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Original poster

How much cash for wedding present?

57 replies

Clawdy · 31/08/2023 19:32

Going to wedding on Saturday. Lovely young couple, we have known the groom for quite a few years, and we are invited to the sevice and meal afterwards. They want money as a gift, not presents, which is fine, but how much to give? Two other friends going say they are giving £50. Is that enough, or a bit mean? Really don't know, it's been so long since we went to a wedding!

OP posts:
StBernie · 31/08/2023 20:54

Most people gave us £50 per couple at our wedding a few years back. So I consider that to be a standard amount, in my circle at least.

FlowersareEverything · 31/08/2023 20:57

I would say £100 per couple.

Original poster
Clawdy · 31/08/2023 20:59

Glad I posted this, it's looking as if £100 from DH and I should be the norm.

OP posts:

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Weddings
rhino12345 · 31/08/2023 20:59

For a "full day" £200 (£100 per person). Maybe £150 if I didn't know them as well etc.
I usually do a gift of £50 for just the evening, either cash or a groupon type thing/voucher for John Lewis.

Wizadora25 · 31/08/2023 21:08

£50 was the standard amount when we got married recently.

googledidnthelp · 31/08/2023 21:08

We just got married and has zero expectations but the most common amount was £50 per couple/family.

We had a few lower amounts and we get
Lucky to have several higher amounts.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 31/08/2023 23:48

Matchinglipsandfingertips · 31/08/2023 20:04

I hate this request.
I think £50 is enough but it's rude imo.

Not really rude. People live together before marriage now so have 0 use for plates and decor and random casserole dishes.

You don't have to give money. But they'd rather money or nothing.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 31/08/2023 23:51

I'd give £50 if you're a bit skint and £100 if not (per couple). Meal cost alone is £50-90 a head from what I've seen on wedding sites recently. Bonkers.

MerryMarigold · 01/09/2023 00:28

lemonyaid · 31/08/2023 20:26

I disagree. If you've had to spend lots on a fancy outfit due to their dress code then you should pay less as a gift

Show quote history

That's plenty of ways to dress up cheaply - eBay, vinted etc. Or, you could always not go! But I think it's odd if people pay out hundreds on what they look like and then moan about giving a bit of cash as a gift. (I got married 20 years ago, so I don't have any personal issue with this, it's just something I've started thinking about recently when we went to a wedding and I thought about how silly it was to spend loads on what I was wearing/ having my hair done etc).

wanttokickoffbutcant · 01/09/2023 00:47

I had to buy a bridesmaid dress and pay for travel and an expensive hotel and I gave £50.....the whole thing probably cost me nearly a grand with outfits etc

ConsuelaHammock · 01/09/2023 01:05

When we were attending lots of weddings in the early 2000’s we gave £ 100-150 . Average was probably £100. Would probably give closer to £200 now but haven’t been to a wedding since my youngest brother’s a decade ago. Think we gave him about £300 . Weddings are a big deal in N Ireland.

caringcarer · 01/09/2023 01:07

Lauren83 · 31/08/2023 20:02

We do £100 as a couple

We do too unless it's a nephew or niece then £200.

ConsuelaHammock · 01/09/2023 01:07

£50 is not enough for a couple if you’re invited to the service and the meal. I’d give £50 for an evening reception.

Original poster
Clawdy · 01/09/2023 08:18

Some good advice on here, glad I posted. Think I will put a cheque in card, rather than cash? Might be safer, not sure what the situation is with big piles of cards, maybe a box to put them in.

OP posts:
Nuca · 01/09/2023 08:25

We got married last year and it varied between £20 to £200. Just give whatever you feel comfortable with, even all the little amounts still add up and I don't think anyone should expect to be given a big amount

Katjolo · 01/09/2023 08:26

100 - 150

Nuca · 01/09/2023 08:29

Also this may sound stupid but if you send them a cheque, make sure it's in the current name rather than the future name (if they are changing name) if that makes sense? We got given 5 cheques, and all of them had written them to 'Mr & Mrs ...' which wasn't my name at that point, so we had to wait 12 weeks for all the name change stuff to be valid before we could pay them in as our bank wouldn't take them

Laneymoo · 01/09/2023 09:37

Usually someone like the best man or maid of honour will look after the cards or there could be a letterbox that's locked that you put the cards into.

wizzywig · 01/09/2023 09:38

£100 per couple attending. Were an Asian family if that makes any difference

Original poster
Clawdy · 01/09/2023 09:40

Nuca good point about the name.

OP posts:
TeamSleep · 01/09/2023 09:43

Laneymoo · 31/08/2023 20:00

Oh I hear ya! Exact reason why I've said no to two other weddings this year, it's madness.

This is a shame if people are turning down invites because they can’t afford the expected amount for a present, surely any decent couple would rather your presence at their wedding and not care what gift you give.

OP, give what you can afford. For me that’s £50. Anyone who thinks that’s not enough when we’ve also made the effort to dress up, travel and maybe even stay overnight and attend hen/stag do is not someone I would want as a friend anyway.

Laneymoo · 01/09/2023 09:45

TeamSleep · 01/09/2023 09:43

This is a shame if people are turning down invites because they can’t afford the expected amount for a present, surely any decent couple would rather your presence at their wedding and not care what gift you give.

OP, give what you can afford. For me that’s £50. Anyone who thinks that’s not enough when we’ve also made the effort to dress up, travel and maybe even stay overnight and attend hen/stag do is not someone I would want as a friend anyway.

Show quote history

It's not just the present like you said, it's everything else. Travel, accommodation, time off work, childminding, dress, hair, make up. The list is endless.

Lauren83 · 03/09/2023 16:00

Just to update as I posted saying £100 as a couple, it came up in the taxi on the way down and it ranged mainly from £50-£100 with most being £300 from the best man

TheChosenTwo · 03/09/2023 16:02

We do £100 for friends/acquaintances and £500 for family and closest friends.
We don’t go to many weddings though these days, maybe one or two a year.
And for just evenings it’s always a flat £100.

Hadalifeonce · 03/09/2023 16:06

You give as much as you want to or can afford to. There is no set amount to give as a wedding present as everybody's situation is different.