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Original poster

I texted the guy who ghosted me…

61 replies

winelover82 · 30/08/2023 22:53

I was being so strong. But I was drunk, and gave in.

Now we are messaging again. No sign of meeting up. But I can tell I am already getting frustrated at his lack of effort.

Yet, I still want his breadcrumbs of attention?

I hate how I am like this and how I have no self respect 😢

OP posts:
Original poster
winelover82 · 31/08/2023 13:55

@Nagado thank you so much. This is really sensible advice. I feel I should just block him to be honest, which I’ve never done.

OP posts:
CassiniG · 31/08/2023 15:15

tinybuddha.com/blog/if-you-want-a-healthy-relationship-value-yourself/

"It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self-love deficit.” ~Eartha Kitt

CassiniG · 31/08/2023 15:16

Your Sense of Self-Worth Determines Your Relationship Standards
If you don’t like and love yourself, you don’t value yourself, so you’ll have low standards for how you let people treat you. We simply don’t protect and take care of what we don’t hold in high regard.
The way you treat yourself and how you let others treat you shows you how much or little you really value yourself. So notice the standards you set. Notice what you tolerate. This will tell you whether or not you value yourself if you are unsure.

Interested in this thread?

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Relationship problems
Original poster
winelover82 · 31/08/2023 19:09

I gave in and texted him a question 😢
I won’t respond then.

OP posts:
Nagado · 01/09/2023 06:25

winelover82 · 31/08/2023 19:09

I gave in and texted him a question 😢
I won’t respond then.

Yeah you will. You know you will.

At this point, the only way it’s going to end is when he ghosts you again. Or you meet someone who distracts you from him. You know this isn’t healthy. You have to delete and block and then fill up every spare minute of your time. It’s the only way.

BullshitDetectionService3000 · 01/09/2023 07:29

winelover82 · 31/08/2023 19:09

I gave in and texted him a question 😢
I won’t respond then.

beep

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 01/09/2023 16:40

Did he reply OP?

Sugarfish · 01/09/2023 18:47

If he replies don’t reply back. Then ghost him like he did to you!

Bookridden · 01/09/2023 19:12

Following (because I can identify with the OP).

Original poster
winelover82 · 01/09/2023 22:27

Yes, he replied within about 30 minutes.
I replied 19 hours later.
Then he replied.
Then I did, and asked a question.
I’ve been left on read again.

Please don’t come @ me. I hate that I am like this. I know he’s not an horrible individual but for some reason I just get this high of seeing his name pop up on my phone, even though actually he doesn’t care about me at all. It’s like an addiction.

It’s just silly. I need to work on myself and work on fulfilling my life in other ways.

OP posts:
TotalOverhaul · 01/09/2023 22:34

winelover82 · 30/08/2023 22:57

Only about 2 months but it was quite intense (for me anyway).

I think I just wanted some attention, self-validation, affection.

But you aren't getting any of those things from him. So block him and put a plan in place to date some other men until you find one who does give you attention and affection.

As for self-validation - it has to come from you - as you know. You need to be certain of your own worth not hope some random OLD will raise it for you. You can work on this. It's a win-win thing to work on, because you start to feel better about yourself and then you start to attract better men.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 01/09/2023 22:37

I wouldn't get at you. I'm married but if I was single I would be like this I know I would. But you can break the cycle and it will be so worth it. You are more than this narcissistic dickhead

Original poster
winelover82 · 03/09/2023 08:53

Well, I am still left on read. And I actively asked him a question. F**k him. I just always feel like I want to be the last one to say something, but, it’s not a game is it and that really doesn’t matter? I just HAVE to move on now.

OP posts:
Calistano · 03/09/2023 09:04

It might have to play out, but you will eventually get bored and fuck him off. I was utterly heartbroken about a bloke, went back and forward many times, until when I went to visit him it seemed like literally visiting the past. What once we're charming idiosyncracies were now glaring and annoying character flaws. For some reason I had to test it to destruction, people are weird.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 03/09/2023 09:18

winelover82 · 03/09/2023 08:53

Well, I am still left on read. And I actively asked him a question. F**k him. I just always feel like I want to be the last one to say something, but, it’s not a game is it and that really doesn’t matter? I just HAVE to move on now.

You're absolutely right

Nagado · 03/09/2023 11:01

winelover82 · 03/09/2023 08:53

Well, I am still left on read. And I actively asked him a question. F**k him. I just always feel like I want to be the last one to say something, but, it’s not a game is it and that really doesn’t matter? I just HAVE to move on now.

I think that the wanting to be the last to say something is you trying to have some control over the situation. I have the power and I’m choosing to end this conversation here. But, actually, you’re the last to say something quite a lot of the time because he’s just leaving you on read and it’s making you feel like shit. You’re giving him all that power to hurt you. Take it back. Delete all trace of him from your phone, block him and fill every minute of your time with something that distracts you. It is the ONLY way to stop this.

toomanyleggings · 03/09/2023 11:03

Read the ‘rules’ and join all their Facebook groups. Those ladies will keep you on track.

Original poster
winelover82 · 03/09/2023 14:59

@toomanyleggings is that by Ellen Fein?

@Nagado a really helpful perspective, thank you. I just read my message back and actually meant to say I want to be the one to take the power and not reply to him. But, I guess I could do that by blocking him etc.

OP posts:
toomanyleggings · 03/09/2023 21:58

@winelover82 yep

ThreeRingCircus · 03/09/2023 22:17

Block. Him.

HoliHormonalTigerLillyTheSecond · 03/09/2023 22:40

Block him and forget about him.
The right person will find you op.

Kittensat36 · 03/09/2023 23:22

It’s like feeling really insecure about your appearance and then asking a 3 year old whether you look nice. Nothing good is ever going to come from it.
@nagado that is one of the greatest pieces of advice I have ever seen on Mumsnet.

Original poster
winelover82 · 04/09/2023 08:34

I am going to block him. I am just so annoyed that I was the one who sent the last message.

Does that matter?

OP posts:
Original poster
winelover82 · 04/09/2023 08:43

Like it’s not a game is it? It’s just frustrating I let him not reply to me, again… 😩
Please can someone re-assure me I am going to be fine!

OP posts: