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Original poster

Were you living in your forever home when you first had kids?

117 replies

CDloop · 30/08/2023 21:41

I’m not pregnant yet but we only live in a small house at the moment and we’ll have to move at least once or twice. I love the idea of buying a forever home and having all your babies… but it feels unobtainable in this day and age what with interest rates! I would be interested to see whether most people do or don’t, at the point of having babies? Thanks.

OP posts:
StopThatBloodyNoise · 31/08/2023 08:09

I was married, living in a rented council maisonette, when we had our first child. We then got a move to a council house (terraced) and had our 2nd child. We got a mortgage, then sold that place 6 years later, and moved to a larger house on a private estate. Been here 32 years, so I suppose this is our forever house

ohfook · 31/08/2023 08:09

No but I don't believe in the concept of a forever home - and also I couldn't afford it then. But the house I'm in now as I grow my family isn't the house that'll be best for me when they've all left home.

Rocknrollstar · 31/08/2023 08:15

Yes. We bought our house two years before we had our first baby but we didn’t know it was our forever home neither did we intend it to be. We thought DH would be moved by his company but he ended up changing careers. The house was in a good position for bringing up children and we extended it. Now thinking we will need to move eventually but still enjoying the space we have.

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autumnboys · 31/08/2023 08:15

Our last two house moves, I have been pregnant (different kids!) so no. We’ll stay here for as long as we can though, very happy here. The baby I was expecting when we moved in is now nearly 14.

distinctpossibility · 31/08/2023 08:23

Yes but then "forever" plans changed. For us, in a positive direction financially.

We ended up moving twice - once between DC2 and DC3 and again when DC4 was 2.

YouNeverCanTellWithBees · 31/08/2023 08:28

Yes. Moved in and had DC four years later.

Squidlette · 31/08/2023 08:33

I don't believe in a forever home either. We were in a 3 bed ( or 2.5 bed to be honest) and kid of thought we'd stay there, but it ended up not really being big enough.

Moved to 4 bed detached when kids were upper end of primary, but when dh dies (older than me), I'll have to downsize. There's no way I'll be able to look after it, or afford people to do it for me. I reckon I've got about 25 years here, though.

KnittedCardi · 31/08/2023 08:34

No, and I don't know anyone who has, even back in the 80/90's..

We all started in flats, then small houses, had one DC, moved, had another DC, moved again. Been here for 20 years now, but moved when DD's were 1 and 6.

snowgal · 31/08/2023 08:38

No, we were all squashed into 1 bed bungalow when we had our first. Moved into a larger house when DS was 1 and got pregnant with our second. We've now moved back into a smaller house whilst we plan to build of our next house. Heaven knows if that will be our forever home!

Twoshoesnewshoes · 31/08/2023 08:39

Also don’t believe in a forever home.
we had DD in a one bed rented flat,
had DS in a two bed terrace
DS2 (third and last) in a five bed detached
we’re now in a four bedroom semi.
I don’t regret it at all.
my sister waited for the right home, to be married etc, and had one lovely child but couldn’t have more as she was older and just didn’t conceive. We both wanted at least three DCs.

thdskdrggs · 31/08/2023 08:41

No, we had our children young, we were in it by the time we were 32 though, the main issue is schools. It was fine making do with a smaller house when they were little (not ideal, but manageable, especially with high childcare bills) but we needed to move out of area to afford the house we wanted which meant in year transfers and as such struggling to get into local schools.

Thankfully before secondary so high school isn't an issue, but primary school runs are a pain in the bum and I find myself counting down the years which isn't nice!

Peony654 · 31/08/2023 08:41

Forever home is such a weird idea. Have a baby when it suits you, it doesn’t have to be in some ‘perfect’ home.

thdskdrggs · 31/08/2023 08:45

To add for me "forever home" just means long term family home, we wanted to be settled before secondary school and now we don't intend to move again until kids are out of high school. No idea if we'll stay or move in the long term but the goal was to get a big enough house for teens and the high school years. We might want to rethink location and house layout when it's adults we have visiting, we moved a lot before we settled so can't resign ourselves to one area for life! Will see where the kids end up and maybe follow them Grin

Persipan · 31/08/2023 08:51

I think forever homes are kind of bullshit anyway, but no. I lived in a 2-bed flat that was absolutely workable for starting a family but I doubt anyone would call it their 'forever home'.

smilesup · 31/08/2023 08:55

Forever Home sounds like some American bollocks along with push present and baby showers.
We bought this house when pregnant intending to move after 2 years. Still here. It's fine but love the area and our city so it works for us.

travelogue · 31/08/2023 08:58

No. But it was a lovely house and we could have stayed longer if we had fewer DC. Now five altogether so we had to move into a bigger place. And since then we've completely moved area. I don't believe in "forever homes" though - I see it as living somewhere that suits your needs (and budget) at that time. Also, that concept seems very limiting - "for now home" suits me better!

RoachFish · 31/08/2023 09:04

Definitely not. Since I had my first I have moved 7 times and lived in three different countries. Both kids turned out just fine and not traumatised by all the moving.

LynetteScavo · 31/08/2023 09:06

No. If we'd only had two children it could have been though. The mortgage would have been paid off years ago. My youngest has no idea how much she's actually cost us 😂

We are now in our "forever home" as DH will refuse to ever move. All the neighbours are about our age and don't look like they're going anywhere soon. One day it will be a street of little old people!

Cotswoldbee · 31/08/2023 09:07

We only moved into our "forever home" (I hate that phrase!) in our mid-50's although based on life expectancy there is the very real chance we won't be here as long as the 31yrs we were in our previous house.
I should imagine very few people have found their ideal home by the time they start a family. My M&D lived in the same house they bought when they married until when they died but I don't think they ever considered it their "forever home" as the phrase hadn't been coined back then. It was just a nice house with a lovely garden in a good location that ticked all their boxes and having both worked hard to buy it, didn't see any reason to move.

wellandtruly · 31/08/2023 09:12

I don’t think in terms of a “forever home”. My DC were born and raised in a two-bed terraced house. At one point we looked at moving, but the costs outweighed the benefits, so here we stayed.

CMOTDibbler · 31/08/2023 09:18

I've never thought of forever homes, just homes that work for now. Had ds in a house, moved 150 miles a year later, been here 15 years, now thinking about moving again in a couple of years

hexsnidgett · 31/08/2023 09:22

No, we were living in a grotty 1 bed rented flat. We have moved twice since and about to do it again. Houses don't suit your needs for ever, I am ready for my new little house for just me and dh.Grin
But our dc loved the old big house and growing up there.

thaisweetchill · 31/08/2023 09:25

No we lived in a 2 up, 2 down. Moved when DS was 18 months. The first house was to get on the ladder and we decided to move when house prices went up in 2020, best thing we did. The house is a renovation and nearly finished but we bought for the area and schools (we always wanted to move here though) we moved from very close to a city to a village.

Broodywuz · 31/08/2023 09:25

Yes, or certainly the home we plan to stay in until dc are adults. We didn't want to have children until we were financially sorted, including having the right house. We both come from families who did the same

Tjjd2023 · 31/08/2023 09:26

We purposefully chose our first home as somewhere where a family of 4 could fit. We have 3 good sized bedrooms - 2 doubles (it was advertised as 3 doubles but that's a bit of a push!). But now we have our first child I can see us outgrowing it. Not a lot of downstairs space - just a kitchen and lounge/diner (and ok sized garden) and only 1 loo in the house. We'll hopefully move into a bigger home once our family is complete!