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Original poster

Will I hear from him.

62 replies

Greyfoot · 03/09/2023 15:09

I suspect not, but it all seemed so positive last night 😆

I was at a wedding, he was a friend of the groom, I know B&G. It had been a lovely day and the evening party was in full swing. I'd danced with lots of people, chatted and laughed with lots of people.

I'm not sure where he came from TBH, I hadn't noticed him earlier, but there he was next to me at the bar, with this smile.

We chatted and danced, spent the rest of the evening together. I really enjoyed myself. He asked for my number, which I gave him and he called my phone which was in my bag across the room (to check it worked or so I'd have his number?).

Anyway when I got home, I saw the missed call, saved the number and sent a quick text just saying thanks for a fun evening (should I have?)

I haven't heard anything. I wouldn't have expected to hear yet if I hadn't sent the text, but no acknowledgement?

We're both middle aged BTW, he a few years younger than me. I've been out of this game for a really long time!

OP posts:
AndThenItWas · 05/09/2023 12:25

Any update OP?

AMuser · 05/09/2023 12:28

If he was a decent guy and wanted to see you again the first text was fine.
but given no response you have to assume he’s not interested. Which is a shame.

Bansheed · 05/09/2023 12:29

Just carry on living your life. You behaved perfectly. If he is keen he will reply. If not, he won't.

Just try to put it in the 'nice memory' box and open it agin if he gets in contact.

DO NOT SEND ANOTHER MESSAGE

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Helpmepleaseimbusy · 05/09/2023 12:30

Greyfoot · 04/09/2023 18:52

Was texting him at the end of the evening a mistake? It feels like I have a lot to learn 😆

Don't text him again.
It wasn't a mistake to text him at the end of the evening. If he's into you it won't matter.

When you find the right person you the "should I have texted?" Etc won't matter

GLORIAGloriarse · 05/09/2023 12:35

Absolutely fine to text! Definitely don't send anything asking if there's an issue. Just leave it in his court. If he decides not to follow up it's his loss but hopefully you'll hear back.

Ladyoftheknight · 05/09/2023 12:52

Give it a day, then message him asking if he'd like to go for a drink.

Gimjam · 05/09/2023 13:07

Delete his number so you won't be tempted to text him. And you did nothing wrong

coloursquare · 05/09/2023 13:13

Ladyoftheknight · 05/09/2023 12:52

Give it a day, then message him asking if he'd like to go for a drink.

No no no!! Don't do this. He knows how to contact you.

x2boys · 05/09/2023 13:24

Why can't the Op.text him?
Mumsnet is so weird about dating its 2023 why can't a woman text a man?

Justcallmebebes · 05/09/2023 13:27

x2boys · 05/09/2023 13:24

Why can't the Op.text him?
Mumsnet is so weird about dating its 2023 why can't a woman text a man?

Cos that would be double texting and she has texted first, he hasn't replied. The onus is now on him to text

Gimjam · 05/09/2023 13:28

Because she has already made the first move and texted and he hasn't responded!

coloursquare · 05/09/2023 14:04

x2boys · 05/09/2023 13:24

Why can't the Op.text him?
Mumsnet is so weird about dating its 2023 why can't a woman text a man?

To be brutal:

If you've exchanged numbers and you fancy the person, when you text them and they don't reply it means they aren't interested.

Chasing them will not alter this fact.

Tracker1234 · 05/09/2023 15:40

Reminds me of the Sex in the city episode where Burger says if men are interested they will contact you. Accept that he might not be that into you.. very wise words.

Fingers crossed that he contacts you but you have done enough. When my DH and I met through online dating many many years ago he contacted me after our first date. It was such a refreshing change to have someone who was just normal and didn’t wonder if there was someone better just around the corner

Sittingonabench · 05/09/2023 15:50

You certainly haven’t done anything wrong - life’s too short to play these games and you are both adults. Equally life’s too short to get caught up on someone who doesn’t text back (although I’d give him a few days grace). You had a lovely evening with connection and a spark (which sometimes fizzle out the next day) but what’s making you giddy isn’t him but the possibilities. Those are still out there

Original poster
Greyfoot · 08/09/2023 12:27

So I didn't hear from him, which is OK, life goes on, but why did he go to the bother of asking for my number and sending me his (which I know is genuine from the missed call) if an hour later he cba to respond to a text?

We did have a bit of a snog which I'm struggling to live down, very out of character for me but he didn't even try anything else, so it's not like it was all part of a failed scheme to get me into bed that night.

OP posts:
x2boys · 08/09/2023 12:34

Greyfoot · 08/09/2023 12:27

So I didn't hear from him, which is OK, life goes on, but why did he go to the bother of asking for my number and sending me his (which I know is genuine from the missed call) if an hour later he cba to respond to a text?

We did have a bit of a snog which I'm struggling to live down, very out of character for me but he didn't even try anything else, so it's not like it was all part of a failed scheme to get me into bed that night.

Who knows?maybe he's got back with an ex or something ,anyway it was just a snog on wards and upwards .

rainbowhairchalk · 08/09/2023 12:43

Can you ask the bride and groom if they know anything?

Original poster
Greyfoot · 08/09/2023 12:45

rainbowhairchalk · 08/09/2023 12:43

Can you ask the bride and groom if they know anything?

I could but I'm not going to give him the impression I mind and I'm sure it would get back 😆

OP posts:
Ollifer · 08/09/2023 12:48

Aw that's really crap op. I can see why you'd be disappointed and confused. Who knows why he didn't get in touch, it could be a number of things. Dust yourself off and onto the next !

Olika · 08/09/2023 12:51

Just forget him. If a man wants you, he will make it happen. It hurts/annoys I know, we all have been there, but don't waste your energy.

Original poster
Greyfoot · 08/09/2023 13:01

Olika · 08/09/2023 12:51

Just forget him. If a man wants you, he will make it happen. It hurts/annoys I know, we all have been there, but don't waste your energy.

Oh I know, I get that. But he initiated everything, he asked for my number and he made a point of making sure I had his. I don't "care" as such, it just seems weird and I'm curious.

OP posts:
Lilolilibet · 08/09/2023 13:05

I don't think you did anything wrong at all. He will have his own reasons for not following up on a good thing. I'd be glad you know now as men like this are tiresome.

Fififafa · 08/09/2023 13:11

It’s best just to put it down to experience. There could be a number of reasons, including him already seeing someone else. No point thinking about it(as hard as it is). Some men are just shits.

TheGoodBanana · 08/09/2023 13:14

That's a shame but you clearly had an enjoyable evening so take it for what it was.

Seems like you are ready to date though so maybe that's something to get into, just not with this guy.

x2boys · 08/09/2023 14:27

Greyfoot · 08/09/2023 13:01

Oh I know, I get that. But he initiated everything, he asked for my number and he made a point of making sure I had his. I don't "care" as such, it just seems weird and I'm curious.

Show quote history

Honestly there is no.point in dwelling on it maybe it seemed like a good idea at the time and then he had second thought ,its no reflection on you it is what it is

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