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Original poster

Were you living in your forever home when you first had kids?

117 replies

CDloop · 30/08/2023 21:41

I’m not pregnant yet but we only live in a small house at the moment and we’ll have to move at least once or twice. I love the idea of buying a forever home and having all your babies… but it feels unobtainable in this day and age what with interest rates! I would be interested to see whether most people do or don’t, at the point of having babies? Thanks.

OP posts:
BlueRabbitYellow · 30/08/2023 23:18

No. I can't stand the stress and expense of moving. We cant magic up more square footage but we making changes to our home to make it work better for us. We are ending up using every precious inch.

FlorenceTheFerocious · 30/08/2023 23:19

We were in a rented flat when we had our first. Then moved to our small house. Always thought of it as a 'starter home', but now, with things being the way they are, we aren't likely to move now. Not for a long time anyway. I'm just making the best of it. We chose well in terms of location which makes a big difference. I can live with a small house in a nice area which we have.

Allthegoodusernamesareused · 30/08/2023 23:20

No. For a variety of reasons, we were still living in a 2 bed flat until my DDs were 5 and 11. I wouldn't call our tiny 3 bed a forever home, but I doubt we'll ever be able to afford anything bigger! That said, my girls are loved and want for nothing. Except perhaps a bit more space...

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Rivergardens · 30/08/2023 23:26

We moved in to a very nice three bed semi in a lovely road, we almost moved when DS was 10 in to a very big detached house with a garden that was huge, big enough for 2 houses to be built on it but the survey was truly awful. So we stayed here, mortgage free for almost 20 years and close to both being retired. DS is moving out next year and we will then move to a house that isn’t any bigger especially but that is detached and with more land. Looking to kind of semi rural edge of a town only around 30 mins away. We sort of live like this now but the town we have earmarked is nicer than the one we live in and it’s much cheaper as it’s not on a direct line to London.

Davros · 30/08/2023 23:58

Yes but we had to sell it 25 years later due to illness and debt 😢

NetballHoop · 31/08/2023 00:03

No but we moved 18 months after DS1 was born. We won't move again even though the house is far too big for us now.

2weekstowait · 31/08/2023 00:05

No, we had a very small house Didn't move until eldest was 11. We knew we'd have to move but couldn't afford it until then. It didn't matter and if we'd waited until then to have children I would have been too old!

RedHelenB · 31/08/2023 04:35

CDloop · 30/08/2023 21:41

I’m not pregnant yet but we only live in a small house at the moment and we’ll have to move at least once or twice. I love the idea of buying a forever home and having all your babies… but it feels unobtainable in this day and age what with interest rates! I would be interested to see whether most people do or don’t, at the point of having babies? Thanks.

Yes but tbh it was maybe a bit small for the no of dc. We added a ground floor extension though which helped.

Thepossibility · 31/08/2023 04:49

No. We liked the the house but had to move for better schools for the kids.

LittleLlama · 31/08/2023 04:49

Yes we were in our ‘forever home’ when our first child was born BUT we bought the house knowing we could extend it/change the layout which we could not afford until after our second child was born (although we had completed some preparation work). We are lucky, in that my brother is a plumber and knows people in the building trade.

Ponderingwindow · 31/08/2023 04:54

We thought we were right up until pregnancy. Then we decided to completely upend our lives, sell the house, and move to a new city. In the new city we decided to custom build a house so we had to rent a place while our new home was built. We didn’t get into our forever home until dd was 18 months old.

canonlyhopexo · 31/08/2023 04:56

Nope. Bought a tiny little terrace when I was 21 and had first baby at 24. Moved to "family" home when heavily pregnant with second baby at 28.

ErosandAgape · 31/08/2023 06:12

No, tiny one-bed flat in London zone 2. And we’ve lived in six houses/flats in two countries since DS (now 11) was born. I don’t get the ‘forever home’ thing.

spitefulandbadgrammar · 31/08/2023 07:16

Tiny 400sq ft flat when DC1 was born; moved to a 3-bed terrace then when pregnant with DC2 moved to a 5-bed terrace (need two WFH spaces), which will probably be our until-downsizing-or-sold-for-care-home-fees home simply because moving is expensive and we’re all out of funds for stamp duty. If we have a stroke of luck or fortune I’d spin the Rightmove wheel one more time to get semi-detached, a utility and a bigger garden. But then if I had that I’d probably want something more, and something more…

Didicat · 31/08/2023 07:21

Nope, but I believe in long term rather than forever….. there is no way I’m cleaning this house as an elderly person. Plus no bathroom downstairs, plus plan to relocate for retirement.

Lemonademoney · 31/08/2023 07:23

Absolutely not! We were in our first house when we became parents and have since moved twice. I think this is now my ‘forever’ home but who knows…

DinosApple · 31/08/2023 07:42

We were in a 3 bed house. It was a real doer upper, 1960s house, mainly brown and pink internally. The kitchen didn't get done until DC were 4&3. We moved eventually.

My parents had my brother in a two room cottage. With a ladder between, and no bathroom. They moved before I was born, and only to the next step.

I don't know many people that have had their DC and haven't moved subsequently.

DinosApple · 31/08/2023 07:44

And we will definitely move again! It'll be a downsize then and possibly move area to somewhere cheaper in retirement.

TheInterceptor · 31/08/2023 07:46

Christ no. A one-bedroomed council flat with drug-dealing neighbours. Second baby, we were in my parents' unheated conservatory in winter. Third baby we were in a lovely 3-bed rented house. Fourth baby we were in a detached 4-bed.

We worked our way up. That's life, innit?

allhellcantstopusnow · 31/08/2023 07:54

Yes in that it's owned outright by family so is secure and doesn't cost me anything to live in it. I've no intention of moving and it just about fits us.

Gooseysgirl · 31/08/2023 07:57

No.. we were renting, then bought a house where we have been living for 9 years. I wouldn't describe it as a forever home, but it is more than adequate for us and our two kids and we feel very lucky to have it. I can see us staying here for at least another five years now due to the cost of living crisis and forthcoming whopping great increase in mortgage interest rate.

NorthWestThree · 31/08/2023 07:59

Nope. Baby number 1 was born when we lived in a little 2 bed flat. We moved when he was 18 months old to a 2 bed terraced house and had two more kids. Moved again when eldest was 14 to a 4 bed terrace. But I don't really think in terms of forever home anyway. This house suits our needs much better than the 2 bed, but that is because I had more children.

If we had only had one child we would have stayed in the flat as we would have had no reason to move. I've no idea what life will throw at us (at the moment we might have to move again if we can't afford the mortgage).

Each place we have lived has been a lovely home and we only moved due to circumstances. I don't imagine living in my current house until I die! So personally I don't have a concept of "forever home"

ColdMeg · 31/08/2023 08:02

Like other posters, my experience suggests that forever homes aren't a realistic concept.

We moved into our house before DD was born. But as circumstances changed, we've had to change the function of rooms around a lot, and still the space isn't right for how we live. We'd be better with something smaller and more compact, and nearer my dad, who is now a widower.

Yet I'm aware that circumstances will change further. DH could stop WFH. DD will become a teen. I could change my freelance clients. All this would affect how much space we need and use.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 31/08/2023 08:06

Tbh I don't necessarily find forever homes a desirable concept, never mind a realistic one! Our house moves have been because we wanted to move, not because we had to. No plans to move for now, but we might fancy a change in the future - who knows?

BrutusMcDogface · 31/08/2023 08:07

Moved into our big, empty four bed new build when I was pregnant with our first. Now it’s absolutely full to bursting with four kids and all their stuff! I don’t think we’ll be able to afford to move for a very long time but we’re ok here for now.