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Totally bamboozled myself re food / healthy eating / losing weight

45 replies

Uggghhhh · 29/08/2023 21:19

I’m early 40s. Steadily putting on weight (size14-16) and it’s making me miserable. I have a sweet tooth and a desk job which is obviously not a great combo.

Over the last few years I’ve read various books, joined/unjointed weight loss things, even got a health/fitness coach. And I’m now totally lost on how to feed myself as I’m tying myself in knots over not enough protein, too many carbs, too much sugar, low calorie, not enough fibre, wrong time of day, dairy is inflammatory, gluten is the devil, veggie/meat is ultra-processed and arrrrrrrgggghhhh!!!

Having a loose meal plan helps us food shop better and waste less, as well as having some more variety in our meals. We’re quite relaxed about it - eg we sort 5-7 dinners and then decide which one we fancy rather than being Monday must be X and Tuesday must be Y.

But sitting here looking up recipes I’ve realised how fucked up my thinking is. Breakfast burrito looks yummy but oooh there’s whale at in the wrap. Veggie chilli sounds great but only 7g of protein.

In all the weight loss approaches I’ve looked at, they all make sense. But I feel like I’ve totally overwhelmed myself and can’t get their “messages” out of my head. I know balance is the key, but when I read a 1400 calorie plan that has overnight oats got breakfast and egg avocado pita for lunch I’m catching myself thinking “well the dairy and oats and pita will inflame my gut biome”. I don’t even really know what biomes are. I hate science. I do feel bloated after pasta and bread. Love both. And butter. And want to be thinner (size 12 would do).

How do I reset? And get over my brainwashed view of what should be just normal sodding food?

OP posts:
Uggghhhh · 29/08/2023 21:20

Sorry for typos
whale = wheat

OP posts:
Shoemadlady · 29/08/2023 21:21

Best way is to try and calorie count, lower carbs, cut out crap (cake sweet crisps alcohol) and ray high protein.
Any diet is only going to work if you move though, 20 mins 5 times a week of exercise that gets your heart rate up. Try the couch to 5k app. It's great and super easy

amicissimma · 29/08/2023 21:29

Helpful article from Yuka about how the food groups, particularly carbs, affect our bodies.

I can also highly recommend the Yuka app - you zap the barcode of the item you are considering buying and the app tells you how good for you it is. Including fat/fibre/protein/energy/salt and sugar content, as well as what additives lurk within. Shopping today I put 3 items scoring 7, 4 and 2 out of 100 back on the shelf and found myself a surprise 63/100 meal.

Carbohydrates - Yuka

Carbohydrates affect our blood glucose: know all about it and how to manage their consumption throughout the day to feel better than ever!

https://yuka.io/en/basics/carbohydrates

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

bellac11 · 29/08/2023 21:35

Dont overcomplicate it

I once set a goal for myself, can I eat 10 portions (of at least 80g) fruit and veg a day

Once you get on that track, you'll see how easily all the other food becomes more in proportion, you can only fit in so much per day, plan the meals/snacks around fruit and veg.

Minimise overly processed foods, dont get too caught up on different food types at the moment until you can tell what suits you

Personally I cope better with lower carbs and higher protein/fats but that doesnt suit everyone

Then after a period of time, couple of months perhaps take stock and see whats working for you

SmileyClare · 29/08/2023 21:48

Don’t overcomplicate it

Agree. Reduce your portion sizes and make sure you’re feeling hungry before eating.
I often go to bed feeling hungry. It won’t harm you.

Physical exercise will also suppress your appetite as will keeping well hydrated and eating food with a high water content.

The health benefits of losing excess weight far outweigh anything else- including having an optimal gut biome!

PaminaMozart · 29/08/2023 21:51

I know you've already read many books, but I found The Sugar Solution by Dr Mark Hyman an excellent explanation, with lots of useful advice on what to eat, including many easy yet tasty recipes.

I'd sum it up as "eat (real, unadulterated) food, not too much, mostly plants - plus moderate amounts of lean protein and some healthy fats and complex/unrefined carbs".

Staying clear of sugar, refined carbs and UPF is key.

In an average day I'd say I eat 2 eggs, c. 120g of fish or chicken, a cupful of chickpeas, lentils or quinoa, and lots of vegetables and salad dressed in an EVOO dressing, plus a piece or two of fruit, sometimes half a cup of yoghurt.

I try to be creative with salads. I love salads!

A couple of times a week I go totally wild and have a glass of wine and/or a dollop of icecream...

I also try to stay fit by working out with weights/dumbbells most days.

Uggghhhh · 30/08/2023 06:05

PaminaMozart · 29/08/2023 21:51

I know you've already read many books, but I found The Sugar Solution by Dr Mark Hyman an excellent explanation, with lots of useful advice on what to eat, including many easy yet tasty recipes.

I'd sum it up as "eat (real, unadulterated) food, not too much, mostly plants - plus moderate amounts of lean protein and some healthy fats and complex/unrefined carbs".

Staying clear of sugar, refined carbs and UPF is key.

In an average day I'd say I eat 2 eggs, c. 120g of fish or chicken, a cupful of chickpeas, lentils or quinoa, and lots of vegetables and salad dressed in an EVOO dressing, plus a piece or two of fruit, sometimes half a cup of yoghurt.

I try to be creative with salads. I love salads!

A couple of times a week I go totally wild and have a glass of wine and/or a dollop of icecream...

I also try to stay fit by working out with weights/dumbbells most days.

Argh. This was one of the books I’d read!

i get it but it’s soooo limiting.

OP posts:
Uggghhhh · 30/08/2023 06:07

Don’t over complicate it

am going to go for this. I think high ish protein low ish sugar and calorie count.

OP posts:
NorthWestThree · 30/08/2023 06:21

I think we definitely live in an age of Too Much Information! I find this in every area of my life. I buy a cotton shopping bag so I don't use the plastic carrier bags, and then I read about the awful impact on the environment of the production of cotton. I am vegetarian for environmental reasons but then veggie food is ultra processed and bad for me. Every time I think I have an opinion on something, ANYTHING, then I read something else to the contrary and I'm so confused.

There are so many diets, and fads, and lifestyle changes and eating choices and programmes and books and theories. Making (mostly) women feel bad about themselves is a billion dollar industry!

I'm where you are, overwhelmed with how on earth to lose weight and keep it off. "Diets don't work" I hear all the time. But the only way to change my body is to change how I eat, which is a diet! (Or lifestyle change, sure, but that is just semantics)

Here's where I am at. Small changes gradually. I'm drinking more water. I'm trying to make sure half my plate is fruit or vegetables. I'm trying to limit obvious high fat foods and opt for low fat high protein. And I'm trying to exercise more (though I have no idea how. Running is so boring. I can't afford a gym. I live in a tiny house with no space to do home YouTube workouts. I might try Wall Pilates!)

But I also think a really really important element of all this is psychological and I need to try and like who I am right now. Fat or thin, I need clothes that fit and I feel good in (or at least OK).

Next time you are reaching for another faddy diet book, swap it for a Marian keyes 😜

MintJulia · 30/08/2023 06:21

bellac11 · 29/08/2023 21:35

Dont overcomplicate it

I once set a goal for myself, can I eat 10 portions (of at least 80g) fruit and veg a day

Once you get on that track, you'll see how easily all the other food becomes more in proportion, you can only fit in so much per day, plan the meals/snacks around fruit and veg.

Minimise overly processed foods, dont get too caught up on different food types at the moment until you can tell what suits you

Personally I cope better with lower carbs and higher protein/fats but that doesnt suit everyone

Then after a period of time, couple of months perhaps take stock and see whats working for you

This works for me too.

A wide variety of fruit & veg, I aim for 30 different ones a week, and then add the protein - meat, fish, cheese, eggs or beans/olives/pulses.

Keep it simple. Grilled fish or meat, stews, curries, roasts. Make your own sauces & dressings. They take 2 mins but have much less sugar.

And go for a walk at lunchtime every day.

TheOutlaws · 30/08/2023 06:26

I’ve lost over a stone following a couple of really simple rules:

  1. No sweets/chocolate/cake/biscuits/ice cream.
  2. No snacks.
  3. Try to do 16/8 most days (just a coffee until 12pm).

Just reduce opportunities to eat. It doesn’t feel like a diet, and you soon get used to not snacking.

