry to go to the preschoolers' favourite soft play and we'd make a day out of it with the great parks etc. We usually went weekly or fortnightly, and drove 30 mins to Strabane for the next nearest one pretty much every couple of days until it closed down. About once a month we'd drive a bit further to Buncrana to this great park right next to a beautiful beach. I know in GB people don't drive as far for stuff but I'm not really sure why when there's so much great stuff just beyond where we live.

I live in the Midlands so in the fortunate position we can get most place sun less than 2 hours, hence we could be going anywhere from Manchester to Bristol to London. YANBU.

When my kids were little I’d drive an hour easily for an outing.

I really isn’t anyone’s business what you do with your time and money if you’re not asking someone else to provide for it!

one time I drove 18 hours each way with 3 kids for our holidays!

and drove 30 mins to Strabane for the next nearest one
That should have said "for the nearest one" not the "next nearest one". Edit button has disappeared already.

YANBU I think most people would travel an hour for a day out, even if some people might not want to travel much more than that
She's just annoyed her plans have been stymied

I’d drive up to an hour but not that often. I live in a city though so it’s usually up to 20 mins. I imagine it’s a different story when you live rurally and it’s lovely you’re making an effort to spend time doing what your dc want.

An hour is a fairly normal weekend trip out for us, we go by public transport and are in London so it's not necessarily far in miles. We'll travel up to 2 hours for a special day trip (seaside or theme park), any longer than that and the dc get too tired so we do it as a mini break. I like to get out and about and explore new places, I find the idea of just going around local places really dull and suffocating.

Thank you. Neither DH or I are doing the ninja thing but I can't drive and tbh having both parents watching him as he dangles from the ceiling is all part of the fun. Neither dh or fil were that bothered about not doing their hobby, just agreed to do it next week instead. Mil doesn't do the hobby, I think her main objection is that she thinks as DH works SE from home and I'm a carer then we should be just hanging around the house all day, desperately waiting for her to visit us.

It’s none of her business how far you go! She had her chance to parent her way and now it’s your turn to do as you like. I’ve lived in rural areas and in a big city and it actually took twice as long to get half as far in the city. Driving 30mins is really nothing. Even in my small town it can take that long to get across if there’s traffic. I used to drive 2+ hours regularly for camping and swimming in the wild, it was wonderful. I don’t regret any effort I put in for excursions of any kind as they were good memories and good for the kids. MIL sounds like a stick in the mud.

yanbu. We travel at least an hour and often closer to two hours. And I get how precious inset days are, so fully understand that having the ILs around would be inconvenient. You already have plans.

Just tell your dh he can stay home on his own, and leave them to it.