LunaNorth · 30/08/2023 06:28

Aim to eat 30 plants a week. Herbs, different nut varieties, even fresh coffee and herbal teas count, so it’s not onerous.
Eat/drink something fermented every day.
Avoid UPFs like the plague.
Stop worrying about calorie counting.

It’s what I’m now doing after being in the same situation as you. I’m full of energy, feel great, and if I lose some pounds as a natural result of what I’m doing that’s fine, but it’s no longer my primary aim: good health and a calm feeling around food are. And so far, it’s working.

BMrs · 30/08/2023 06:32

Try not to over complicate things. I'd start with a calorie deficit. I mostly do this by eating the same meals as my family but I bulk up my meal with veggies and big salads (normally do a big bowl just for myself). This way is till feel full but my portion of calorie high food like carbs is reduced.

Luckydog7 · 30/08/2023 06:51

Op. Lots of pp have recommended their own method which probably isn't helping with your confusion. The truth about weight loss is that there are lots of ways to do it successfully, the challenge is choosing one and sticking to it.

You need to find the one that most suits your body and lifestyle.

As you are getting bloating after carbs then a low carb/keto method might work. However this won't work for you if you struggle with limiting yourself and simply doing a reduced calories system might be better for you.

If you like to go hard and fast, then the fast 800 might work for you.

None of the popular diets are 'bad' and you can worry about your macros in any of them but universal good advice would be...

Reduce processed food, sugar and junk food, maybe even to zero.

Increase vegetable intake, especially above ground veggies. Try to include a couple of portions at least in every meal.

Janieforever · 30/08/2023 06:59

I’d ask myself are you spinning your wheels like this in an attempt to put off actually starting to healthy eat and loose weight. Ie focusing on how so you don’t actually have to do it?

you need to be in the right headspace to loose weight. It’s like something changes In your mind and you do it. Unless that happens you will find lots of reasons not to, inc I’m oh so confused, or lots of reasons to cheat and self Sabotage.

iamthattree · 30/08/2023 07:06

I hear you. As a life long chubster (more overweight than you) who has lost a whole person of weight and put it back again, I'd say keep it simple and moderate and what you like to eat and suits you. I have done the Zoe study for example but the recommendations on nuts and seeds give me awful heartburn and dodgy tummy so my microbiome may be peachy but my bathroom isn't....

Plus realistic expectations which is my downfall. Half a lb a week is good.

I am also not a fan of treat days but allowing yourself a meal out/a takeaway/that whole slice of cake once in a while does no harm. Every day not so great maybe but an on/off diet approach is not long term sustainable so don't set yourself up for failure by expecting it to be.

HeyDiddleDumplings · 30/08/2023 07:46

Oh god OP, I feel completely the same.

I’ve actually cut out social media for the last 3 weeks and that’s helped!

Im planning on going to slimming world. It’s worked for me before. And whilst I know it’s not perfect, I think it’s mostly based on eating whole foods and I can make family
dinners and not cook different things for us all. Plus I need something easy to fit in with our life.

GreyCarpet · 30/08/2023 07:53

As you'll see from this thread, you're going to get the same mix of confusing advice that you've already read!

Lowering carbs is a good idea. Especially if you find you get bloated after carbs.

All carbs are converted into sugar by your body whether they're low GI or not - it just happens more slowly with lower GI foods and so doesn't cause insulin spikes.

The best thing you can do to reset your body is to eat real food. Meat, fish, veg and good fats. Reduce your carb intake. Avoid diet and 'low fat' versions of foods - full fat is better for you, satiates you more and reduces the likelihood of snacking on sweet stuff. Avoid UPFs (a lot of food marketed as healthy is UPF).

In addition to the webpage linked to above, listen to a few podcasts.

https://open.spotify.com/show/20d1DidaxtMHwc14mG4sag

This is The Obesity Code by Dr Jason Fung Start with listening to the Energy Balance one.

https://open.spotify.com/show/62COiRrsNGEDpRwHyQWCaj

And that's the podcast by Dr's Chris and Xand Tullekan about ultra processed food.

they talk about how your body metabolises UPFs and doesn't recognise them as real food (which is why you (well I) could eat a 14" pizza to myself but actually have a very small appetite when it comes to real food!)

People will come on here and tell you it's 'simple calories in and out' that help you lose weight - fewer calories + moving more = weightloss. Actually, that's not true because our bodies are not simple machines. All calories are not equal and how your body processes and uses different calorie sources is different. Weightloss is 80% food and only 20% exercise. Although exercise is good for your health overall, it's your diet that has the biggest impact on weightloss. Your body also becomes more efficient on low calorie diets (which are miserable and unsustainable in the long term) which is why people end up putting on more weight than they lost when they fall off the wagon.

People used to scoff at the idea that weightloss is hormonal (because people use it as an 'excuse'). But actually weightloss is all to do with hormones. In its simplest form, all carbs trigger an insulin response; protein does in higher quantities but to a lesser degree; fat doesn't trigger an insulin response.

Insulin prevents your body from burning fat.

Which is why people have such dramatic weightloss results on keto. It's not because of a calorie deficit. If you do keto properly, then it you won't be in a calorie deficit and will eat between your BMR and TDEE. But it is hard to maintain so many people just cut down on obvious carbs.

Lower carb also has the effect of reducing your cravings for sweet stuff because your insulin doesn't spike, your appetite becomes more regulated so you lose those painful hunger pangs and many people find it reduces their taste for very sweet stuff.

A pp is right. You need to find an approach that works for you but given what you have said about bloating after pasta and having a sweet tooth, I would at least listen to the Dr Fung podcasts.

The Obesity Code Podcast

Listen to The Obesity Code Podcast on Spotify. Patient stories from Intensive Dietary Management. Featuring Dr. Jason Fung and Megan Ramos, and hosted by Carl Franklin from the 2 Keto Dudes podcast.

https://open.spotify.com/show/20d1DidaxtMHwc14mG4sag

Peony654 · 30/08/2023 07:53

Really keep it simple. Focus on whole foods and variety - veg, fruit (in any form - frozen, tinned etc), nuts, seeds, whole grains, unprocessed meat / fish. Have as long a gap as you can overnight not eating. Tim Spectors book is good. Don’t buy anything branded ‘low fat’, is all full of sugar and additives

Resentful2023 · 30/08/2023 07:53

I hear you and also everyone in being helpful has also shared lots of different approaches! All I would add is that when you try different things make sure it's something you can sustain as a lifestyle.

Peony654 · 30/08/2023 07:55

And don’t put it off or procrastinate by trying to find the ‘perfect’ diet. Make small changes each day. See what works for you, what you enjoy and what is sustainable

GreyCarpet · 30/08/2023 07:59

I think that what is coming through on this thread is that, regardless of which approach you follow, cutting down on carbs and eating real food is a good place to start.

Oh and drinking water. Lots of water!

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 30/08/2023 08:06

I'm also 14-16 wanting to be a 12, but am in a different position from you, in that I've reached a point (after many years of sporadic dieting in different styles) where I have no real uncertainty or confusion over what I should do to be healthier and lose a bit of weight: reduce UPF as much as possible, eat plenty of veg and fruit, some lean protein, healthy fats and minimally-processed carbs. And avoid snacking. I don't think there's any need to count anything. Unfortunately, sticking to all 9f this another matter, especially when your family has no interest in doing so.

TheProvincialLady · 30/08/2023 08:09

Do you think you are in danger of crossing into disordered eating? Your (over) thinking sounds quite unhealthy and a bit obtrusive. If so, it’s going to be REALLY important for you to find a balanced approach including some treat/less than perfect food. Believe me, it’s better to be size 14 and happy than it is to be size 12 with an eating disorder.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 30/08/2023 08:11

Why not start with the obvious things - the ones that taste nice but make you feel crappy afterwards?

You can get wraps made of corn instead of wheat - they're also usually smaller.

If you want burgers, do you actually want the crappy buns as well, or would you feel better having the burgers, the pickles, the salad, cheese, mushrooms AND fried egg and potato wedges for fewer calories than one takeaway drenched in mayonnaise and sauce with a can of coke to cut through the grease?

Fuck the concept of UPFs - that's demonising everything up to and including lactose free milk, baby formula and medical feeds for people with no ability to swallow.

Start feeling better first, then you can look at losing weight.